mrbrown: L'infantile terrible of Singapore

mrbrown at NDP 2009: Total Defence!

What's going on at NDP 2009 with all these tanks and such? So drama! My little present to all you NDPeeps, very early video footage of a much anticipated segment in NDP 2009.

Help this fiesty princess who has cancer

Charmaine has neuroblastoma, a form of cancer and is at her 4th stage of chemo now. Her condition is very serious as the cancer has spread to her bone marrow and bones. She is four, slightly older than my Joy.

Charmaine's medical treatment will cost a lot of money. About half a million dollars as an upfront deposit to send her to New York for treatment.

If you can help, please do. You can contact her mother, Cynthia, at www.ourfeistyprincess.com

You can also contact Charmaine's god mother at ourfeistyprincess [at] gmail.com.

mrbrown at NDP 2009: fondling a Leopard tank

Ryan and I are running around the Marina Floating Platform and witnessing the first combined rehearsal of the NDP. This is months of hard work at a local level, being tried out on location for the first time.

I chanced upon these Leopard tanks parked along the street. Hmmm. What were they there for?

Tell you guys soon. Haha!

mrbrown at NDP 2009: Presidential Gun Salute

I meet the men behind the Presidential Gun Salute, men from Artillery and Engineers. Yes you heard right, the Combat Engineers are involved this year.

MP: Singaporeans wait 15 minutes for bus also complain, not like grateful immigrants

From the Straits Times: "Helping foreigners fit in"

With his trademark grin, [MP Charles Chong] added: "When you ask Singaporean residents for feedback, they will complain that they have to wait more than 15 minutes for the bus. But when you ask new immigrants, they are happy that the bus comes in under 30 minutes."

MP Charles Chong quipped this little quip when he was talking about integrating new immigrants from India, China, the Philippines and Myanmar in his ward of Pasir Ris-Punggol GRC.

I think he has a point! Why set such high standards for our public transport?

You ungrateful Singaporean residents! Don't ask for buses and trains to come more frequently! Adjust your expectations! Be grateful like foreigners who come from countries with poorer infrastructure!

That is the path to true happiness.

Vote "Mr Brown" as a word in Pictionary Singapore Edition!

Got this in my email today:

"It has come to our attention that your blog has been identified by Singaporeans as 'Uniquely Singaporean' and submitted as a word to the Pictionary Singapore Edition Board Game by Mattel.

In the event that 'Mr Brown' gets voted as one of the top 300 words on http://pictionary.sg, it will be featured in the Singaporean Edition of Pictionary.

The 'Mr Brown' blog has long been synonymous with Singapore and is fast gaining popularity as a uniquely Singaporean icon. As regular readers of your blog, it is our hope to see Mr. Brown as one of the words in the pack."

Wah, want to be a word in a game also must get people to vote ah. So I log into Facebook and vote lor. Wait I lose to the current top word, "Bubble Tea" (WTH!)

You can also follow Pictionary on Twitter at @pictionarysg

I currently have more votes than PAP but less votes than Lee Kuan Yew.

You know what to do lah. Go to pictionary.sg now.

me in 8 Days magazine

I was interviewed Twitter-style for 8 Days, the Mediacorp entertainment magazine that features movies and their tv listings.

They got my mrbrown name spelling correct (one word, all lowercase) but got my offline name wrong. Er, "Lee Kin Mun" lah. Not "Lee Kinmun". LOL!

And I didn't work in advertising lah. I worked in the profitable part of the agency business, the direct marketing and interactive arm.

My favourite question and answer in the piece was this:

Q: In 2006, you were rapped by the government for your column in Today newspaper, and the column was suspended. Are you scared of the gahmen now?

A: No lah. Gahmen is kind and loving one. Where got scared? Hey isn't your company the same one that suspended my column?

the mrbrown show: no place for number 3

We have to help Changi get their throne back! Go to mrbrownshow.com!

Have you choped your Facebook name yet?

It's been 10 hours since Facebook opened the floodgates of its custom username url registration. In case you forgot, here's a reminder to pop over to www.facebook.com/username and chope your own facebook url.

I can almost hear a few "Oh shit, I forgot!" out there.

Do bear in mind, your choice is PERMANENT. That means you cannot change it, so don't do anything rash like register some nonsense name because you were angry that your name was taken. It is yours FOR LIFE and deleting your account will not place that name back into the pool.

I feel like I am signing some birth certificate in blood. Now Facebook owns me completely, dammit.

Chope early or you may end up with the Hotmail situation and be forced to call yourself Jane1984sg or something lame.

Ben 10 marries Barbie

Isaac and Joy have a place where they are allowed to stick their stickers — a cupboard in their room. I don't know who gives them the sheets of stickers. Sometimes it is my mom, sometimes the maids. They have their own halves of the sticker wall; the left belongs to Isaac, and the right is for Joy. It is not a pretty sight, the sticker-infested cupboard doors.

A few mornings ago, Joy kept singing a silly song she made up, about Ben 10 marrying Barbie. This made Isaac upset and he kept saying, "No! Ben 10 cannot marry Barbie!"

This just egged Joy further. Making her 5-year-old older brother upset seemed to give her inspiration. The more Isaac objected, the more she would declare the union of Barbie and Ben 10.

To up the ante, she skipped over to the sticker wall and violated her brother's personal space by placing her giant Barbie sticker right next to his favourite giant Ben 10 sticker.

I think my 3-year-old crossed the line with this one. Isaac burst into tears at this travesty and reached out with his hand of righteous indignation, to try to peel the Barbie sticker off. I decided to intervene before this became an international incident.

"Isaac, first of all, stop crying. You are a big boy and shouldn't cry over something silly like this."

His crying became short sobs.

"And Joy," I said to the grinning rascal, "stop bugging your brother with your Barbie and put her back on your side of the door."

She did as I asked and then, curious, I turned to Isaac and asked, "Anyway, what's wrong with Barbie marrying Ben 10, Isaac? They look quite nice together what."

"No, cannot. Barbie is not a Ben 10. She has no powers."

So it was not because my son was against the institution of marriage per se. He was just against the union of human and superhuman.

That just opens a whole other can of worms about inter-... er, species discrimination but I decided that was a discussion for another day.

It is always important to respect a child's idea of what should be in his world and what is out of bounds. I totally understood his concerns.

I, for one, would never let Barbie marry one of my Clone Troopers. They are the elite soldiers of the Republic, after all, while she does not even have Jedi powers.

the mrbrown show: termination salvation

Come with him if you want to live! Get saved at mrbrownshow.com!

Doored

You'd think that riding along the road next to Paya Lebar MRT station, the most dangerous things a bicyclist will face are buses.

But the buses are actually quite careful around cyclists like me. And I don't squeeze between buses and their bus stops either.

No, the most dangerous kind of vehicle near Paya Lebar MRT station are cars pulling in near the bus stop and dropping off passengers.

In my case it was a mother driving a black MPV dropping off her kid.

Number 1: You are NOT supposed to drop people off so near a bus stop. Especially a bus stop without a bus bay.

Number 2: Teach your child to LOOK before opening the left door. Or any door of the car, for that matter.

Good thing I was alert, or I would have ridden into the opening door. But because I had to jam my brakes, I flew over my handlebars and onto the road.

The son apologised profusely and the lady did ask a few times if I was ok and even asked how I would like to settle this. I was in too much of a daze to say anything beyond "Be careful next time you open the door!"

I cleaned up with some wet tissue and rode back to the office.

After I got in to the office, the adrenaline that numbed a little of the pain was gone and I started to feel the full extent of the cuts and road rash. Surveying the damage, I found:

1. Road rash on my palms.

2. Scraped knee (saved by my denim bermudas but the shorts now has blood and holes Good thing it is thick and covers my knees).

3. Sprained right shoulder and sprained left knee.

4. Saddle burn on my right inner thigh (this happened when my right inner thigh hit against the bicycle saddle as I lurched forward from the emergency braking). This one REALLY hurt. I am walking funny now.

5. And most painful of all, my bicycle fork seems to be out of alignment.

I'm going to go out and see if Uncle can straighten my ride. Then it's off to the pharmacy to get a big bandage for that saddle burn in the thigh.

People, please please please, LOOK before you open the door. We cyclists are out there on the road with you too.

mrbrown at NDP 2009: Wushu!

Our third video takes a look at the wushu contingent performing at the National Day Parade this year. I visited the rehearsals and found out how old some of the these performers are.

Forummer's father says mrbrown ought to get a proper job

A Twitter friend sent me this link to a forum thread that cracked me up:

"I show my father the Wondergirls spoof by Mr Brown, my father tell me don't waste my time listen to Mr Brown show podcast this kind of nonsense, he say these ppl is wasting their time instead of get a proper job and feed their family. My father very strict one...he look down on people like Mr Brown and Collin Goh who waste time doing boliao things...say they already so old liao still so boliao....make funny spoof cannot feed family...cannot go against govt...."

That's gotta hurt. LOL.

PES C2 not enough! Got PES V or not?

Image: My PES C platoon in the olde days

Mr Ong, a father, writes in complain his son kena PES C2/L2 even though his doctors recommended no jumping, running or sun for his boy.

I ever heard of "excuse grass" and even "excuse uniform". But this is the first time I heard of "EXCUSE SUN".

That may mean a new category, PES V (for Vampire).

While I appreciate the father's concern for his son's health, I think many NSF will give their right arm to be PES C2/L2. Oh wait, one less arm would mean at least a PES E.

There are many ways to avoid the heat, I feel.

How about full-time night training? And how does permanent overnight guard duty sound? Or he can be assigned to guard the underground ammo caves of SAF.

And maybe to make it even safer for his son, everyone else can book out during the day, he will book out at night.

Better make it 2350. That is when the weather is coolest. Then book in by 2359.

The ST letter:

"The number of deaths in the armed forces recently is a cause for worry. I am concerned how a full-time national serviceman (NSF) is medically graded fit for combat or other activities. My son has a long track record of medical problems, ranging from sports injuries to skin diseases and others. His medical specialists recommended no jumping, running or sun (to avoid the heat). However, he was graded under a physical employment status (PES) of C2/L2. The NS Portal website states that an individual with PES C2/L2 can bear arms and operate in the field. My son was called up for Basic Military Training (October intake). This clearly contradicts what his medical specialists recommended. I have sent my feedback on my son's case via the NS Portal website. The Ministry of Defence should look into the medical grading system before more incidents occur."

mrbrown at NDP 2009: Drumfest!

Our second in a series of video vignettes taking a behind-the-scenes look at Singapore's National Day Parade 2009.

I spoke to the percussion band that will be performing that day.

Made up of the best percussionists and drummers from all over Singapore, the more-than-200-strong Drumfest contingent will be providing da rhythm at the NDP this year.

I tried a little percussion at their rehearsal myself. Let's just say, I should not give up my day job.

the mrbrown show: my name is kim

Everyone's favourite nutjob dictator is just misunderstood. He has a dream and he is sharing it at mrbrownshow.com!