Singapore National Education Part 4
I have also learned lately:
1. That the Malaysian PM says our people are uncultured because we pee in lifts, but Malaysian toilets are icons of cultural superiority.
2. That our Govt wants us to be must be free from materialistic tendencies but yet respond accordingly to the Upgrading Carrot and to Financial Disincentives for road use.
3. That it is wise to force couples into early marriages by waving a $5000-Penalty Stick when it is cheaper to register now and divorce later when things don't work out.
4. That it is not impossible that in the near future, there will be a COE for the CTE.
5. That it is not impossible that in the near future, _only_ couples who are married, paid the $5000 deposit and _get pregnant_ with their _second child_ before July 12th are allowed to apply for flats, so as to deter, ahem, "frivolous" applications.
6. That it is possible to marry 26,000 couples before the 12th of July without any social, logistical or parking problems.
7. That SORRY is the hardest thing for a politician to say, especially if you can't decide what you're apologising for.
8. That we really want to read another volume of Singapore Ghost Stories.
9. That we really want to read "MORE Chicken Soup for the Chihuahua-rearing Prepubescent Soul".
10. That a 15-year-old _really_ needs a handphone.
11. That a 15-year-old's parent _really_ thinks his child needs a handphone.
12. That if you love your child, buy him a handphone and set him free; if he was meant to be yours, he will call back if he goes out past 2am, on a weeknight.
13. That our parents these days are so busy, they don't know where their kids are and need to buy them handphones.
14. That a handphone makes a 15-year-old look more mature and hip.
15. That according to a Mr Lau, if we do not buy a handphone for our teens, they will carry Ecstasy pills instead.
16. That we do not need to spend time with our children, we just need to get them handphones to stay in touch.
17. That our nation will one day be run by kids who need handphones at 15 to look cool.
18. That, according to Tan Sai Siong (ST 16 June 1997 Monday, Pg 29), young couples ought to have at least $5000 sitting around, for contingencies such as unforeseen, sudden, knee-jerk policies from the HDB.
19. That, according to Tan Sai Siong, young couples have nothing else to save for except the $5000 deposit for the HDB. Nope, they do not have any excuse for not having $5000 to pay the deposit, since they have had _ample_ time to save. I mean, what else does a young couple need to save for anyways? Nope, not the wedding dinner, not the honeymoon, not the bridal package.
20. That, according to Tan Sai Siong, if young couples do not even have $5000 for the HDB _now_, it is unlikely that they will have the full 20% deposit for the HDB in 4-5 years time when their flats come.
21. That we wed and have children and acquire homes at the mercy of competent and caring bureacrats, like those of the HDB, as part of the exciting PS21 campaign.
22. That people will pay good money to wear other people's used clothing as a fashion statement.
23. That people might actually be willing to buy used underwear in the near future as a fashion statement.
24. That the psychedelic shirt in the Levi's ad really used to belong to the babe model in the advert, and not some beer-guzzling, nose-picking fishmonger.
25. That during my time, it was called wearing Uncle Ah Bong's hand-me-downs, but nowsadays, it's called wearing nostalgia.
Copyright 2004 by Lee Kin Mun