It is 9.30pm here in Austria and I just finished watching the Apple Event where the iPhone 6, 6 Plus, Apple Pay and Apple Watch was launched. It is one of the benefits of being in an Apple-Event-friendly timezone.
But I can't say I "watched' because I TRIED to watch the livestream, only to be annoyed by a simulcast audio of a Chinese translator talking during the stream (which you could not turn off) and more importantly, the livestream hanged on my iPad Air's Safari.
I mean, who was running the livestream? Interns?
In the end, I had to read Engadget's live blog.
Dear Apple, if your ability to keep my Apple Pay wallet safe is as good as your livestream for this event, I'll stick to my analogue wallet.
Anyway, this Apple Pay thing is US-only. By the time we get it here in Singapore, we will call it 超级Pay.
Tim Cook tells us that the iPhone 6 and 6 Plus will have equal to or better battery life than iPhone 5S. Er, that's not a high bar to beat, sir.
What else will we get?
Phase Detect AF and OIS? Nice. Thinner than the iPhone 5S? Awesome. Some kind of super strong glass in front? Yay.
Heavier than the iPhone 5S by 70g? What are you doing, Apple?!
With the 4.7 inch and 5.5 inch screens now a reality, Apple users will no longer be beat up by Android users and have sand kicked in our faces. We will just have sand kicked in our faces.
Anyway, I was more interested in the One More Thing. So much so that when Tim Cook said "One more thing", my livestream went offline again. Much swearing ensued.
The Apple Watch questions swirled in my head. Will it be able to make phone calls with its own SIM? Will it come in Rollex Gold? (Towkays, Ah Bengs and China need to know!) Will it be able to monitor my favorite sporting activity, Sitting Around Doing Nothing?
The answers are: No, it needs an accompanying iPhone (because Tim Cook says they were made to work together blah blah blah). Yes, kind of, there is an 18K gold version called the Apple Watch Edition. And finally, No, there is no iNuah app out yet.
The Apple Watch will sell for $349. That's in US dollars. For that money, the Apple Watch had better let me remote tazer the guy who steals my iPhone.
I am a little annoyed. I mean, come one, Apple. Even Samsung Gear S can hold a nano-sim and make calls without a phone connected to it. See? You made me use the S word.
I may be sticking to my first-gen Apple Watch for a while. This is my iPod nano with LunaTik straps. It isn't waterproof and doesn't make Apple Pay payments, but it has a headphone jack.
And before I forget, let us have a moment of silence for iPhone 5S cases as they are sacrificed on the altar of obsolescence for iPhone 6 and 6 Plus cases.
Now to decide on the iPhone 6 or 6 Plus. Big or bigger? Decisions, decisions.