mrbrown: L'infantile terrible of Singapore

TODAY Reader Mail: The autism columns

Subject: Hello

Dear Mr Brown

I have read your articles dated 26-11-04, 3 & 10 Dec 2004 regarding autistic children.

I have a 8 yr old son, having a mild autistic problem. I know the pain that you and your wife had gone through because I also have (always) very painful time with my son.

I have a lot of unhappiness, 'complaints' about my son but my friends don't understand my problems. I write to you just want to let you and your wife know: Don't give up, be HAPPY!  (i am sad that no one say that to me)(...2nd thought, only my younger son 5yr old childcare centre's principle say that to me).

well, hope to read your articles regarding your girl growth development.

regards
bw

TODAY Reader Mail: Excuse me, your cup doth runneth over

my bf loves reading ur articles n as usual, he showed me this link. as u said u do not research on bras n u suggested the pump-me-up bra. as it is, this ""miracle"" bra has been sold in ck tangs years back. ;)

i was ""insulted"" many years back when the promoter suddenly ""pounced"" on me n enthustiastically showed me how i cud benefit from this amazing and revolutionary bra....

n juz fyi, it originates from korea.... ;)

akerue
January 28 2005

TODAY Reader Mail: Life is getting scary, Mummy...

Subject: Thank you Mr Brown

Dear Mr Brown

You are the highlight of my Friday every week!  I enjoy reading your weekly article very much and yes, again, I thoroughly enjoyed today's piece.  As usual, it's hilarious and it never fails to crack me up.

I've always wanted to write to you to thank you for sharing with us readers your refreshing take in life and your sense of humor (which is very much lacking in our society).  But I somehow did not manage to find time to do so.  I am very happy and glad that I am writing this note to you now.  Thank you and keep writing.  My Friday is not complete without an accidental word from Mr Brown.

I am so glad to have met your acquaintance, Mr Accidental Author and I look forward to our meeting every Friday.


Jan Lim
February 18, 2005

TODAY Reader Mail: Feeling marginalised in own country

I enjoyed reading mr brown's "Life is getting scary, Mummy" (Feb 18).

It was very funny. But the underlying issue — the "threat" posed by foreign talents — is not.

As a parent of two teenaged children, I am not particularly bothered if my children do not top their class, losing out to a foreign talent. Neither would I be upset if they lost, say, their badminton match to another foreign talent.

However, I am concerned if they are denied access to a good school or university. I fear that this is already the case in Singapore.

When the Government announced it would set up a Conservatory of Music at the National University of Singapore (now known as the Yong Siew Toh Conservatory of Music), I was very pleased.

My thought then was that Singapore would finally have its own conservatory offering formal music education at tertiary level.

This would enable local students less academically inclined, but with a passion for music, to pursue their interest.

Later, I read a report about the make-up of the first student intake. I noticed a significant percentage were foreigners.

I can appreciate the need to attract the best talent into Singapore. I can also appreciate the argument that entry into the Conservatory is by merit. However, it is disturbing if Singaporeans are denied entry in the process.

It is fine if our children have many conservatories in Singapore to choose from. But we have only one and its intake is small.

I consider myself a patriotic Singaporean. However, I can't help feeling that sometimes, as a Singaporean, I am marginalised, all in the name of attracting the best talent.

I now wait to see how the proposed Arts School will shape up — and if foreign talents make up the bulk of its students.

Haslinda Shamsudin

Reader response to "Massive earthquake: our holiday can get refund or not"

Here's a reader's view on my previous post on the holiday refund response from some Singaporeans.


From Kate:

Subject: in response to :" Massive earthquake: our holiday can get refund or not"

Dear Mr Lee,

Kindly also refer also to
Sri Lanka struggles to distribute aid (ST)

and also
Indonesia struggles to bury dead (CNN)

The intelligent and responsible way to help is not to throw money at the problem at hand, but to work with authorities to coordinate efforts. It has been reported that S'pore is also sending military personnel, who will lend their planning expertise to the operation. I'm sure that is important as well. There are reports of helpers who have fled from scenes of destruction, and someone needs to make sure the right people are sent to the appropriate places. Right now there are many areas which need the money and food, etc. Surely sometime is needed for this kind of logistics planning?

I think it is the quality of the help that is important, not just the dollar amount. S'poreans have also been very generous as citizens, and we are all trying to help as much as we can. Afterall, these are our neighbours, and our country has close links that go way back with all these countries. Rest assured that more money will be contributed to the sites that need them, after the needs have been ascertained. It's not just S'pore that is ascertaining the situation, the US is as well.

I hope that you can provide balanced reporting of S'poreans' reactions, and not just the handful of people who complained about refunds. You might as well base your perception of ALL westerners on the couple which is planning to conduct their wedding on Phuket, alongside the funerals which will take place. Sounds unfair? Then please do not judge Singapore based on a few examples of callousness.

Sincerely,

Kate

Relaxing Down Under reader email

A letter to TODAY on the column, Roughing it Down Under

Subject: Mr Brown - Relaxing Down Under

Dear Mr Brown,

Yes, PCs are more expensive Down Under. You can  get state-of-the-art ones from Sim Lim Square at a fraction of the cost. But what surprises people is that my home computers are newer & faster than the one my husband uses in office & he's in the IT line. Perhaps, if you are prepared to pay more at privately run internet cafes in the city fringe, you could get speedier internet access.

You don't get much Singapore news - mainly Australia, US and sometimes China, Indonesia. Our tiny tropical island occasionally catches Aussie attention only when Singapore leaders made remarks which Australians take offence or when Mr HL Lee took over the premiership. The only means of getting connected with Singapore is via excerpts of news update in asiaone.com or todayonline.com and belated hard copy Straits Times.

Cars are cheap. Even Japanese imports are affordable at about half the price sold in Singapore. Of course, being a pragmatic Singaporean, I chose to buy a Toyota assembled in Melbourne. You get the latest Japanese design & technology at a much lower price.

Nevertheless, driving is not a breeze, made worse by heavy traffic fines.

My strong suspicion shared by many Aussies & Singaporean friends, is that traffic police have this sadistic streak - they go all out to chalk up traffic fines to score points. Some things are universal like raising revenue for the state supposedly to pay the better welfare & public services. The authorities also argue it's a means of deterring "dangerous" drivers who exceed the 60 km/hr limit on major roads by a mere 5 km/hr.

It's a challenge trying to alter your speed from 70 km/hr on an expressway & brake suddenly when entering into a school zone of strictly 40 km/hr during certain times of the day. Yes, look out for speed signs & check your watch while driving to be safe driver!

Singapore fried noodles (bee hoon fried with curry powder!), Hokkien fried rice (rice hor fun style), laksa in thin curry flavoured gravy without polygonum leaves, are all concoctions of Chinese/Asian chefs (not Singaporean I hope) in western countries. Incidentally, my Thai friend who owns a restaurant in Canada offers Singapore fried noodles on the menu too.

The wildly changing weather is a topic of serious discussion or small talk.

We talk about the weather all the time. For every change in season entails changing the wardrobe, linen, garden landscape, electrical appliances, etc. It makes life more interesting.

For most Singaporeans, being close to nature & wildlife may be a nuisance rather than an enjoyment. The chirping & sights of colourful birds, smell of roses and lavendar in your own garden could be marred by the destructive work of cockatoos & possums. We have learnt to live with nature & deal with it in our stride.

Shopping centres don't just cater for the elderly and disabled people. For the able-bodied keen shoppers, there are lots of sofas & benches to rest your feet. Don't expect to see these in Orchard Road or even town centre shopping centres as evey inch of space counts & would be rented out as kiosks to aspiring entrepreneurs.

However, do not despair. There are many things we take for granted in Singapore such as speedy efficiency & convenient public transport that are often a rarity Down Under. Singapore is trying to close some of the gaps by introducing policies conducive for family & a better lifestyle. Hopefully these are sustainable & get better each year. Meanwhile, sit back & relax.


Regards,
C

Pencil Marks email

Subject: RE: PENCIL MARKS ON THE WALL

Hi Mr Brown,

Just want to let you know that I am very touched by this article.

Do keep me update on the development of Faith through your regular contribution. I look forward to the day that she can reach the next milestone charted for her.

Thank you.

Rgds,
"S"
A mother of two boys aged 5 and 4

Reader Mail: Department stores should not play profane, raunchy songs

Department stores should not play profane, raunchy songs

Thank you, mr brown, for your article, "Poetry with swear words" (Oct 22). It gives me the opportunity to raise an issue that has been troubling me.

I do think there should be a body that can assert control over the profane and raunchy music being played publicly in department stores and other public areas, where shoppers are assaulted by a barrage of expletives while trying to pick out a gift for a child's birthday or toiletries for the family.

Stores should have some respect for shoppers who may not share their liberal views on music. I have had to leave a store because of the foul lyrics coming over the PA system and have written in to complain.

Yet, I find such vulgar music becoming the norm in many shops, especially smaller outlets.

I hope the larger, more reputable stores will look into the music they play, so that we need not worry about the music's impact on teenagers and young children who patronise these outlets.

I have become so paranoid about all this rap and hip-hop music, that I was overwrought when I heard a similar noise coming from my son's room recently — only to discover, with much relief, that it was only a funny ditty about a toothbrush!

Jerusha Devan

Reader Mail: Is it time to adopt Singapore Fried Noodles?

Is it time to adopt S'pore fried noodles?

I must agree with mr brown's profound discovery of "Singapore fried noodles" while in Australia.

I, too, have spotted "Singapore fried noodles" in the United States and the United Kingdom.

I was confused when I stopped to ask for directions in Northolt, UK, and a young lad who helped me said: "My most-loved food is Singapore fried noodles, do you like it too?"

I didn't know what to say — it felt foolish to admit I'd never heard of it.

How, and where, did "Singapore fried noodles" originate? Maybe if we adopt the recipe, it'll save us the humiliation when abroad of not knowing our "own" dish.

Giving the excuse that it is not a Singaporean dish would be odd, for it is a favourite in many countries…

Tracy Breneman

A reader leaves Singapore

A very nice letter to TODAY from Cecile, a foreigner leaving Singapore. Getting letters like this one always make my day, and reminds me of the reason I write.

Excerpt:

I would like to mention that I have been very satisfied with your newspaper: interesting articles on both Singapore and the outside world. Starting my day before going to the office with TODAY and a good cup of coffee was rewarding.

I loved reading the letters' section: I don't always agree with TODAY's readers, but it certainly is an eye opener on Singapore  Please pass on my congratulations to your contributors: I enjoy reading Neil Humphreys' column. As for Rohit Brij nath, I always skip the sports pages in any newspaper; but believe it or not, he succeeded in interesting me into reading detailed account of cricket or golf tournaments (actual sports I never watched in my life, less even played), thanks to his excellent writing skills.

But I must admit that Mr Brown is my favourite: his great sense of humour combined with his human sensitivity makes me crave for your Friday edition. I hope little Faith will one day grow into  a beautiful young lady, finding her place in a society which is not always kind to different people. I am lucky to have two 'normal' young kids and I hope to educate them to accept others' differences.

Finally, I would like to thank the delivery boy who comes every morning at 5.30am. Must not be easy to get up so early, just to make sure I have TODAY in time for my cup of coffee.

A letter to Mr Brown regarding his Orange Fish

A very special email from a reader, I thought of sharing with all of you. Beautifully capturing my feelings on the matter.
(reprinted with permission)

-------------

Dear Mr Brown,

I read your commentary in this morning's edition of Today of the 'plight' of your Orange Fish.

Let me share with you a similar incident I experience with my own little star.

I decided to enrol Lucas, my 7-year-old son who has autism, in the Very Special Arts camp held in June this year. At the end of the 3-day camp, the various groups put up performances in the concert. As Lucas' group spilled onto stage to begin their dance, Lucas, who is fascinated by the stage lights & speakers, immediately went to the front centre of the stage and started laughing and clapping. Every parent on the floor was of course looking out for their child and they began waving and cheering. My politician-to-be little boy immediately waved back at all of them.

He took centrestage literally, as the rest of his group mates danced behind and around him. Kind of reminded me of the old Indian movies where the actors danced around the trees.

I'm sure that many of the other parents there that day would not remember him by now, as being parents that we are, we search for our own little stars, often paying very little attention to the others around. But to me, Lucas was THE STAR - my star.

Lucas attends a regular day care centre in the mornings before going to special school in the afternoon, and has been there for the past 4 years. This year will be his last. He progresses year-on-year with his classmates, so while academically, he is at nursery level, officially, he is in Kindergarten 2. His classmates are younger than him by an average of 2 years.

Each year, the centre puts up its year-end concert. Each year, I get emotionally overwhelmed when I watch him on stage. One year, he was a carrot. On another, he became a stingray. I wonder what he will be this year. His classmates would have been 'tasked' beforehand to make sure he keeps up with the group.

On a daily basis, I have witnessed the care and assistance many of his friends at day care have extended to Lucas. The principal and teachers at Milk & Honey have done a fabulous job in instilling the value of respect in their pupils. I'm hopeful that they will grow up with the right attitude towards people with special needs and spread it to the other people they come into contact with.

So perhaps it's not about a CD-Rom or a website or any other detached forms of 'learning', but opportunities to interact with these exceptional people. In their own way, they can teach many things that a school syllabus or a textbook can't.

As for Faith, I think she is more than just a sweet little girl in a fish costume. As a 'fish out of the water', she has the incredible ability to survive in uncertain (and often unkind) environments.

Let's see if the rest can do as well as people like Lucas and Faith.

Yours sincerely
Sharon Lee

From the Mailbag 7 Apr 2004

From Tan KH

Nice to read Browntown again

Hey there Didn't think Browntown was still alive! Didn't check-in for like 2-3 years man. Nice to see that you've responsibly procreated. Congrats! Browntown is one of the earliest blogs that I can remember.

Warm regards

From the Mailbag 22 Mar 2004

On the TODAY column, Responsible Breeding

From Ivan

Hello Mr Brown.

Nice work on the column and the site. You might be interested to know that perhaps the PAP may be reading up on Ceausescu’s policies in communist Romania.
Best regards, ~Ivan

From the Mailbag 1 March 2004

From BH

Have not read your site for a while. SNE 95 is a gem!

Bloody shame you came in second in the 2003 awards man. I actually read the blog of the first place winner xiaxue, and the only reason I can think of that you lost was a fan mail base of teenagers who took a liking to her picture.

Sure she was 'open' with her commentary about blowjobs and anal sex, but not nearly as funny as the social commentary you do.

Keep it up man, 'old' geezers like me still supporting you.

Rgds,

BH

From the Mailbag 11 Feb 2004

From Tony M. Brown

That's pretty wild that your site was banned by the Ministry of Education. Gotta love Internet censorship!

From the Mailbag 3 Feb 2004

From Ack Vert (Again)

SNE

Hey You latest SNE (Feb 3) is super lame man. Hardly funny at all. And do you really think that your website was blocked by MOE? Please, don't flatter yourself. Any idiot can see that the screen shot you posted on the website looks so fake. Try harder next time..

The screenshot is real, I assure you. It was taken by someone who had to be taught how to print-screen, and who would not know how to doctor an image even if his life depended on it. I did not mess with it either (except to reduce it from the original 3.1mb bmp file to its current smaller jpeg form), because there would be no point. Anyone would have verified its authenticity very easily by trying to access the site from within the MOE network himself.

Oh, I will certainly continue to strive to be less lame in future. Thank you for your constructive feedback. -brown

From the Mailbag 30 Jan 2004

Emails on my Ministry of Education Ban

From Eric

Congrats !

First up, let me just tell you that I had the greatest scare reading in Today that you site was firewalled. Went quickly to check if it was indeed true and was damn relieved (though I felt a little cheated) that I could still access it ! Hah! By banning your site, those idiots at MOE have just made you a HERO ! WAy To GO !!!!

Talkingcock cannot fight with Browntown lar. maybe MOE didn't consider them a threat, that's why never ban. hahaha.

again, WAY TO GO ! steady lar, mr brown.

From the Mailbag 26 Dec 2003

From Pierre

have you been on mtv??

From the Mailbag 18 Dec 2003

From Mr T

Dear Mr. Lee,

I have just come across your website and I find it filled with objectionable thrash, things that I would term as "intellectual pornography". The views that you espouse are views that are parochial and clearly, not much thought went into them. Your persistent and often unfounded criticism of the Singapore government is unwarranted and perhaps reflects your level of maturity (or rather, immaturity). As a member of the esteemed Rafflesian family who is destined to assume stewardship of society, I implore you to stop writing this nonsense that is BrownTown. You are now a father of two children and surely, you must have some sense of responsibility. The written word is a powerful tool. Use it wisely.

That is all for now. I hope that you heed my advice and change for the better. I shall be more than happy to assist you in writing socially responsible articles should you wish to seek my help.

Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts, USA

From the Mailbag 9 Dec 2003

From Ack Vert

Hey MrBrown,

Hey, you must be a bloody wanker. You haven't been updating your website regularly you asshole! You think just because you have that column in Today/Streats (whatever crap tabloid you write for), you are now a hotshot writer. Please don't forget your roots ok. It's the readers like us that made you well known by recommending your site to our friends.

P.S. Your latest 2 SNEs were pretty lame. You can do better than that.

(I think he meant SNE 91 and 92 -brown)