mrbrown.com

Macho Macho Van

This is the kind of van a Real Man wants to drive, if he wants to be known as a Real Stud, an Italian Stallion, a Man with Balls. Sure beats those DOHC stickers anyday.

The Two Stupidest ATM Locations Revisited

If you don't get it after looking at the photos, then you might want to take a look at the original shots taken some months back. Some official people out there reads Browntown, it seems...

Back to Skool

This is a sign that the school you are sending your little genius to is not going to be part of the Gifted program anytime soon. My question is, is that the age group of the students they accept into the school, or the age group of the folk who put this banner together?

No GSM 1800 Here

So GSM 1800 is a new handphone network and not just a name change.
So GSM 1800 is a new handphone network and not just a name change.
So GSM 1800 is a new handphone network and not just a name change.

Then I guess this building is not ready for GSM 1800 because it only supports GSM900 and a system called PCN. Too bad.

ERP Lives!

This car was wrecked by a 16-year-old Indonesian boy (perhaps it was the Haze) and you can see that the car is all crushed up but wait! The ERP lives! Once more proving us ungrateful cynics that the cow gum really holds. So stop the IU jokes now.

Popular Fashion

Everybody's going upmarket these days. Now, you can shop for your happening clothes at these two fine boutiques on Orchard Road and then pop over next door to buy your assessment books and 10-Year Series. This is what I call a good mix of shops. You Fashion-savvy student-types, take note.

Not a Sperm Bank, I Hope

"Oral sex is illegal without penile penetration" so goes a very recent Singapore court ruling. Bet you did not know of some even stricter rules. In case you missed this gem in the 26th Jan Edition of The Straits Times, Forum page, here it is in all its glory. So we now know that Oral Sex is kind of allowed in Singapore, but early withdrawal is most definitely not. Men, please take note. You know what they say about banking and sex being the same: One loses interest after withdrawal.

Ole Blue-Eyes

I saw this Santa Claus dressed up for the Hari Raya season at a nearby NTUC supermarket. Either that or he is supposed to be a very fair-skinned, blue-eyed Malay. Or this may be The Unabomber in Disguise. Or it may the first unsuccessful prototype for our beloved Senior Minister's Wax figure at Madame Tussard's.

University Car Perks

These are parking lots found in NUS, the local university. As you can see, they are very specific about the kind of people who can park here. You have to be STAEF to park in the top lot, and you must have a TUROUOISE LAREL. Or else you will have to park in the VISITDRS lot. What is a VISITDR? Why, a Visiting Doctor lah! Don't anyhow park here, ok?

SNE in the Business Times

I am proud to announce that Singapore National Education has made it to the local papers - The Business Times 14th Feb 1997 Edition, Executive Lifestyle section to be precise. While we at Browntown are glad that Business Times finds our material worthy of print, it would be really nice if they had emailed mr brown and asked for permission first, or at least included some kind of credit and relevant URL.

Some Browntown readers have been courteous enough to email mr brown for permission to use some of our material for an email signature, so maybe in future, Business Times can extend the same courtesy.

In case you're wondering, you can find the above extracts in SNE Part 26, Points 4, 13 and 23.

The Two Stupidest ATM Locations in Singapore

Here, we see the Two Stupidest ATM Locations in Singapore, proudly brought to you by two local banks and placed at the same shopping mall, beneath the escalators of Basement One of Century Square at Tampines Central.

Why do I say stupidest? Well, take a good look at the area above the ATMs. Those escalators have mirror surfaces, and the ATMs are just under them. Every passer-by can see everything done by the person doing a transaction at these two silly ATMs, including the entering of his secret PIN!

All a crook needs to do is to look up at the reflection of the number pad and he will get the information he needs. No need to break a sweat. Incredible.

The Many Faces of Benedict Goh

By now, you would have heard that Benedict Goh has decided to quit TCS to pursue a career in Men's Skincare. We sincerely wish him all the best in his new endeavour. In tribute, we would like to paid homage to his many acting milestones and wide thespian range in TCS. Browntown mourns the loss of this fine actor. First Philip Mah then Benedict Goh -- hope Sonny Lim stays...

Now Repeat After Me

This is creative journalism at its best. Note how clever the editor of this Straits Times Life article is. Here, the editor created the sidebar for the article by simply lifting entire portions of text from the main article itself and just adding bullets. Voila! A sidebar is created. If you do not believe me, read the article yourself. (ST Life, 15 Jan 1998 Wed, Pg 2)

Face to Face with Cancellations

These days, Singapore seems to be the hottest place for famous music stars to cancel their concerts. U2 canceled their stop here and the much-hyped Elton John/Billy Joel pairing was not spared either. We look forward to more artistes promising to be here and canceling at the last moment. That's the sort of prestigious venue for grand concerts that we are. Must be because of the Port Klang thing.

Mah "AM Singapore" Hero

This is me doing my best impersonation of Philip Mah from "AM Singapore". Note the confident posture and firm sitting position. That man is mah hero.

The Sonny Lim Steeple Hand Gesture

Just for you readers, I got friend "Michael" to do his best impersonation of the much-loved Sonny "Larry King" Lim from "In Conversation". You can tell that "Michael" has that "Sonny Steeple Hand Gesture" down pat. Too bad you can't see the "Sonny Smug Look of Conceited Confidence" too, because of the mosaic pattern across his eyes. We had to change his name and block out his eyes to preserve his identity and protect his fledging career.

The Christmas Tree My Mom Got Me

This is a picture of the Christmas Tree my mom got for my new home. She volunteered to get it for us from Johor Bahru where it is cheaper, but we didn't expect it to be only one foot high. We could not find any Christmas ornaments or lights that could fit on it, so we left it bare.

It did remind us of our favorite TCS actor, Benedict Goh, though. Mike is pointing to the part of the tree that best represents Benedict's fine acting range. And mom, thanks anyway and we love you too.

How to Make Millions

I saw this on the Net and thought maybe you readers might want to be forewarned about these Nigerian conmen. I have also included the receipient's reply to them...

A Thesis on Hawkers: Part 2

Things they teach at the Secret School of Hawkers.

Top Ten List: The True Meaning of EMAS

From the Home Office at Kaki Bukit Car Mart, here's the Top Ten List

Top Ten mistaken explanations for the acronym E.M.A.S.

We recently put out a top ten list of things EMAS could do... but apparently, some people don't even know what EMAS means. In Malay, emas means gold. Some say this is an indication of how costly the system is. A lot of people seem bothered by it. Actually, I don't know what EMAS stands for, but here are some things I'm sure it does not stand for.

Heeeeeere we go: