24th March 1998 1732h (Singapore Time, GMT+8 hours)
Live via satellite, mr brown brings you the best lines culled from watching the 70th Academy Awards Show twice, the first time live and the second time via VCR. That's more than 9 hours of work!
Now, you may say he is dedicated to delivering timely moments of artistic film-making to his loyal readers, or you may say he is insane and has too much free time in his hands. But you cannot fault his dogged tenacity, since the Awards ceremony lasted longer than the Titanic's 3-plus hours. With that, it is our pleasure to bring you the funniest moments on the 70th birthday of Oscar.
1. "Welcome back. Well, so much has changed in the last year. A year ago, the White House was complaining there was too much sex in Hollywood..." (Billy Crystal, host)
2. My friend, the director of Titanic, James Cameron, and I made three movies together -- Terminator, Terminator 2 and True Lies. That was, of course, during his early, low-budget art-house period..." (Arnold Schwarzenegger introducing the clip of Best Movie nominee, Titanic)
3. "That clip cost $15 million." (Billy Crystal after the 30-second Titanic clip was shown) "That's about right." (Mouthed by James Cameron from his seat)
4. "But here to fill in for her (Juliette Binoche) is Celine Dion." (Billy Crystal introducing the presenter of the Best Supporting Actor Award, and making fun of Celine Dion who took Barbra Streisand's place singing at the Golden Globes earlier this year)
5. "Thank you. Oh, man. This might be the one time I'm speechless. Oh, thank you so much. For this incredible honor. Thank you for putting me in a category with these four extraordinary men. Thank you, Ben and Matt. I still want to see some ID." (Robin Williams' acceptance speech for his Best Supporting Actor award in Matt Damon and Ben Affleck's "Good Will Hunting")
6. "Matt Damon looked so young, results in the category were tabulated by FisherPrice-Waterhouse." (Billy Crystal after the clip of Best Movie nominee, Good Will Hunting was shown)
7. "Welcome back. I was Harry, she was Sally. And now we meet again. The scene we did together in a deli, brought new meaning to the term 'Happy Meal'." (Billy Crystal introducing the presenter of the Best Art Direction Award, Meg Ryan)
8. "The film is 'Character', it opens next Friday, I'm not going to advertise it... This ought to tell you that it probably has, you know, like, damn stunning subtitles." (Mike van Diem, Netherlands director for Best Foreign Language Film winner, "Character")
9. "That is a tough role, playing that. Really. Playing it bigoted, anti-woman, anti-gay, anti-minority, a millionaire. Not only won an Oscar but he is the front runner for the Republican nomination." (Billy Crystal on Jack Nicholson, after watching the clip of Best Movie nominee, As Good As It Gets)
10. "Mom, Dad, there's no way that I can express to you what I'm feeling right now. My heart is full to bursting, except to say, I'm the King of the World! Whoo-whoo!!" (James Cameron's acceptance speech for his Best Director win)
So there you have it. We do apologise if this came out a little late, something like 4 hours after the live show ended. It is unforgivable, we know. But mr brown was adamant about finding out the exact length of the Titanic clip they showed at the Oscars. Hope it was good for you as it was for him. Good night and see you next year!