mrbrown.com

The Teacher Video Reloaded

I am forever blown away by this little nugget that first got its major publicity here on mrbrown.com. No, the local papers never mention this, of course.

Firstly, the speed at which this video spread. Despite the author never intending it to be a public file, his sharing of it on a friend’s blog site was stumbled upon and word spread like wildfire.

Secondly, the amount of spin control that the authorities and the press went into.
It has been an immense learning experence.

This is a transcript of the infamous Teacher Video that I posted recently. I have removed the link to the site hosting it (but you guys probably know where it is by now, it is probably even on Kazaa by now) but for those of you who are curious about the actual words spoken, here is a bo liao transcript of the whole thing:

 

The correct way, alright, is to review articles, and you should *something incomprehensible*

These articles are taken from this book. In fact I told you to go and buy the book, did you mind your work?

Whatever it is. Up to now, you still have not... where are the articles. If you are as innocent as you... stop talking. If you are as innocent as you sound, where are the articles? That, it was... *something incomprehensible*

It would show the sincerity, of yourself as a media/Pre-U student, where are your articles?

*Student mumbles*

Please don't say that. You explain to me, where are the articles? What have you been doing 1 1/2 weeks. So stop trying to be innocent, stop giving excuses for yourself. I don't want to take it.

I told you already, one week ago at remedial. You I said, "Oh Ms Ho, I'm going to be a good GP student. I change and all that" I said, "actions speaks louder than words", so you are a sly crafty old rat. Aren't you? That is using the literary language from my training as a literature student. I mean this is what it means.

You're trying to cover up your insolence, your defiance, your laziness, your apathy, your lethargy and your bad attitude.

You do it again. *tears paper* And by the way, your articles, ah, are all about weirdos, all about all sorts of, you know, anti-establishment, I would say, unhealthy topics. Your work is supposed to be upbeat, on current affairs. I do not want to read backdated essays. Alright, of weirdos and eccentrics? Welcome to the global village. And it's all about, you know something about politics, whatever it is.

Do you feel the deaths of strangers? The joy of men. Offer maths to the bench (?). The need for new... Fair enough, but I do not want this crap. I want, up to date, current affairs articles. All the good PRC students have never disappointed me from day one. You are the first student I've met who'll do this sort of thing to me.

Firstly you're tardy about handing in your work. Secondly, you ignore the teachers' instructions, you do as you like. You do your work on your own terms. If you want to do your work on your own terms, you get out of this college. You don't have to come to school, to listen for teachers to give instructions. So why are teachers giving instructions? To help you, so you can get on with your work well *shreds homework* *both disperse*

 

Contributed by a Very Free Person

Try Saying

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

FROM: Human Resources

It has been brought to management’s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.

SO...

 

TRY SAYING - Perhaps I can work late.

INSTEAD OF  - When the f**k do you expect me to do this?

 

TRY SAYING - I'm certain that is not feasible.

INSTEAD OF  - No f**king way!!

 

TRY SAYING - Really?

INSTEAD OF  - You've got to be shitting me.

 

TRY SAYING - Perhaps you should check with...

INSTEAD OF  - Tell someone who gives a shit.

 

TRY SAYING - Of course I'm concerned.

INSTEAD OF  - Ask me if I give a shit.

 

TRY SAYING - I wasn't involved in the project.

INSTEAD OF  - It's not my f**king problem.

 

TRY SAYING - That's interesting.

INSTEAD OF  - What the f**k?!?!

 

TRY SAYING - I'm not sure I can implement this.

INSTEAD OF  - F**k it, it won't work.

 

TRY SAYING - I'll try to schedule that.

INSTEAD OF  - Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?

 

TRY SAYING - Are you sure this is a problem?

INSTEAD OF  - Who the f**k cares?

 

TRY SAYING - He's not familiar with the problem.

INSTEAD OF  - He's got his head up his ass.

 

TRY SAYING - So you weren't happy with it?

INSTEAD OF  - Kiss my ass.

 

TRY SAYING - I'm a bit overloaded at this moment.

INSTEAD OF  - F**k it, I'm on salary.

 

TRY SAYING - I don't think you understand.

INSTEAD OF  - Shove it up your ass.

 

TRY SAYING - I love a challenge.

INSTEAD OF  - This job sucks.

 

TRY SAYING - You want me to take care of that?

INSTEAD OF  - WHO the hell died and made you boss?

 

TRY SAYING - I see.

INSTEAD OF  - Blow me.

 

TRY SAYING - Yes, we really should discuss it.

INSTEAD OF  - Another f**king meeting!!!

 

TRY SAYING - I don't think this will be a problem.

INSTEAD OF  - I really don't give a shit.

 

TRY SAYING - He's somewhat insensitive.

INSTEAD OF  - He's a f**king prick.

 

TRY SAYING - She's an aggressive go getter.

INSTEAD OF  - She's a ball busting bitch.

 

TRY SAYING - I think you could use more training.

INSTEAD OF  - You don't know what the f**k you're doing.