Singapore National Education Part 21
I have also learned lately:
1. That a recent Straits Times article quoted some university economists as saying that the East Coast views are worth $136 million. Great, we need another reason to ask for high prices.
2. That just when you thought SingTel would never replicate the fiasco they created the last time by bringing down their own cellular and paging network, as well as M1's and other competitors', SingTel is proud to have proven you wrong again. Three cheers for the Big Red Umbrella.
3. That for this cock-up, SingTel had to choose the afternoon when I had to pick my wife up from Bishan MRT in the North at 6.30pm, and I was stuck in a jam at the ECP in the East, unable to call her to tell her to go home by herself.
4. That for the trailers for the recent Pyramid Game, starring Lorraine Kraal and Hubert Tang as celebrity guests, Lorraine was given a walkie-talkie to use as a pretend radio to "tune in" to Hubert Tang's show. TCS obviously didn't think viewers would notice, what with their most of their other trailers bordering on the insane anyway.
5. That a possible way of measuring PS21, the new vision for civil service service, is to make sure that your ministry doesn't get mentioned in Singapore National Education.
6. That TIBS is now offering airport transfers in their London Cabs for $45 guaranteed. Heck, I'd do it for $40 bucks. Mike says he will do it for $39.90 (which is below Lam Soon's recommended prices) but don't listen to him, I have more CDs in my Viki than he has in his Honda Accord.
I have more CDs in my back pocket than he has CDs period.
7. That the next episode of "Shiver" will feature a story where most of the characters from the episode will die from a lethal attack of overacting.
8. That in the "Shiver" episode where Andrew Seow was stalked by a vicious predator, a very incompetent cameraman, and Andrew's eyes turned into another colour through the clever and discreet, never-before-used method of wearing coloured contact lenses, audiences all over Singapore were supposed to be extremely terrified.
9. That Phua Chu Kang, everyone's favourite sitcom home contractor, will make a better "AM Singapore" host than any of the yahoos doing the show now. The new format should appeal to the masses, and include segments on 4D and Toto results, creative interior decoration with a Haw Par Villa motif and koi rearing/fengshui segments.
I bet Phua Chu Kang would make the morning show "Best in Singapore, Johor and Batam!"
10. That one hour of watching and listening to the "AM Singapore" presenters is equivalent to doing nineteen hours of a more enjoyable activity, like getting your appendix removed. Without anesthetic.
11. That "AM Singapore" should be screened at a more accessible time, like 3.30am.
12. That I only watch "AM Singapore" when I don't have important things to do, like watch paint dry.
13. That I may not have mentioned this before, but I really dislike "AM Singapore" like I dislike having my stomach pumped.
14. That I can reach the free Callsearch yellow pages service through a payphone but not with my M1 handphone.
15. That TCS 8 is in the midst of filming a sword-fighting flick/period drama starring just about every TCS 8 star, and it is going to be an original story (they are renowned for that) called "The Return of the Condom Heroes". Apparently, this very original story has only been remade to death by Hong Kong TV stations. Only Kurdistan has not remade this series thus far.
16. That TCS 8 is now screening a serial about the Hakka people and everyone speaks perfectly dubbed Mandarin.
17. That in their reply to Cherian George's scathing article on their being "conservative with the truth", the Ministry of Health suggests that they have a right to decide what the average Singaporean ought to know.
18. That the Government "will not intervene to prop up the property sector", no, there is no intervention at all, just a "controlled adjustment".
19. That there is a need for the Government to intervene in the property market or else some terrible market forces will be unleashed, like supply and demand.
20. That when the property prices go up by 100-200%, we have good economic fundamentals, but when it drops by 5-10%, we have a crisis.
21. That a Usenet contributor recently said that I have "turned out to be utterly incapable of saying anything original or amusing about Singapore politics". It is true. I am sorry. I hang my head in shame but I really tried very hard to laugh at some of stuff that was happening locally but I got depressed just thinking about it.
I have since been reduced to making fun of TCS. But that is like making jokes about a joke.
22. That when ministers have to go overseas like Canada and England to ask our best minds to please come home, you start to understand why there is all this talk about looking for foreign talent.
23. That they send everybody's favourite HDB man to Canada to ask our people to come back home and resettle here.
24. That an Internet user, while commenting on the issue of property prices, recently concluded that, "Ultimately, if you are poor, it is because you are stupid or blind or don't mix with the right people. In any case, you have nobody to blame except yourself."
This is what I think makes our nation great.
25. That all we need to do to make our nation even greater is to get rid of all the blind stupid people with poor social skills. Than we would really be a Developed Country.
Copyright 2004 by Lee Kin Mun
