mrbrown: L'infantile terrible of Singapore

Random fun stuff for a slow Thursday

Newsflash: There is swearing in the army. This just in, NS boys are also trained to kill people.

ST Forums: Horrified by many profanities in matinee show on NS life:

"As a mother, I find it hard to imagine that after years of sheltered school life where students are taught values, to be gentlemanly and polite and respect their elders, these boys have to do NS run by officers who do not blink an eye when they curse their mother, sister, girlfriend and the whole female population by way of conversation. My boys were shocked to realise that NS is a rite of passage where they will be officially subjected to bullying, shouting and cursing - nothing gentlemanly at all. If this is a light-hearted look at life of NS boys during basic military training, I fear to know what my boys will face in their real-life situation when they enlist. Please, someone, assure me this is not so."

Quick! Revoke that breast-baring scholar's scholarship or we will lose the pure and holy applicants! Naked people don't deserve an education! At the very least demote her from A*Star scholar to D*Star scholar, dammit!

Today Online: An inevitable precedent?

"I was surprised and shocked that Eng Kai Er, the A*Star scholarship holder who was convicted and fined in court for public nudity, has been allowed to keep her study grant. I think this reflects badly on A*Star as an institution which is retaining a scholar who has committed a highly gross and disturbing act in full public view. ... A few junior college students whom I am currently mentoring have said that they are re-considering their intentions to apply for A*Star scholarships for fear that they would be associated with an institution which seemingly tolerates and accepts deviant behaviour among its elite scholars."

We [heart] Lionel.

Today Online: LUP shows the Govt is magnanimous, Letter from Lionel De Souza:

The Lift Upgrading Programme (LUP) in the two Opposition-held wards of Potong Pasir and Hougang speaks volumes of the PAP's magnanimity and impartiality to the electorates who voted against them in past General Elections. ... But to the minority whose hobby is to gripe and blame, they should reflect upon what the Government has done and continues to do for them. I am sure that the majority of Singaporeans are politically mature enough to see the good that the Government has done. Thus, I am confident that the majority of Singaporeans will know who to cast their votes for in the next General Election.

Russian IT company called Merlion reveals that Singaporeans still worship the Merlion to this day:

When Merlion saw an enemy, its eyes would lit up with red fire and burn the foe to ashes. Never ever has Merlion missed the danger. And one day, when the country was menaced by a terrible storm, the majestic creature came out of the sea and saved humans from inevitable peril, and the country - from inevitable destruction. People of Singapore still worship Merlion. To commemorate their savior, they have built the 37 meters high stone sculpture of the lion-fish.

Dahon Curve SL special offer

Remember the 16-inch Dahon Curve SL bicycle I rode on so many of my trips? Well you can get one for S$1599 instead of the usual S$1850 if you can answer a simple question related to the bike and my travels at Speedmatrix or its dealers (like Song Seng Chan, my fave bike shop at Joo Chiat). The offer price lasts till the end of the Great Singapore Sale so hurry.

This is one of my favourite folding bikes ridden overseas so far. It's light, has a 9-speed Shimano Capreo system and folds up really small.

And no, I get nothing for this mention. Just thought I'd share this cool promotion with you and because I love this bike.

NMP Siew Kum Hong does not get second term

I am sorry if the conspiracy theorist in me kicks in when I read that Nominated Member of Parliament Siew Kum Hong did not get a second term.

Some say that it was because of his involvement in the AWARE saga. Others say he pissed off some religious groups with his support of repealing 377A. Some other folk even suggested that he may have spoken too much and asked too many uncomfortable questions.

Personally I feel it could it be his lack of hair.

Dude, look at Eunice Olsen! She is gorgeous, intelligent, AND has long tresses! No wonder she had two terms as NMP and you didn't get reselected lah!

Must be the Gahmen see the shine on your head as very glaring and a possible danger to others in parliament! Wait other MPs get blinded by your pate and cannot make any speeches or ask hard questions, then you know!

Anyway, thanks for two-and-a-half years of intelligent debate in parliament. You were the best MP we never had.

ANA Merlion commercial

Update: This is a clearer version with subtitles, courtesy of reader "Browned".

Original Youtube version here.

When you want the total Singapore experience, I suppose you have to come to Singapore.

Funny as heck.

(Anyone can do fansubs for the video and translate?)

The Vendor Client relationship, in real world situations

Too good not to share. The only thing missing is the line, "Think of the exposure/traffic we can bring you."

Random fun stuff for a slow Thursday

Living with first-person shooter disease:

Robo-Geisha (NSFW but ridiculous to the point of absurdity):

Transformers 2 FAQ! (Don't read if you dowan spoilers):

Q: What is the status of the Transformers at the beginning of the film?
A: The Autobots have joined the military to hunt down the Decepticons. We're told the Decepticons are "doing things," but they appear to be hiding peacefully when the Autobots show up and brutally murder them.

A bunch of money-faces. Literally. See the rest here:

Singapore Burger King ad shocks some American audiences. BK USA says that ad not our ad but is franchisee ad. Taichi time! Read more here:

Help this fiesty princess who has cancer

Charmaine has neuroblastoma, a form of cancer and is at her 4th stage of chemo now. Her condition is very serious as the cancer has spread to her bone marrow and bones. She is four, slightly older than my Joy.

Charmaine's medical treatment will cost a lot of money. About half a million dollars as an upfront deposit to send her to New York for treatment.

If you can help, please do. You can contact her mother, Cynthia, at www.ourfeistyprincess.com

You can also contact Charmaine's god mother at ourfeistyprincess [at] gmail.com.

MP: Singaporeans wait 15 minutes for bus also complain, not like grateful immigrants

From the Straits Times: "Helping foreigners fit in"

With his trademark grin, [MP Charles Chong] added: "When you ask Singaporean residents for feedback, they will complain that they have to wait more than 15 minutes for the bus. But when you ask new immigrants, they are happy that the bus comes in under 30 minutes."

MP Charles Chong quipped this little quip when he was talking about integrating new immigrants from India, China, the Philippines and Myanmar in his ward of Pasir Ris-Punggol GRC.

I think he has a point! Why set such high standards for our public transport?

You ungrateful Singaporean residents! Don't ask for buses and trains to come more frequently! Adjust your expectations! Be grateful like foreigners who come from countries with poorer infrastructure!

That is the path to true happiness.

Vote "Mr Brown" as a word in Pictionary Singapore Edition!

Got this in my email today:

"It has come to our attention that your blog has been identified by Singaporeans as 'Uniquely Singaporean' and submitted as a word to the Pictionary Singapore Edition Board Game by Mattel.

In the event that 'Mr Brown' gets voted as one of the top 300 words on http://pictionary.sg, it will be featured in the Singaporean Edition of Pictionary.

The 'Mr Brown' blog has long been synonymous with Singapore and is fast gaining popularity as a uniquely Singaporean icon. As regular readers of your blog, it is our hope to see Mr. Brown as one of the words in the pack."

Wah, want to be a word in a game also must get people to vote ah. So I log into Facebook and vote lor. Wait I lose to the current top word, "Bubble Tea" (WTH!)

You can also follow Pictionary on Twitter at @pictionarysg

I currently have more votes than PAP but less votes than Lee Kuan Yew.

You know what to do lah. Go to pictionary.sg now.

Have you choped your Facebook name yet?

It's been 10 hours since Facebook opened the floodgates of its custom username url registration. In case you forgot, here's a reminder to pop over to www.facebook.com/username and chope your own facebook url.

I can almost hear a few "Oh shit, I forgot!" out there.

Do bear in mind, your choice is PERMANENT. That means you cannot change it, so don't do anything rash like register some nonsense name because you were angry that your name was taken. It is yours FOR LIFE and deleting your account will not place that name back into the pool.

I feel like I am signing some birth certificate in blood. Now Facebook owns me completely, dammit.

Chope early or you may end up with the Hotmail situation and be forced to call yourself Jane1984sg or something lame.

Forummer's father says mrbrown ought to get a proper job

A Twitter friend sent me this link to a forum thread that cracked me up:

"I show my father the Wondergirls spoof by Mr Brown, my father tell me don't waste my time listen to Mr Brown show podcast this kind of nonsense, he say these ppl is wasting their time instead of get a proper job and feed their family. My father very strict one...he look down on people like Mr Brown and Collin Goh who waste time doing boliao things...say they already so old liao still so boliao....make funny spoof cannot feed family...cannot go against govt...."

That's gotta hurt. LOL.

Upturn the Downturn song sung by NTUC

This song was sung by Labour Chief Lim Swee Say and directors at an NTUC event (NTUC is our pro-business and at the same time, pro-worker union, one of the 7 Wonders of the Modern World).

After extensive watching and rewatching of this epic video (I took one for the team), I think the lyrics of the NTUC song go something like this:

Upturn the Downturn

In this downturn, workers may feel sad
When its upturn, we will all be glad
Go for help and e2i
Or call union hotline
Cut costs save jobs good for Singapore
With some help from SPUR and also Jobs Credit
U Care Fund and all our SEs
For U, from U
Let us stand in pride and unity
We are pro-workers oi oi
We are pro-business oi oi
Upturn the downturn.

I loved the bit at 1:14 where Josephine Teo held her hands up for a High Ten, and er...

CIBAI! The latest trending topic on Twitter!

Update: We have someone from Microsoft clarifying the CIBAI thing. Verdayne Nunis says:

"Ok, Ok...Now that everyone has had some fun at Microsoft's expense, here's the official explanation. CIBAI stands for “Class Invariants By Abstract Interpretation”. It's not a Microsoft app or product but the title of an academic paper by a researcher prior to joining Microsoft. Microsoft allows our researchers to post their past papers on our site, to enable the public to search across these researchers’ entire body of prior work. However, it does not represent work that has been done or is currently being done at Microsoft. It was unintentional but we will look into removing the acronym from our website shortly."


Singaporean tweeters discovered that one of the top topics on Twitter was... CIBAI.

No really, I kid you not.

It is the name of a Microsoft app, an "abstract interpretation-based static analyzer for modular analysis and verification of Java classes".

Of course, how can the Singaporean twitter community pass up the opportunity to contribute to the discussion? Here are some of our Tweets on CIBAI.

@mrbrown: Dear USA tweeters. Let Singapore teach you the real #cibai. CIBAI is actually a warm Asian greeting. Try it the next time you meet someone!

@ruiwen: Wondering if #microsoft's #cibai has support for plugins

@micketymoc: @mrbrown you're so right! last time i tried to greet someone CIBAI, he gave me a hand signal that suggested I was number one!

@lennel: Hello tech support? my copy of #cibai not working. Can you perform finger and see if you can detect it?

@mizhalle My friend just said: My CIBAI got virus!!

@joshlim: Digg my 'cibai' can? http://bit.ly/lv2nA

@Wolfgang_: I would like to mount my hard drive and then fire up #cibai on my lap...

And so on and so forth. Proving once more "that the Twittersphere has the collective maturity of a twelve-year-old". Heck, someone even UNFOLLOWED people for this cibai thing.

Hey, anyone remembers Google's Gbuy?

Give us back our NextBus app!

Someone made a BETTER version of SBS Transit's iris bus arrival web app called Nextbus, and now it seems the app cannot continue because it looks like SBS is blocking the app from making connections to its servers.

SBS Transit! Dun liddat leh! Nextbus was so good and useful, and we could see all the bus arrival times of a bus stop at one glance. Did you block ah?

Ride of Silence 2009

There is a cycling event on the 20th of May, that will happen in many cities, including Singapore:

"The Ride of Silence (rideofsilence.org) was created in honor of those who have been injured or killed while cycling on public roadways.

The ride of Silence is also a way for us, cyclists, to raise cycling safety awareness in Singapore."

Ride of Silence Singapore
Venue: Merlion Park
Date: 20 May at 7pm
Dress in white, and wear your helmet

The ride will be 19Km, slow paced, and going through the following places: Merlion Park, City Hall, China Town, Holland Village, Orchard, Dhoby Ghaut and finish at Merlion Park. (The route is pending Police approval)

You can join the Facebook group for more info.

Otterman has the newspaper interview at his site.

Public Service Announcement: H1N1-2009 Flu Advisory (or how to siam pig flu)

In case you've been caught up with the AWARE saga and missed out on other less important news, like swine flu, I thought it would be useful to mention this flu advisory from the gahmen.

Full disclosure: I was not paid to mention this but I know someone inside gahmen who politely asked if I could spread the word on Influenza A (H1N1) aka Swine Flu aka Pig Flu. I suspect it is because some of you don't partake of mainstream media (I don't blame you, frankly). Anyway I am just doing this as a private citizen.

Some of the precautions are pretty basic, like BE CLEAN. I know that sounds inane, but I know many of you go toilet never wash hands one. I have hung around toilets watching and counting you non-hand-washers before, you cannot fool me.

If you haven't learned to wash your hands frequently, now is probably a good time to start. Also, wash your hands after doing stuff that involve bodily secretions. No, not that one. I mean coughing and sneezing. But washing your hands after the former is probably a good idea too.

It is also wise to avoid crowded places but I know that is a little hard in crowded Singapore (my wife and I chose to watch X-men Origins: Wolverine on a weeknight for this reason).

And avoid traveling to affected places, like Mexico, unless absolutely necessary.

I know the Mexican Ambassador is already buay song that our gahmen is requiring temporary visa requirements for Mexico passport holders visiting the country but hey, it's swine flu, so cannot play play.

Incidentally, my mom was at our family doctor yesterday and almost everyone looked like a ninja in there, with surgical masks on. So I guess Singaporeans are taking some precautions. Do see a doctor if you have the symptoms.

For more info, go to www.flu.gov.sg.

(photo via. The cute kid is apparently Lukas, son of Flickr member jeremias11)

Sometimes, your dream job eludes you

From TODAY online, Manpower Minister Gan Kim Yong was quoted:

For instance, Mr Gan revealed his “dream job” had been to teach, but the closest he got to it was as Minister of State for Education.

Poor thing, Mr Manpower Minister. Want to be teacher, but only end up as Minister.

AWARE AGM: kena caught unawares

Update: My friend said "cat fight" was sexist so I changed the title because I scared of her. LOL.


Interesting take on the Association of Women for Action and Research AGM where the old guard was voted out of office and replaced with a bunch of newbies.

Excerpt from Today in Singapore:

The coup at Dover Crescent centre, where the Association of Women for Action and Research (AWARE) held its annual general meeting on March 28, was flawlessly executed with military precision. Instead of the usual turnout of 30 or 40, a record 102 showed up, 80 of which were new members who had just joined between January and March. Out numbered and out gunned, the old guard was unceremonioulsy chucked out, including the vice president veteran of 15 years who was ignominiously defeated by newbie Charlotte Wong Hock Soon.

Former President Dana Lam said it was hard not to imagine the takeover was not a planned effort: “It could not be a pure coincidence.”

Older members tried to ask if the newcomers shared AWARE’s vision and values, including equality for all regardless of race, religion or sexuality. Mimicking the stonewalling tactics of Mindef (Allan Ooi’s unfortunate demise) and NTU (David Widjaja’s disputed termination), the newcomers flatly refused to elaborate on their plans for AWARE. The only clue came from newcomer Angela Thiang, who told the floor that questions about the new office bearers’ religion and their stand on homosexuality were not relevant.

Other posts on this:

Ovidia Yu's blog: The Borg take over AWARE at AGM

ST: Unknowns knock out veterans at Aware polls

Ashke's blog: Fundies in Singapore take over Women’s Group

Yawning Bread: From now on, be wary of AWARE

BBC asks PM Lee: "Are you worth all that money?"

The BBC interviewed PM Lee recently (listen here) and the local press reported on it. (e.g. TODAY and ST)

Other people noticed this too.

Transcript of the final question in the BBC interview (via TOC):

BBC: “Finally, Prime Minister, I read that you are apparently the highest paid head of government in the world. Your salary is about four or five times what President Obama gets. Are you worth all that money?”

PM Lee laughed and said: “I am not comparing myself and I don’t look at these rankings.We go on a system which is open, honest, transparent – what is the job worth, what is the quality of the person whom you want. We need the best people for the job and these are jobs where you make decisions which are worth billions of dollars. And you cannot do that if you are pretending and you just say, ‘Well, we are all in it for the love of King and Country’. We want it to be honest, we want people not to come in for the money. But at the same time the sacrifice cannot be too great. And at times like these, you want the best possible government you can have.”

Maybe the question not that important lah, like that CDC 8-month bonus thing.

Besides, why omit that last question on his salary? Singaporeans are all very happy and pleased at what our leaders are paid what. And we all understand the need to pay top dollar for top talent what.

CDC Bonus Fiasco Part 2: The missing forum threads

I didn't believe it at first when someone commented that SPH's AsiaOne forums had locked and deleted a lively thread discussing the Northwest CDC 8-month bonus issue. I mean, yes I can see the news articles disappearing from ST and CNA, but forum threads too?

This forum post entitled "Northwest CDC 8-month Bonus" was started at 3.36pm on Thursday, 19 March on AsiaOne forums, that's yesterday.

This is what the forum post said:

As of last night, there were two pages of comments on this thread but if you went back this morning, with this URL, http://forums.asiaone.com/showthread.php?t=226046, you got nothing.

Then this morning, there is already a third thread started on the AsiaOne forum, entitled "CDCs giving out 8 month bonuses?", and people are wondering when it will be deleted.

Oh wait. It's already gone. That was even faster.

So SPH, why ah? Dowan people to discuss the CDC 8-months bonus topic ah? Or read anything about it ah?