Singapore National Education Part 105 -- by mr brown
Weeks of 6 Jan 2005 to 25 Jan 2005
[post continues in Extended Body...]
I have also learned lately:
1. That young people of Singapore who have been drawn away from officially controlled sources of Singapore news, information and history, by the internet, sms, and gaming, need to be brought back into the fold and be given a "distinctively Singaporean perspective" via a new newspaper for students by SPH, called IN.
Please note that a "distinctively Singaporean perspective" does not mean "The PAP version", I am sure it is not as Machiavellian as that. Although I doubt my version of Singapore National Education qualifies as the kind of "distinctively Singaporean perspective" they want young Singaporeans to read.
"Manpower Minister and Second Minister for Education Ng Eng Hen, who officiated the launch held at CHIJ St Nicholas Girls' School, praised The Straits Times' latest publication.
Acknowledging the challenges posed to print media by the Internet, SMS and computer gaming, he spoke of the importance of reading and said the supplement will give 'a view of home and the rest of the world from a distinctively Singaporean perspective to the teenage audience' in a fun and lively way.
He said: 'I want to cheer The Straits Times on. I hope more organisations will emulate their example in engaging and investing in our young and our future.'" -ST
2. That according to Yun Nam themselves, recent research shows that people believe that Yun Nam is the most effective hair care centre and there are 8 times more Singaporeans who believe that Yun Nam is more popular than its competitors.
Note, the research did not show Yun Nam was the most effective hair care centre, or that hair experts thought that Yun Nam was the most effective.
Also note that their research did not show that Yun Nam was more popular than its competitors (in terms of sales data etc), but that more people BELIEVED they were more popular. I am only quoting the ads, people.
I really like their ads, they always make me laugh. I particularly like the white coat Ang Moh they always use with the bad voice dubbing.
Recent research has shown that mr brown thinks Yun Nam has the most credible scientific-looking Western hair doctors ever used in a hair commercial.
3. That my New Year resolution is 1280 by 854.
4. That when you finally meet your favourite local bloggers for the first time in person, you are tactfully told that it is about time you updated the photo on your site.
Thanks Agagooga, I know I have put on weight.
(I have since replaced my photo, where I was suave and slim, with a more recent photo showing my more sensitive side. In my new photo, a older, fatter me is doing unmentionable things to a rubber chicken.)
5. That there are rumours that the Singapore gay community have given up trying to organise the next Snowball '05 party, and are now planning Taupok '05. They have pledged to practise Safe Taupoking.
"Put an end to this dangerous JC 'game'
I AM a parent of a boy studying in a premier junior college in the Bishan-Ang Mo Kio area. Recently, it has come to my attention that rowdy behaviour is threatening to compromise the safety of the students.
According to my son, the violent act is dubbed 'taupok', a reference to a highly compressible piece of brown beancurd. A student would shout 'taupok' and other students would pounce on the targeted person, drag him down forcefully and climb on top of him. Due to peer pressure, more and more students would join in until the stack of bodies is about a metre high.
This violent act is supposedly done in the name of fun but, as a parent, I feel that it is potentially dangerous and even life-threatening." -ST Forum 11 Jan 2005
6. That when asking a female colleague to print Powerpoint slides for you, two on a page, it is probably best not to ask her if she can "do it two up".
7. That Singapore students have been warned not to taupok. This may because this generation is made of taufu.
To combat this phenomenon, the nation-building press has begun to do serious pieces like "Bonding Rituals THRILL or TORTURE?" Ooooh, serious news coverage. Some more got mention even more scary and medically unsafe ritual like last-boy-to-ejaculate-on-cookie-must-eat-it game. Ooooh, wild underbelly of Singaporean students and all that.
8. That it is possible for a principal of a premier junior college in the Bisha-Ang Mo Kio area to stand up on stage and remind his students that "taupoking" is not allowed. With a straight face.
9. That you are taking Sid Meier's "Pirates!" game waaaaay too seriously when your wife asks you to help her with the kids, and you say without looking up from the monitor, "Ok wait, don't bother me. I'm dancing with the daughter of the Governor."
10. That despite being an Internet Project Manager for more than five years, my friend still cannot convince his mother that he does not fix computers for a living, and his father thinks he is a programmer. And his mother tells all the relatives' computer problems to call him.
My mother stopped bugging me about a real job when I started getting CPF, around seven years after I left school.
11. That there is something bizarre about being able to buy a pirated version of Pirates! (my copy is ogirinal one, ok?).
12. That the punishment for buying pirated DVDs from Johor Bahru is watching National Treasure by Nicholas Cage, and reaching the last ten minutes, only to see total darkness with only the sound.
Must be the usher walked past the bootlegger.
And to make it worse, the owners of that DVD did not even know what the National Treasure was, because of the missing last ten minutes of video. You will never get that one hour and fifty minutes of your life back, Jazz my friend.
13. That, according to PM Lee:
We "do not have to make speeches at Speakers' Corner" — cannot publicise your speech beforehand, must put your name down with the police, cannot use loudspeaker, Speaker what Corner.
We "do not need to mount street demonstrations" — have you tried to apply for a license for one of these? It is easier to get permission to have a gay party.
We "do not need to join the opposition" — What opposition, you mean the guys we don't get to vote for every election?
That is why life is good in Singapore. No need to make all these hard decisions.
"PM Lee said: "They do not have to make speeches at Speakers' Corner, they do not need to mount street demonstrations, they do not need to join the opposition, they can actually do something and they can make a difference - and in fact join the PAP, be an MP, speak as a minister or backbencher and get things done." -ST
14. That if you used Firefox on your PC long enough, you will not even notice you have picked up some spyware until you run your spyware killer software.
Death to Internet Explorer!!!
15. That Singapore has a new dancing Lion icon that is supposed to be a mix between Chinese, Malay and Indian culture. And yes, it was designed by committee.
FRIENDLY FELINE: PM Lee pats the hybrid dancing lion, which blends elements of Chinese, Malay and Indian culture to symbolise Singapore, while Dr Khor and Mr Ang look on.
By Li Xueying
YOU'VE photographed the spurting Merlion, cheered the football-dribbling Lions, and gaped at the sleeping cats in the zoo.
With 10,000 spectators looking on under a full moon, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong dotted the eyes of a lion head designed to symbolise the mythical creature discovered by Sang Nila Utama." ST- 24 Jan 2005
16. That the new Singapore Lion has elements of Chinese, Malay and Indian culture. Er, what happened to the "Others" race?
Sorry, we cannot feature the "Others" race, because according to our research, they have no culture we can blend into the Rojak* Lion. They only know how to play guitar in the void deck, and we could not create a dance for that.
*Rojak, for our international readers, is a lovely Asian salad.
17. That the new Singapore Lion is a symbol for racial harmony, and is not a symbol for the racially confused.
18. That every time you mix cultures into a symbol and try to be something for everyone, you end up with a mutant symbol that no self-respecting race or country wants to own.
19. That our new Singapore Rojak Lion has a streamlined pointed snout, bared fangs, and five stars and a crescent on its forehead. That's just cruel, man. Now the other iconic Lions from the Czech Republic, Denmark, England, Montenegro, Netherlands and Sweden are just going to laugh at it.
"Ooh, look at Singa! What's with the five stars and crescent on your forehead, dude? Bwahahahahahaha!"
20. That just when you thought the puking Merlion looks silly, along comes the new Singapore Lion.
As chiefidler from idledays.net put it, it looks like something out of Transformer's Beast Wars. i think the chiefidler was being kind.
21. That if piss a woman off, she will do the worst possible thing (no, not the ball ripping story), she will DELETE your MMORPG character!!!
That's cold, man, totally cold, vindictive stuff. Knife through the very heart of man, this.
"Woman arrested for deleting MMORPG character
A Japanese woman was arrested for wiping her boyfriend's save game data…
The jilted girlfriend, said to be in her thirties, logged onto her ex-lover's Lineage account with his username and password. Once there she deleted his game data including all the items, weapons and clothes he had collected.
Although the boyfriend did not suffer financially he reported the misuse of his account to the police. Police then reported the woman of Toyama Prefecture, to the Fukushima District Public Prosecutors Office accusing her of violating a law banning illegal access to someone else's online accounts.
The woman has admitted the crime. "I did it as revenge for breaking up with me," she told police.
The couple actually met through playing the game, love blossomed in the online RPG and the lovers soon met up. However the relationship did not last long and thoughts turned to revenge."
22. That when you are waiting for your hot dog order at the new Bangers and Mash place at Raffles Place, you should not declare out loud to your friend, upon seeing the cook take out a really long sausage to grill, "Hey Tones, your one so long ah!"
23. That when you are the youngest Nominated MP, plus former beauty queen and Wheel of Fortune co-host, and you had to miss your swearing-in in Parliament because of work commitments (overseas concert gig), the lynch mob will come for you.
One way to avoid this is to be an old, fat and ugly woman NMP or MP. Then nobody will get on your case because no one will give a toss.
24. That some final year student in NUS wants to protest the fact that the Opposition keeps losing at elections, and calls for the Opposition to boycott the next elections.
Er, if you boycott the elections, wouldn't we have EVEN LESS Opposition?
I can see the headlines now: "Singapore Opposition stops their losing streak at the Elections by not showing up"
Someone please tell me that this is a troll.
"Hello everyone, I am new here, a 22 year old Indian and final year NUS student. I have something to get off my chest.
Throughout history of Singapore elections Opposition keep losing. If the elections is free and fair, why do this happen?
PAP has scared voters into voting for them with threats of upgrading etc. They will allow Opposition to win 2 seats the most.
That being the case, all Opposition should come together and boycott the next elections
I read this forum and see some forumites share the same views. Mostly they are with SDP. I am happy SDP has the foresight and to share that SDP is my favorite Opposition.
SDP, take the lead to boycott the elections!! You have my support! Many Sinkaporeans may laugh at you now but I believe one day they will realize what you do is right. Especially when the economy will get worse and worse (what is happening now)." - iqbalz from Sammyboy forums
25. That civil servants will be losing their parking perks and be expected to pay full price for their season parking at work.
Wait a minute, civil servants had parking perks? $80 to park in Coleman Street?
Next you'll be telling me they got bonuses throughout the whole recession too.
"Civil servants to lose parking perks from April
Rates will now match that of private sector in a bid to get more to use public transport
FROM April 1, driving to work will cost all civil servants more after the Government pulls the plug on parking perks.
The new policy, which applies to all government employees, is apparently designed to encourage more civil servants onto public transport by withdrawing subsidised carpark fees.
Some government staff working in the Coleman Street area, for example, will see their parking fees almost double from $80 to $150 if they decide to keep on driving.
Even those working in government-owned buildings will not be spared." -ST 23 Jan 2005
By Lee Kin Mun (Copyright 2005)