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Saturday, January 29, 2005
10 ways to get charged in the Army
From matchboxinme:
1. While on an overseas mission in a land far far away, fall asleep during guard duty. Wake up to discover that two rifles, one M203 and one SAW to be exact, are missing from the inventory list.
2. Agitate your sergeant, thereafter whack him with a chair, ala WWE. The sergeant will kick you back and viola the both of you will be in the same cell.
3. Go on a long hoilday. Do not inform your unit or anyone and keep your handphone off at all times. Do not apply for exit permit or get leave approval as well.
4. Go around bunks and steal packets of instant noodles. The best is steal it from someone of higher rank than you.
5. Have sex with an underage girl while being on AWOL.
6. Drive a SAF vehicle and ram the pillar while reversing.
7. Use vulgar language and threaten sergeant with a knife when the sergeant refuse to let you book out.
8. Assault your sergeant when asked to perform a task and when asked for the reason for assault, assault further.
9. Have "bad parents" that will blow the whistle on you when you are sleeping at home instead of reporting for training.
10. Lie to your superiors about having to visit a relative in hospital and then head on to Zouk instead.
* the above mentioned ways are tried and tested and the accused are currently serving out their sentence in our posh detention barracks
(Thanks to Clement!)
Saturday, January 29, 2005 at 08:59 AM in Contributions | Permalink
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Comments
here's one more....
dunk a fellow soldier's head in water and wait for him to drown....if he doesnt, tie him up and connect him to the targets in the firing range.....
Posted by: Ic3nCok3 | Jan 29, 2005 10:13:23 AM
i'm not sure if no.6 will work so well nowadays.
Posted by: hucks | Jan 29, 2005 10:27:59 AM
very funny. indeed.
Posted by: bystander | Jan 29, 2005 10:34:12 AM
You can be charged for anything.
I've a friend who was charged for sleeping during lunch time, fined $100 and posted out (he was in CMPB)
Posted by: Agagooga | Jan 29, 2005 1:45:41 PM
i have a friend whose officer threatened to charge anyone who didnt attend the chalet they organised.
but no one dared to miss it so i dont know if they really would have been charged. maybe (hopefully!) it was just a joke.. then again..
Posted by: eileen | Jan 29, 2005 11:08:28 PM
Why nobody thinking of whacking the officer instead? Sergeant don't charge men, it's the occifers!
Posted by: Maverick | Jan 29, 2005 11:17:28 PM
Someone I know who went to DB asked this malay guy (SAF driver) what he was doing time for?
Apparently this joker took an SAF 3 tonner, drove it into a HDB housing estate, to help his family move house using the 3 tonner!
Awesome huh?
Posted by: Kelvin | Jan 30, 2005 12:46:33 AM
I've heard abt M113 ending up in Sarimbun reservoir. but donno if that's urban legend.
Posted by: alvin wong | Jan 30, 2005 10:40:51 AM
Well, I am the owner of the blog which this piece came from and I can assure you all these charges are true. My friends cleverly put it here without my knowledge.
Posted by: kengloon | Jan 30, 2005 11:37:06 AM
ive heard about some guy who got charged for cooking instant noodles in his bunk, solid fuel and all...
Posted by: jerm | Jan 30, 2005 4:55:25 PM
During my BMT, i had a platoon mate who wasn't exactly straight. Let's call him A.
somewhere along that 10 weeks of training, there was this day when A bumped into a platoon sergeant of a neighbouring company. Not sure of how the entire conversation was like but A ended up serving 10 days in DB.
The only thing we all know was that A asked the sergeant if he wanted a blowjob from him.
Now wasn't that an easy way to take a 10 day break from BMT...
Posted by: Burkinfas | Jan 31, 2005 12:26:48 AM
my experiences
1) drop your m16 rifle during a topo exercise..and to retrieve back next morning by activating whole company.. and spend 10days in DB..
2) go out for beer when doing guard com duties, and fight with platoon mates..that'll cost abt 1 mth in DB
3) go up to bunk and play playstation during guard duties...only to be spotted by freaking clerk..who bao toh to CSM..1 week DB life..
Posted by: strats | Jan 31, 2005 11:56:11 AM
contrary to popular belief, 2lts don't usually charge soldiers. we simply "recommend them to be charged in court" =) and handle the subsequent paperwork...
c'mon, there are more than a million ways to get charged. i remember joking with my friends once, after some discussion on difficult soldiers, how we would handle various cases. for each case we brought up, the unanimous decision was "CHARGE!!!" your officers are such lovely people ;-)
in fact, we were thinking of programming a random chargeable offence generator...
Posted by: kureshii | Jan 31, 2005 8:29:53 PM
looks like some of em can also be ways on how to go mental ward...
Posted by: meow | Feb 3, 2005 9:17:45 PM
the m113 thing is no urban legend. Been a lot of such incidents. Especially in wallaby. But doubt anyone got charged. Training incidents are seldom charged. Its a friggin old vehicle and if the gonna charge all those who got into an accident becoz of it, half the m113 operators will be in DB or servin SOL. BTW ever heard of someone who got charged for forgetting to close a book? If ur superiors don't like you, u can get charged for anything. Btw only ur OC (JDO) and ur CO (SDO) can charge people. Charge is usually recommended by ur CSM before he goes left right left right left right......
Posted by: Kel | Feb 13, 2005 12:21:53 PM
Point 10 I personally witness a 2LT doing it...diver some more.
My cook was charged with impersonating a police officer and robbing a foreign....talent.
Posted by: Tigerkiller | Feb 28, 2005 8:04:15 PM
Oh how would charges like SOL affect people in life later on?
Ever heard of a charge due to Admin Lapse?
Posted by: Kiddo | Jun 11, 2005 10:54:23 AM
