Singapore National Education Part 25
I have also learned lately:
1. That Usenet readers still remember Morning Live Radio from very long ago, on 90.5FM with Victor Khoo "and that bloody puppet", when Victor asked a schoolboy in a quiz what the female of cock is (as in rooster) and the young man replied with an enthusiastic "Ch** B*!" (think hokkien dialect, think female body part).
Man, do I miss those halcyon days of live radio without call screening.
2. That Singapore sperm donation centres have porn videos to "help" donors along, but apparently these are censored too!
(Anyone who has personal experience with this phenomenon please email me to let me know if it really is true. I will keep you anonymous, of course.)
3. That in an ensuing discussion on Usenet as to whether Singapore has a Daylight Savings Time, a reader mentioned that we do have a Parking Coupons Savings Time. This happens when a Singaporean has to tear parking coupons and in these scenarios, our local time is moved back by about 15 minutes. This is because all public car parks in Singapore exist in a different Time Zone.
However, when a parking warden spots this anomaly, a $30 adjustment fee is imposed on the driver for administration purposes. Otherwise, there is no charge.
4. That there are actually consumers out there who are upset that Carrefour is selling Tiger Beer at below recommended retail prices. There is some suspicion that Carrefour will sell at regular prices after the publicity is over. There is a way with dealing with such practices, it's called "Don't Buy From Them if They Don't Sell at the Prices You Like". No supermarket can survive on hype alone. So enjoy the low prices while you can.
And obviously, these shoppers have not been to other countries where beer is cheaper than soft drinks.
5. That The Straits Times still comes in many sections. Now families can read the papers all at once, especially families of 8 members or more.
6. That changing the name of your product is a viable marketing tool and is not considered fraud in Singapore. I may want to boost readership of SNE (Singapore National Education) by renaming it "SNE 1800". That should improve my Coverage.
7. That buying the correct-size Scotch tape for my many tape dispensers can be an exercise in pain and frustration (at last count: 3 rolls of tape that don't fit the dispenser). I may have to resort to drastic measures soon and use a ruler.
8. That satellite TV is banned for some Singaporeans but not for others. Somebody explain this to me. Maybe I'm just not mature enough to own one.
SM Lee's view towards Hollywood culture:
"I see it in my grandchildren every day. They grow up differently than my own children. My grandchildren speak English, they watch TV via satellite straight from the USA, they read American magazines".
--The Straits Times, page 2, "News Focus" on 15th Dec 97, Monday.
"Cabling of landed properties delayed" states:
"The cabling project has been touted as a major infrastructure investment for the country. The Government said in June 1995, that with cable in every home, Singapore households would not need satellite dishes, which remained banned."
--The Straits Times, page 2, "News Focus" on 16th Dec 97, Tuesday.
"I want my, I want my, I want my satellite TV" --mr brown, SNE Part 25, point 8.
9. That a Usenet reader posted a spoiler for the three-over-hour movie "Titanic" by revealing its surprise ending -- the ship sank and almost everyone died. I think this sort of thing ought to be stopped, spoiling the movie for those who have not watched it.
And now for The Late News -- The Titanic has sunk, I repeat, the Titanic has sunk.
10. That if you want to see a classic example of a TV presenter reading off an autocue, watch Daphne of "AM Singapore" and the way she moves her head when she is presenting. It's a riot.
Although I have to concede with one reader when he said that Daphne is one of the better-looking presenters on TV. OK, I agree, she _is_ prettier than Philip Mah. See? I'm not always such a mean dawg.
11. That you know it is Christmas when you start seeing "Circus of the Stars", Magic shows and ice skating programs on TCS 5.
12. That you know it is Christmas when you see fully-grown adults walking around town with a furry Santa Claus hat that has a blinking ball of light at the end.
13. That some people think that by paying to see the 007 movie "Tomorrow Never Dies", they also become 001 (Licence to Call) and start using their handphones at movie screenings. Somebody revoke their licence please. With extreme prejudice.
14. That having been shown by Carrefour what competitive pricing can be, NTUC has responded with the best way they know how, with a sign outside their shops with the words "We Are Owned By 35,000 Singaporeans, We Are Singapore's Very Own."
15. That according to the latest Navy ad, our newly acquired submarines are good for destroying the ever-looming global threat of rubber duckies.
Either that or they are looking for a specific kind of individual to man our modern Navy, the mature, thinking, man-of-steel kind that plays "submarine hunting rubber duckie" games in their bath tubs.
That said, I did quite enjoy the ad and it is easily one of the better and funnier ads from our military. We could do with more of these light-hearted ads instead of those overly-macho, anal ads we get so often from the Army.
"The Thinking Soldier: Just Because We is Army One Don Mean We Don Use Our Blain, OK?"
A Phua Chu Kang Army Ad: "Ooi! This is the Army, OK? Use you Blain! Use Your Blain!"
16. That it is believed that Santa Claus does not visit our homes in Singapore not only because our HDB flats have no chimneys (and our rubbish chutes too narrow), but also because cookies left for him on Christmas Eve always become soft in our humid climate.
17. That on "Insight", the Republic of Singapore Navy was referred to as the Royal Singapore Navy. So we now know what the RSN stands for in front of our ships' names. Long live the Queen!
18. That the most inappropriate Christmas song for countries like Singapore and South Africa is "White Christmas".
19. That it appears that the Straits Times is having a contest to see how many people they can find who missed their Silkair flight to Jakarta. They should have enough people to fill two planes by the end of the month.
20. That TCS thinks that live, on-site coverage of the MI185 tragedy means reporting "live" from _Changi Airport_ and showing the same footage of the Crisis Management Centre over and over and over again.
21. That a local Chinese paper printed a 4-page News Extra on the MI185 tragedy and charged 60 cents for this. And to think that people were upset with rumours that Palembang fishermen were trawling the muddy waters of Musi River for money.
22. That not to be outdone by the Spice Girls, Boyz2Men has also released a single called "Mama". And that would make them Mama'z Boyz.
23. That there are those who think that Benedict Goh, in the Chinese drama serial Rising Expectations, is better off in a less demanding role, like that of a Rock.
Then there are those who do not think he should be cast as a Rock because a Rock has more emotional range and depth.
And others worry about a backlash from the rock community if he were to act as one of them.
24. That Benedict Goh is well on his way to scoring a hat trick by winning the New Paper Turn-off of the Year for three years in a row. He has already won twice and this is his third year. Although competition is stiff this year, what with Philip Mah and Sonny Lim among the nominees. All the best to Ben Goh!
25. That the downturn of the Malaysian economy is also taking its Toll on Singapore, especially at Tuas.
Copyright 2004 by Lee Kin Mun
