mrbrown.com

Oh, the Places You'll Go!

Education Minister Heng Swee Kiat: "On my children’s first days at school, when I saw all their new schoolmates, chattering with excitement, I felt a strong sense of promise. I thought, they will learn many new things, they will discover their strengths and passions, and they can reach for their dreams."

Me on my son's first day of school: "Don't poopoo in your pants, ok?"

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't
Because, sometimes, you won't.

The best botanic gardens in the world

Nothing better than spending a quiet afternoon with the family at the best botanic gardens in the world, on the first day of the year.

Special thanks to Rachel, Leah and friends, young ladies who were at the Botanic Gardens on their own group outing, for helping us fly our cheapo kite, and for letting my kids fly their huge awesome ladybird kite soaring high up in the sky (they took an hour to get their ladybird kite up in the air, with lots of running).

2014, Day 1, 2 a.m.

I spent the early hours of the new year sitting at the dining table, sharing an ice cold beer with the wife, chatting and laughing with her, mostly about our kids, who were already fast asleep.

Already a good start to 2014.

the mrbrown show: Kim Huat Goes Underground

Youtube link: http://mrbrwn.co/1lwqkJU

Kim Huat shares his feelings about driving on the latest and most expensive expressway in Singapore.

100,000

I just crossed 100,000 followers on Twitter. That's really nice and humbling to witness. Thanks for the support all these years, folks!

It's an awesome milestone to cross on the very last day of 2013. Here's to more fun together in the coming days!

Marina Coastal Expressway: Many Cars Entrapped

I hope all of you who drove through the super-expensive Marina Coastal Expressway (MCE) enjoyed your view of the tunnel walls.

The Marina Congested Expressway has now given everyone a chance to be stuck in a jam 25m under the sea, as hapless drivers get confused coming in from the ECP and Benjamin Sheares bridge only to find no through roads to the AYE.

Hey, it's the most expensive expressway we've ever built so it must be good, right?

Maybe a little more money spent in public education and awareness would've helped prevent this mornings traffic chaos, methinks.

Day 2 of the MCE: The above image is the cab fare of one commuter from Bishan to Marina Bay Financial Centre after the taxi driver got lost three times.

I think for that money, you could fly to KL already. And in less time.

Personally, I think MCE is so named because after you drove on it today, tomorrow you will take MC.

Anyway, what makes you think the MCE was meant to ease your traffic woes, dear driver?

It was built to reclaim prime CBD land for further development. Your driving experience is secondary. Now it is even HARDER to drive from the ECP to AYE. Fun times.

[image via @todayonline]

The Ten-year Appliance Death Pact

This year alone, our washing machine died, our aircon died, our fridge died, and just now, the wife texted me: our living room tv also died.

My household appliances must have made a death pact to go together. As my brother said, "It's like a Tim Burton movie in the making."

Then my friend, Deb, said, "You wait till the furniture starts to die."

Which reminds me, the sofa just got replaced a few months ago too. And Joy's bed collapsed…

To be fair, the aircon, fridge and washing machine were ten years old. And really, it was time to replace them for more power-efficient models anyway. And the sofa was even older, more than ten years.

But why have to all die in the same year? The appliances and furniture think I printing money like the US gahmen ah?

As I stood in the electronics store, I stared at the selection of 3D "Smart" LED TVs on sale and wondered, "Where are the 2D Stupid LED TVs with awesome screens and enough HDMI ports?"

Nair mind, I must be content and thankful that I still have my health. Wait, this year, I needed treatment for a slipped disc, and also had a colonoscopy and an eye exam…

I am the Gadget Santa Claus

Me: "It was a pain to set up but with the new Blu-ray player, I can finally screen higher-resolution versions of the movies the kids like to watch."

Wife: "Er… ok."

Me: "I lost you there, right?"

Wife: "Ya. But I'm sure it's a good thing you're doing for them."

Fathers show their love for their kids in different ways, I suppose.

You know, Santa would have a really hard time delivering presents in our chimney-less HDB flats. Maybe he will use the rubbish chute. Also, Santa will probably die of heat stroke flying through our heat and humidity in his red wooly jacket.

We tried to get some zhichar dinner but WLE!

Today is the day many people didn't go out, I think, but didn't want to cook. Which explains the full HDB car parks and crowded kopitiams.

The zhichar stall really "Ho! Ho! Ho!" seh liao lor.

Kopi Auntie Logic

Kopi Auntie: "Sorry your drink took so long ah. Anyway your drink is cold one, not so urgent.

Other people ordered hot drink and have to rush to work."

-_- ?

Blessed Christmas from the browns!

Video link: http://mrbrwn.co/19lVlk2

May you be rocking around your Christmas tree too! Happy holidays!

(More silly elf dancing from us here: http://mrbrwn.co/1l9owXg)

Downtown Line Stage 1 sets new record

[image via Zack Zainal]

On the first day of operations, the Downtime, er, Downtown Line broke down (it was called a "temporary disruption"), thereby setting a new record in breaking down. Fortunately, it was a free ride day (free till Jan 1 2014).

There is no evidence that the Downtown Line was unhappy with its working conditions when it broke down on Day 1.

Oddly, when PM took a ride on the line on Saturday, it was working fine. Perhaps PM needs to take our trains more often, so that the trains don't break down for the rest of us.

[image via MCI]

As my friend WK pointed out, perhaps this disruption only proves that the Downtown Line was not designed to operate for free.

Fare hike again?

Meanwhile in the buay paiseh department…

(I suspect this news placement is deliberate heheh!)

Life in 140 characters or less

As Christmas rolls around, tis the season of looking at your Facebook feed and wishing you were in all the countries your friends are posting vacation photos from.

But it's also nice to have breakfast at the neighbourhood hawker centre with the Wife on a cool December weekday morning.

As we tucked into our breakfast of nasi lenak, dough fritters and "butterfly" dipped in coffee, and fishball mee, the Wife, looking at her Twitter feed, said, "You really tweet a lot."

"You only follow me mah. And I like sharing links and stuff," I replied, a little defensively.

Said the Wife, with a smile, "You have no life."

#sob

Then a cool breeze blew into the wet market and I smelled my kopi-c and Yew Char Kuay, and remembered I was having breakfast with the Wife on cool December weekday morning, just days from Christmas.

Then I thought to myself, if this is No Life, I'll have seconds please.

Bubblegum Generation

My kids: "McD bubblegum flavour ice cream!"

Me: "I tried liao."

Kids: "How does it taste, Papa?"

Me: "Like bubblegum lor. But you kids have never tasted that before."

My home theatre set up with the SONOS system

In my last SONOS post, I talked about using the SONOS system to play music all over my home. Today, I'm going to share some of my experiences using the SONOS wireless speaker system as a home theatre.

My big screen TV in the living room doesn't have great sound (hey, tiny speakers inside the TV, what to do?), so I wanted to see if adding the SONOS Playbar would help.

With nine speakers inside, the Playbar really made my TV sound good. The Playbar connected to my TV with an optical cable and the only other cable was the power cord. The Playbar also wirelessly and painlessly became part of my SONOS speaker network.

By itself, the Playbar already had very decent TV sound. You may be able to get better separation with a left and right speaker setup but this one-piece solution works fine and can be wall-mounted or placed on a console, taking up very little space. It also looks quite sleek.

My next experiment was to add the SONOS Sub to the mix. Woah, what a difference. Suddenly my Playbar with the Sub was a 3:1 system (Left-Centre-Right and Subwoofer). I could place the Sub anywhere in the living room, as long as it was near a power socket, because the Sub talks to the Playbar wirelessly too.

Then I took two Play:3s and set them up behind my sofa. Instant 5:1 home system! I was in surround heaven as I played back some of my movies on my Apple TV. You can get 5:1 surround even with HD channels on your cable box, as long as the show is broadcast in 5:1 surround.

Again, the Play:3s as left and right rear speakers were easy to set up because they are wireless but just make sure you are near a power socket. I used the SONOS app to add and set up all the home theatre stuff very easily. The app even help me optimize the system based on how near or far my speakers were from the viewing area.

Another really neat feature was how the app helped to pair my TV's remote control to the Playbar. I then disabled the TV speakers from my TV setup, and the TV remote now controls the volume of the Playbar instead.

During the times the Play:3s were not used as rear speakers for the home theatre system, I moved them to the bedrooms to be used there. It was nice to have dual-duty wireless speakers. The Play:1s can also be used as rear speakers.

If you have a TV that doesn't have enough HDMI ports, and you own multiple devices, like a PS4, Xbox One, Blu-ray player, Cable Set-top box, and an Apple TV, you can solve the problem with an HDMI port switcher. My Monoprice one has four HDMI inputs and one HDMI out (to the TV), and an optical Toslink output (to the Playbar). This lets you connect all your devices without needed a big AV receiver.

You can place the Playbar lying down or standing up but I found the sound to be better when the Playbar was standing on its thin end.

One caveat with the Playbar as a home theatre system: it currently supports Dolby Digital 5:1 and not DTS or Dolby TrueHD. But my Apple TV, Netflix, and cable tv provider broadcasts in Dolby Digital 5:1 anyway, and many of the movies I own support both DTS and Dolby Digital 5:1.

My kids are now used to hearing the sound quality coming out of the TV via the Playbar and the rest of the SONOS system in the living room (and the wife plays music out of them too). I am not sure if I can unhook the Playbar after this review without some kind of revolt now.

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Sponsored message:

You can win yourself a SONOS Playbar! Contest details at the SONOS SE Asia Facebook fanpage: http://mrbrwn.co/SONOSmb4 (Link works from desktop browsers only, not mobile)

Contest ends on the 31st of December, 2013. Go join now and win that Playbar!

Update: The winner is Christina Lim Peck Hwee! Congrats!

I find your lack of faith… disturbing

What an exciting saga it is!

MDA vs Bertha Henson vs Cherian George vs The Real Singapore (who believe "Bertha Henson is just a government mouthpiece to facilitate the government to clamp down the real alternative medias out there." Correction: it was said by a Melanie Tan, a TRS reader. I stand corrected -mb)

Miyagi told me the whole thing is more complicated than a Trade Federation plot.

Indeed when it all started, it was Star Wars: A New Hope.

Then The MDA Strikes Back.

Then The Return of the Cherian.

Then The Henson Menace.

Then Attack of the TRS Clones

Then Revenge of the Shift-ing Goalposts.

In the end, Darth MDA wants you to know, They Are Your Father.

Beautiful

There is a scene in the animated movie, The Wiggles: Space Dancing, where visiting aliens, the Zeezaps, befriend a herd of cows and practise their English on them by saying, "How do you do? We come as friends. You have beautiful eyes."

It is one of Faith's favorite DVDs and she has watched it a gazillion times.

Today, while the movie was playing, she jumped on me (she is quite heavy now, my 12-year-old autistic daughter!) and hugged me, saying "ew tee fooo".

A rare word from her. I'm not sure if we will hear it again from her but still…

Beautiful.

MDA to the Breakfast Network: All your internetz are belong to us

And so the Breakfast Network farce continues, as MDA announces that the site cannot operate on Facebook and Twitter too:

"As socio-political news site Breakfast Network has decided not to register with the Media Development Authority (MDA), the company must cease online services including its Facebook page and Twitter feeds, the regulator said on Friday in a media statement."

Here is a Top Ten List of other things I foresee the MDA won't allow the Breakfast Network to do:

1. MDA says Breakfast Network cannot even have a Whatsapp group chat.

2. MDA says Breakfast Network cannot talk and have breakfast in a coffee shop.

3. MDA says Breakfast Network cannot take taxi and talk to taxi drivers about socio-political issues.

4. MDA says Breakfast Network cannot use Friendster or MySpace, even though no one does, already.

5. MDA says Breakfast Network cannot post emo F*ckyeah Breakfast photos on Tumblr.

6. MDA says Breakfast Network cannot share socio-political sunset photos on Instagram.

7. MDA says Breakfast Network ask others to play Candy Crush or ask for lives.

8. MDA says Breakfast Network cannot send self-erasing sexy socio-political photos of themselves on Snapchat.

9. MDA says Breakfast Network cannot make funny 6-second stop-motion socio-political videos on Vine.

10. MDA says Breakfast Network cannot use IRC Chat or MSN Messenger.

Update: Another Top Ten List of other things I foresee the MDA won't allow the Breakfast Network to do:

11. MDA says Breakfast Network will not be allowed to sell or consume virtual alcohol.

12. MDA says Breakfast Network XMM ish notch allowed to GPGT and pruss wan in HWZ EDMW Forum.

13. MDA says Breakfast Network will not be allowed to use stickers in Facebook Messenger. Or Emoji even.

14. MDA says Breakfast Network will not be allowed to use hashtags. Or even the hash key on the phone.

15. MDA says Breakfast Network will not be allowed to jio others to play DOTA 2 with them.

16. MDA says Breakfast Network can't has cheezburger.

17. MDA says Breakfast Network will not be allowed to drive faster than 50kmh on the Information Superhighway.

18. MDA says Breakfast Network will not be allowed to share the MDA Rap music video on YouTube.

19. MDA says Breakfast Network will not be allowed to upvote any Reddit post.

20. MDA says Breakfast Network will not be allowed to guess who is the Little India Riot hero, unlike the mainstream media, who have the licence to.

[photo via]

See How

Your kids: "Can we buy/visit something-or-other?"

You: "See how."

Your kids' interpretation: "Yay! Papa said Yes!"

Hope reigns supreme im the selective memories of my children.

Five Word Tech Horrors

Some fun stuff from the hashtag #FiveWordTechHorrors on Twitter:

1. @mrbrown: Hard drive *click click click* #FiveWordTechHorrors

2. @mrbrown: "Use the Singapore Airlines website." #FiveWordTechHorrors

3. @mrbrown: "Saw your photo on STOMP." #FiveWordTechHorrors

4. @weilien: Please download Microsoft Silverlight here. #FiverWordTechHorrors

5. @MAMA_UMBRIDGE: Please sign in with Google+ #FiveWordTechHorrors

6. @mrbrown: "Red LOS light is blinking." #FiveWordTechHorrors

7. @mrbrown: “User Acceptance Testing? No time.” #FiveWordTechHorrors

8. @mrbrown: “Bypass Staging, update Production server.” #FiveWordTechHorrors

9. @PGD_X: Internet Explorer has stopped working #FiveWordTechHorrors

10. @rasuanta: "Click to skip this ad" #FiveWordTechHorrors

11. @mrbrown: “Adobe Flash plugin has crashed.” #FiveWordTechHorrors

12. @2ngaw: Your Time Machine Restore Failed. #FiveWordTechHorrors

13. @mrbrown: “You have a backup, right?” #FiveWordTechHorrors

14. @mrbrown: “Please submit tender via Gebiz.” #FiveWordTechHorrors

15. @mrbrown: “20% of battery remaining: Dismiss” #FiveWordTechHorrors

16. @2ngaw: Invited you to play BubbleWitchSaga #FiveWordTechHorrors

17. @mrbrown: Zynga bought this game company. #FiverWordTechHorrors

18. @2ngaw: Your iCloud Storage is Full. #FiveWordTechHorrors

19. @anildash: An iTunes update is available. #FiveWordTechHorrors

20. @rasuanta "Task Manager is not responding" #FiveWordTechHorrors

21. @mrbrown: OS X rainbow spinning wheel. #FiveWordTechHorrors

22. @mrbrown: "The Real Singapore reposted you." #FiveWordTechHorrors

23. @MKCorndog: PowerPoint presentation on a Mac #FiveWordTechHorrors

24. @TwitterAU: Content Unavailable In Your Region! #FiveWordTechHorrors

25. @2ngaw: OSX’s White Screen of Death #FiveWordTechHorrors

26. @700VOLVO: We Are Using Windows 8 #FiverWordTechHorrors

27. @jaimescarter: "iPhone accessory is not recognized." #FiverWordTechHorrors

28. @mrbrown: “Configuring Windows updates 0% complete.” #FiverWordTechHorrors

29. @mrbrown: Your password must be alphanumeric… #FiverWordTechHorrors

30. @mrbrown: “Our office only allows IE.” #FiveWordTechHorrors

31. @mrbrown: "MDA: Please license your website." #FiveWordTechHorrors

[Image via]