When you need to make it as a model or you are looking for talent, try Steven Lim's talent page. Here are some of the descriptions found on his models page. Mr Tan and I spent a pleasant evening dissecting the descriptions:
"Linda got the sad sad cute puppy look eyes n demure n pretty. All events including modeling. Linda n Xiu Mei r frenz 4ever!"
"Xiu Mei is a very spirited, bubbly adorable girl that is quick on poses. All events including modeling, photo shoots (casual). Linda n Xiu Mei r frenz!"
When you need models who are frenz 4ever, Steven has them.
"Du Du has a very gorgeous face but rather big but envious body."
What is her body envious of?
"Cathy Yan is gorgeous, sweet young thing. Brighten up any atmosphere"
She is a sun? Good for lighting ads?
"Ricky is a bouncy, n so so cute with a cute shape."
A model to hire if you need a ball?
"Ivy is Japanese look alike. Unique features n attractive. She is dedicating her life to teaching. I m very touched. Good for most events."
And being touched has to do with her modeling ability how? And if she's dedicating her life to teaching..how come she is also good for most events?
"Amanda is a very nice n pretty girl n is my Junior."
The Alma Mater school of modeling.
"Fiona is bound to be a tall refined beauty, good figure."
But for now she is still short?
"Gorgeous Angela is happily married to her beloved husband."
No projects that require her to work with slimey men?
"Carey is half Hong Kong Girl."
And what is the other half? Hong Kong guy?
"Jennifer got what all women wants for assets, good looks n larger than life female assets, plus good natured character."
Larger than life female assets... I mean, how BIG IS SHE? K Cup?
"Ci Ci got what all women wants for assets, unique Asian looks n larger than life female assets."
Another one, Jennifer's arch rival in the larger than life asset department.
"Cathy is a true beauty from TJC. She is so good at giving poses that makes people wanna snap more of her. All events including photo shoots (only casual), modeling."
No formal photo shoots please.
"Miak is a NTU's Hall 1 beauty pageant 1st runner up 2006. Sweet, pretty angelic face with proportionate figure."
Thank goodness. Proportionate people are so hard to come by these days.
"Serene is a pretty girl n certainly very attractive with a heart of gold involving in social activities. Great for modeling, photo shoots including bikini, commercials."
For those bikini charity photo shoots?
"Helen is a pretty pretty pretty, n figure is slim."
We're missing a noun here, I think.
"Cherise Khit looks like Hong Kong movie star."
Jackie Chan?
"Bao Zhen is such a sweet cutie! Her face like one of the members of 5566."
Waitaminute, isn't 5566 a Taiwanese BOY Band?
"Beverly Teo is looking good without wearing her glasses."
What happens when she wears them?
"Rebecca is an Eurasian! Eurasian always looks good n unique. East mix west look."
Win liao! Eurasian exclamation! Eurasian is AUTO WIN. ALWAYS looks good and unique leh.
"Jerene is so cute that only her little lady's voice can match."
Who's her little lady?
"Janet is a very slim n lanky beauty, with a pair of small small eyes. Good for all events including modeling n some acting."
Thank goodness it's a pair.
"Michelle got a very pretty n eurasian perfect face from heaven. Slim, not short body."
Slim, NOT short body. ok?
"Fadly is so handsome n cool. Look at the hair!!! Good for modeling, runway n photoshoots n acting. He also an expert in setting up stage n props for any good events."
You have to pay him one fee to hire the hair, and another for the setting up of the stage?
"Gina Mackay is hot stuff from Scotland UK. Great for all kinds of events, including commercial, photoshoots. She is leaving Singapore soon. Pay for her air tickets to be back."
Affordable foreign talent. Will work for airfare.
"Julia is tall, pretty n got class. Nice figure n holds a professional white collared job."
White collared job! Must have uniform.
"Nisa is a natural borne model. She got character, poses naturally n got utmost potential. Great for photo shoots n modeling including bikini & lingerie. Her body is super balanced n nice."
Natural borne? She's a virus? Ah, not only that, she is super balanced. Top and bottom same weight.
"Esther is a petite, shy yet really sweet n nice lady. She is yet careful n meticulous in handling things."
Good for modeling or acting jobs that deal with fragile products?
"Iris is really hot! Super good looks, sculpted body by swimming. She is unstoppable!"
Sounds like a superhero.
"Ivan is tall n handsome n photogenic. He looks the best without smiling with cool looks."
Good for work without smiling.
"Krystal is one of our more influential models who live in Orchard. But I strongly feel that she is very suitable for any advertisements that needs a professional look with more matured appeal. She will like to do cat walk. Walked with her for photoshoot, attracted many guys' attention, especially matured guys! All events especially photoshoot, modeling."
I say again, MATURED appeal for MATURED guys.
"Mishelle is not only a 6.3 pointers. She got x-factor, nice personality n mesmerizing smile. A face that only looks better every min. All events including modeling. A small body compared to her head with 25 inches waist."
That is a good score, 6.3, though I am not sure what it is for. And a face that looks better every minute means you have to wait maybe half an hour before you snap? Head to body to waist ratio is of course, always important. You don't want big headed models.
"Talents: (Cheryl) got super nice singing voice! Can sing for all events except bikini (wasted)"
No bikini singing events please. Wasted indeed.
"Great experience in Dancing (esp. in hip hop) n acting, gorgeous lady. All events but no bikini =("
*Sad face*
"Note: Li Wen is a Hong Kong-Singaporean Mix babe. Borne in Hong Kong. Now a Singaporean."
If you were borne in Indonesia and now a Singaporean, you would be an Indonesia-Singaporean Mix babe.
"Talents: Willing to do Bikini & All Events including acting (note: she got good female assets)"
Repeat, good female assets, and bikini events.
"Talents: Got Fashion Sense, Modeling experience, but no bikini (sorry guys, she says no)"
She does not own one? She has no bikini experience? What?
"Boyish Girl Role. Various events/ acting except wearing skirt roles."
None of that feminine role nonsense.
