mrbrown.com

Giving Yourself the Advertising Slogan You Deserve

I felt that I had to have my own Advertising Slogan, so I used this, and got this"

"Don't Say Brown, Say "mrbrown".

Also try this to find out what product ideas you can be.

I found out that as an product idea: mrbrown is a cufflink! It is water-resistant!

TODAY: The Great Mr Tekong Manhunt Contest

Latest TODAY column is: The Great Mr Tekong Manhunt Contest

Excerpt:

In American action movies, you usually see your typical action movie formula where the hero single-handedly takes on an entire army by himself, then proceeds to exterminate all the military opposition (even though he may only be a fireman), free the hostages, and has time to become the mayor of California.

Singapore had a similar event, except that it was three robbers versus 700 elite soldiers. And the 700 soldiers won. Less “Rambo”, more “3 Men and an Army”.

Allegedly, these three armed Indonesian guys (I said three armed, not three-armed, there were three of them and they were armed) had robbed some Malaysians of their money and handphones, and escaped on their motorized sampan. Spoilt for choice in the Getaway Island Department, these three Einsteins had to choose… yes, a Singapore island. An island for training military recruits. An island filled with armed troops and instructors. Belonging to the most kiasu anti-gun country in the world.

We are talking Darwin Awards stupidity here, folks.

The Life of a Recruit on Tekong

Funny, funny shit by blogger metastasis. Really brings back the BMT days (asterisk-censorship mine, this is a family-site after all).

The Female Dictionary

The secret language of women.

SNE Part 97

Singapore National Education Part 97
Weeks of 1 Mar 2004 to 22 Mar 2004

TODAY: The AngMoh-nising of the Singapore Man

Latest TODAY column is: AngMoh-nising of the Singapore Man

They take our jobs, now they take our weemin. It is time to fight back! Others agree!

Excerpt:

IT seems that our local men and new HDB five-room and executive flats share the same problem. People do not want them.
A letter writer to a local paper recently lamented that there is an alarming trend of local girls marrying Caucasians because these Western men usually have better careers, live in bigger condominiums and drive bigger cars. Everything also bigger.

From the Mailbag 22 Mar 2004

On the TODAY column, Responsible Breeding

From Ivan

Hello Mr Brown.

Nice work on the column and the site. You might be interested to know that perhaps the PAP may be reading up on Ceausescu’s policies in communist Romania.
Best regards, ~Ivan

SNE Part 96

Singapore National Education Part 96
Weeks of 11 Feb 2004 to 1 Mar 2004

TODAY: Responsible Breeding

Latest TODAY column is: Responsible Breeding

Excerpt:

Last night, my four-month-old son, Isaac, smiled at me. My wife says that he seems to smile more when he sees me, so I must have a funny face. Mom is “Dinner”, and Dad is “Entertainment”. A kid cannot get a better deal than this.

I’d like to believe that it is because he finds the “ang-koo-koo”, and assorted baby sounds I make a witty and humourous form of social commentary. Or perhaps he is amused by my ironic take on the day’s news, and my clever use of parody, diminution and extended metaphor to describe the latest episode of Today in Parliament.

But it is probably my funny faces that make him laugh.

TODAY: For more babies send women to NS

Latest TODAY column: For more babies send women to NS

Excerpt:

This week, we learn that our zoo has too many staff, and our country does not have enough babies. All the staff of the zoo are being offered a golden handshake to eliminate areas of duplication.

I guess we cannot have too many zookeepers cleaning up after the same animal. So perhaps the guy looking after the hippos can also double up and look after the rhinos too.

I recommend that the next phase of this exercise be extended to the animals as well, because we do not want any duplicate elephants, tigers or giraffes, as they add to cost and offer very little value-add.

Furthermore, there is more shit to clean up.

From the Mailbag 1 March 2004

From BH

Have not read your site for a while. SNE 95 is a gem!

Bloody shame you came in second in the 2003 awards man. I actually read the blog of the first place winner xiaxue, and the only reason I can think of that you lost was a fan mail base of teenagers who took a liking to her picture.

Sure she was 'open' with her commentary about blowjobs and anal sex, but not nearly as funny as the social commentary you do.

Keep it up man, 'old' geezers like me still supporting you.

Rgds,

BH