mrbrown.com

No one cares about your pay cuts if you don't solve their problems

The Ministerial Pay Cut Committee has announced its results. It will be a 36% pay cut for PM, and a 37% cut for entry-level ministers proposed. The President's salary will be cut by 51%. Also no more pensions:

http://mrbrwn.co/zNv6VD

According to Yahoo Singapore, with the suggested cuts, an entry-level minister annual pay will be $1.1 million. PM's salary to be $2.2 million, and the President's will be cut to $1.54m.

Somewhere out there, S R Nathan may be laughing secretly at Tony Tan. And Tony Tan may be asking "Why Am I Here?"

S R Nathan's next book is rumoured to be "Heng, I Was There Earlier".

When presidential hopeful, Tan Kin Lian, said he'd donate 50% of the presidential salary to charity if he won, folks laughed at him.

Now Tony Tan's presidential salary is 51% less, after the Ministerial Pay Cut Committee wielded their blade. Gua gua.

Since salaries vary for entry-level ministers & senior ministers, I propose a new ranking system: Level 1 Paladin Minister to Level 99 Warlock Minister.

If you overcome the level bosses of overpriced housing, MRT disruptions and increasing cost of living, you will unlock achievement bonuses.

Like that more fun what.

I notice that ministerial salaries are still be pegged to the Top 1000 earners of Singapore. Why not the lowest 1000 earners? You help the poorest, you make more.

With the proposed ministerial paycuts, our leaders have gone from obscenely well-paid to damn well-paid.

Poor things.

This must be the longish period of slow growth Minister Lim Hng Kiang was talking about. Tough times. Who will raise their plight in the media?

Here's a thought:

No one cares about your pay cuts if you don't solve their problems. Just sayin'.

eNets goes down for 11 hours… because domain name not renewed

Citizens couldn't pay for government services online for 11 hours because Network for Electronic Transfers Singapore (Nets), did not renew their domain name, eNets.sg, on time.

That is epic fail for a company that handles epayments. How hard is it to keep track of your URL expiry anyway? Domain name registrars send out reminders to renew fairly early, you know.

And to complete the incompetence, a check reveals that the geniuses renewed their domain name but only for ONE. YEAR.

Registrar: IP MIRROR PTE LTD Registrant: NETWORK FOR ELECTRONIC TRANSFERS (SINGAPORE) PTE LTD

Domain Name: ENETS.SG
Creation Date: 03-Jan-2005 12:00:00
Expiration Date: 03-Jan-2013 00:00:00
Domain Status: OK

One year?! Are you guys planning to be around in the epayments business next year? Are domain names so expensive that you can only afford a one-year renewal (which you might forget to renew again)?

If an epayments company cannot keep track of a simple thing like a domain name, I shudder to trust them with the integrity of my online payments.

HWZ forummer looking for Photoshop pro for simple editing of his pics, offers $4 to $6.50

This was seen in HWZ:

_MaOMaO_ wrote:

Looking for Photoshop pro for simple editing [Offering you $6.50]
Hi Anyone pro in photoshop?

Help me to do a nice photoshop edit of my pic and I will pay you $4 for editing pict 2 or $6.50 for editing all 3 pics. Payment thru I-banking (dbs/posb).

I will only choose either the fastest or best edit.

Anyone up for it? I need it in about 3hrs + time.

These were the photos he wanted edited:

This is of course, generally a bad idea. Because before long, the Photoshop "Pros" came out to play. Challenge Accepted:

The nice thing is, the OP was a really sporting chap about it all:

_MaOMaO_ wrote:

HAHAHA~ I love some of the edited pics. Great job lol !

Btw, I dont mind you guys editing the pics. After-all, its clean-fun and its the new year.

Happy new year to all !

Ministers show up where most don't expect to find them… doing their jobs

From ST: Do-it-yourself ministers gaining notice

In recent months, a few ministers have turned up unannounced at places where most would not expect to find them.

Transport Minister Lui Tuck Yew went to MRT stations and rode the trains. Acting Minister for Community Development, Youth and Sports Chan Chun Sing dropped in on homes for the destitute and disabled.

Erm, isn't a Transport Minister EXPECTED to go to MRT stations and ride the trains on their own?

What's next? Minister of Information actually reads a newspaper?

Some Singapore-style Motivational Tweets for 2012

1. Your pay is the same but you will work an extra day in 2012.

2. You may think you are drowning in a flood of despair, but PUB wants you to know it's only a pond of inconvenience.

3. The Mayan end-of-the-world will probably happen just after you receive your 13th month bonus but before you can spend it.

4. Embrace your hopes and dreams as firmly as cable ties hold our SMRT subway train power claws.

5. Just because you failed many times doesn't mean you need to quit. Especially if you're the SMRT CEO.

6. You can score 60.14% at the exam and still get 81 out of 87 of the scholarship places.

7. When you need get somewhere fast, find Comfort in a fare hike.

the mrbrown show: the breakdown

Breakdown? No worries! Got committee looking into it already at mrbrownshow.com!

Play "the mrbrown show: the breakdown"

Different birds, different gahmen department

Crows? Call NEA.
Pigeons? Call AVA.
Mynahs? Both say not their problem.
Bloody 鸟 excuses.

We need a Ministry of Birds then. Then we can activate the 鸟人。

不同的鸟说不同的“鸟话”。

CNA: Who's in charge of bird nuisance?:

Birds continue to be a source of problem in areas of dense population in Singapore but as Channel NewsAsia finds out, it's been a challenge pinning down the relevant authorities in charge of the problem.

Crows come under the purview of the National Environment Agency (NEA) while the Agri-Food & Veterinary Authority of Singapore (AVA) handles complaints of nuisance with pigeons.

But it gets a little complicated when it comes to mynahs.

When Channel NewsAsia visited a coffee shop at Bishan Street 11, mynahs were seen picking at leftovers.

Stall holders said the number of mynahs in their coffee shop has more than doubled in the past two years.

And when they approached the NEA and AVA, both agencies said they are not in charge of handling the birds.

Both the NEA and AVA confirmed this with Channel NewsAsia.

The Bible according to the PUB

Genesis 7:7 (PUB)

[7] And Noah & his sons & his wife & his sons’ wives entered the ark to escape the waters of the pond.

Whole island submerged then can call it "Flood"

The PUB is pleased to announce that Singapore did not flood yesterday. It merely encountered some "ponding".

In some places, it was just puddling.

I suppose anything below chin level isn't flooding. Because, you know, flooding implies our drainage systems were not adequate.

(Photo from Alan Seah's FB)

Dear iPhone autocorrect…

1. When I type "issit", I don't want "issue".
2. When I type "lah", I don't want "lag".
3. When I type "liddat", I don't want "Linda".
4. When I type "simi", I don't want "sumo".
5. When I type "knn", I don't want "Lynn".
6. When I type "nochet", I don't want "no get".
7. When I type "wahpiang", I don't want "warping".
8. When I type "gabra", I don't want "garbage".
9. When I type "alamak", I don't want "Akamai".
10. When I type "paiseh", I don't want "pauses".
11. When I type "humchee", I don't want "hunched".
12. When I type "shiok", I don't want "shook".
13. When I type "suay", I don't want "dust".
14. When I type "kancheong", I don't want "Kanchenjunga".
15. When I type "similan", I don't want "similar".

Koalas leh!

JIALAT! JIALAT! JIALAT! Not KOALAS!!!

mrbrown goes to Nirwana Gardens, Bintan

Youtube link: http://mrbrwn.co/uUhNUb

I have been wanting to go on a short holiday break and when DEAL.com.sg suggested I try Bintan, with WOW Experience (www.wowexperience.sg/) I said, sure!

So with a few buddies of mine, we made the 45-minute ferry ride to Nirwana Gardens resort for a day of cool stuff like Laserclay and Combat Skirmish.

We spent two days there and I can honestly say we had lots of fun. Five blokes together, talking cock and eating a lot, was part of the vacation appeal.

DEAL.com.sg has some pretty neat deals going on, especially with travel, which is their specialty.

You can go to their site to check out the travel deals.

I think I will go again. Even if it is just to soak in the pool. Haha!

[Music: Kevin MacLeod]

the mrbrown show: a clarification about the SMRT breakdown

MP for Ang Mo Kio, Mr Sing Harn Tong, clarifies what he said about the MRT breakdowns on TV.

Youtube link: http://mrbrwn.co/t5JwdK

There is always one iPhone cover you regretted buying

I feel the iPhone case industry depends on us making poor design decisions after we get our new iPhones. In the heat of the moment, while high on getting our latest iPhones, we can make the most disastrous iPhone case choices.

My drawer is littered with bad first cases. Cases that failed the quality test (paint rubbing off), cases that failed the aesthetics test (looked good in the shop display window but looked terrible on a white iPhone), cases that failed the practicality test (made of leather, then came into contact with a wet coffeeshop table, leather bloated up).

It wouldn't be so bad if one bought a cheapo $10 case and threw it away in disgust, but some of these cases are $49.90 and up. Very heart pain.

Next time, I plan to wait at least a week before buying one. Or face derision and laughter from my design-savvy colleagues.

Here are some wacky cases I have seen:

Unagi iPhone cover from Strapya, Japan.

Treehugger's DIY Cardboard "Recession" iPhone case

Earonic iPhone case by CollabCubed

Literally, a HAND-phone iPhone cover from Strapya, Japan.

Michelle Chong is… Already Famous

Met up with Michelle Chong (yes THAT Michelle Chong) for a chat recently and talked about her movie, Already Famous. Do go and watch it if you can. It is still screening at the theatres.

It is having a good run in Singapore and I think it is really brave of Michelle to take seven months no-pay leave to embark on this. The movie crossed a million dollars after 11 days.

My wife's faith in SMRT is shaken. I told her to secure it with cable ties.

After SMRT found dislodged "claws" that hold up the third rail supplying electricity to the trains, they turned to Mustafa Shopping Centre head of security's favourite tool, the plastic CABLE TIE. [image via]

YouTube link: http://mrbrwn.co/rPvb9I

I use cable ties to secure my bicycle lights & they STILL fall off due to road vibrations. But if SMRT thinks it'll work for their steel claws, who am I to question their expertise?

As my friend Lucian said, "Cable ties are the new duct tape."

Another friend, Ivan, quipped, "They should have at least used velcro… that way you can hear when it comes out."

Let the Kim Jong Un memes begin!

Official pic of N. Korea new leader Kim Jong Un

There are reports of massive (real or faked) mourning in North Korea over Kim Jong Il's death but the reaction from this North Korean who defected to the US was somewhat different…

Meanwhile, I will miss photos of Kim Jong Il looking at things. It is gonna get ronery without him.

The Other Kim

The Wife: "North Korea's Kim Jong Two died."

Me: "Kim Jong Who?"

Wife: "Kim Jong Two."

Me: "Kim Jong EEL lah."

And he will be replaced by Kim Jong Three, his favorite son.

When your subway breaks down three times in one week, it's not a bug, it's a feature

Reminder: NS and EW lines only start operating after 10am today.

After the third disruption on Saturday, lasting seven hours, SMRT is taking their trains through a health check on Sunday. There will be shuttle buses operating this morning till the trains begin running again.

In case you are wondering why there is no reminder tweet from the official SMRT Twitter account this lovely Sunday morning, my guess is because their Twitter account has opening hours. That's right, their Twitter account has Saturdays, Sundays and Public Holidays off.

Meanwhile, on Twitter, people have started to make up new acronyms for SMRT:

1. Sorry Must Repair Trains
2. Saturday Macham Repeat of Thursday
3. Sometimes Must Ride Taxi

Ouch.

The Great SMRT Cockup of 2011

Update: The NS line went down again on Saturday morning. For SEVEN hours. Good grief.

Where do I even begin?

Just a day after the Circle Line fiasco on the morning of Wednesday, Dec 14, 2011, the SMRT outdid themselves with the chaos on Thursday 15 December 2011, probably its worst breakdown in its 24 years of running trains.

Many commuters sat in darkness in trains stalled in the tunnels; some commuters had to walk the tunnel tracks in darkness to get out; and a window was smashed with a fire extinguisher to let the air into the stuffy train carriage.

And a friend heard this ACTUAL MRT announcement: "Due to a slight delay, there will be delay."

Brilliant.

I will just let the photos do the talking (taken from various Facebook sources, if the shot is yours, please let me know and I will credit you).

SMRT's latest power-saving scheme: The Manual Air-con.

The SMRT's latest route: the Scenic Route Line. Zombies not included in ticket price.

SMRT informs their cab drivers of an "income opportunity"… a breakdown in their own MRT train services from Bishan MRT to Marina Bay MRT stretch of stations.

SMRT did get around to apologizing for the taxi message.

An SMRT spokesman said on Thursday night: "We are sorry for the oversight. Our staff were using a template message, and we have since corrected it."

Frankly, I think SMRT needs to relook their template messages for everything, not just that taxi one.

Meanwhile, the spin has begun: "ST: Passengers not worried despite Thursday's MRT breakdown"

Sure, interview those who were NOT on the affected trains to ask if they were worried.

Over at Yahoo, more than 1000 angry comments were found at the column "Train disruptions unacceptable and unforgivable".

And where was our Transport Minister in the midst of this chaos? Minister Lui Tuck Yew was in Cambodia for the 17TH ASEAN Transport Ministers' Meeting in Phnom Penh.

Oh the irony.

(Don't worry, he just said he will ask "LTA to assemble a team of relevant experts, including possibly relevant overseas experts to help us in this review". Wow, a whole team. That's reassuring. Too bad the team wasn't assembled BEFORE the chaos, eh?)

NEWSFLASH! They caught the real MRT window breaker:

(Image from Adrian Wee's Facebook page)

the mrbrown show: limpeh not happy

The infamous Aaron Tan is not the only one with a love rival.

Limpeh also buay song.

Youtube link: http://mrbrwn.co/tHIHFH