mrbrown.com

Government Health Warning

Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:

Jobs Available!

SITUATIONS VACANT

In light of the recent appointment of Malaysia's new Deputy Prime Minister, the Prime Minister's Department is pleased to invite applications from patriotic Malaysians to fill the following vacant positions:

You Don't Know Jack Schitt

Finally, The Lineage Revealed

The lineage is now revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt," but now you can handle this situation with confidence!

Is Big Brother Watching You?

I got this off Usenet, that last bastion of truth, justice and factual accuracies (yeah right). I do not know if this stuff is true or not, but it sure makes interesting reading. -mb

Winning Scientific Theories

Here are the winning entries from a recent contest for "new scientific theories."

Sponsor an Investment Banker

With redundancies at investment banks around the globe looming, now is the time for us to show the world just how much we care. It's just not right. Hundreds of investment bankers in your very own country are living at or just below the seven-figure income level!

22 Million People Called UMNO Hotline!

Bolehland: A total of 21,900,800 people have called the hotline set up by the Malaysian government to allow people express their pro-government sentiments. Local observers believe the figure is the latest proof of strong support enjoyed by the Mahathir regime.

Coffee Addict Test

You know you drink too much coffee when...

Airline Stories

Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

Appraisals & Their Real Meanings

AVERAGE EMPLOYEE - Not too bright

More Headlines for the Soul

59 Actual Newspaper Headlines (collected by journalists)

You Have Two Cows

Politics lesson with my favourite animal, the cow.

Please Fill Out This Form

Please fill out this form before asking for a tech to help you.

50 Reasons Why Anwar Cannot Become Prime Minister Part 2

by Khalid Jafri

50 Reasons Why Anwar Cannot Become Prime Minister Part 1

by Khalid Jafri

The Great Singlish/Singapore Dialect Dictionary

Welcome to Singlish/Singapore Dialect Dictionary. Hope this helps dialect-deficient Singaporeans and clueless non-Singaporeans to better understand the intricacies of the Singapore mind.

Signs of the Times

On a ski lift in Taos, NM:

"No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted."

Resumes from Hell

These are taken from real resumes and cover letters and they were printed in the July 21,1997, issue of Fortune Magazine.

One Liners

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Lost in Space: The Proton Challenger Projek

Hot on the heels of the success of the Proton (National Car) project and the conquest of Mount Everest, Mahathir decided to mount the mother of all challenges - to send Malaysians to the sun. In true JFK style, he announced that Malaysia will send some buminauts to the sun by the year 2020.