mrbrown.com

Advice for Tourists to UK

The Brits have peculiar words for many things. Money is referred to as "goolies" in slang, so you should for instance say "I'd love to come to the pub but I haven't got any goolies." "Quid" is the modern word for what was once called a "shilling" - the equivalent of seventeen cents American.

Iraqi TV

The Iraqi Prime Time Television Schedule:

Corporate America

You know you work in Corporate America if:

Silly Interesting Facts

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

How to Survive an Anaconda Attack

This is for all of you to consider in case your current career plans don't work out...

y2k Solved!

To: mrbrown

From: MIS Dept Y-to-K Task Force

Subject: Y-to-K Project Status

The y0k Bug

While browsing through some dust-covered archival material in the recesses of the Roman Section of the British Museum, a researcher recently came across a tattered bit of parchment. After some effort he translated it and found that it was a letter from a man called Plutonius with the title of "magister fastorium", or keeper of the calendar, to one Cassius.The text of the message follows:

Resumania

Some things are best left unsaid

Stuff Kids Do

Found this on the net. People with kids, good luck.

Real Boss

A few months back, Mahathir went on holiday and Anwar was left in charge.

Mouse Balls Memo

This apparently was a memo sent at a computer company to its employees in all seriousness...

Fwd-VIRUS WARNING

***-- VIRUS WARNING from MeMail.com --***

Folks, I don't normally send out virus warnings, but this one is extremely serious. Please read very carefully and take care!

Actual Church Bulletins

This is a compilation of actual Church Bulletins and Service bloopers:

Most Embarrassing Moments

The following are the top three winners of a Most Embarrassing Moments Contest in New Woman Magazine.

The New Chinese B Syllabus

So much talk has been generated about the new easier B Syllabus for Chinese, that came about, as we all know, because some minister's son could not cope with the regular Chinese syllabus. I thought it would be good to let you have a glimpse of what the new Chinese Syllabus B is like. -mb

You Know It's A Bad Day When...

The sun comes up in the West.

You jump out of bed and miss the floor.

The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.

Dracula Sucks

Dracula was killed one day and went to heaven to see god. God refused to let Dracula in because of all the sins that he had done going around sucking blood & killing.

College Application

Here's a specimen that's always in circulation by fax and email, not to mention appearing on several dozen Websites at any given time. It falls into the "legendary but true" category (see below).

Anti-Spam Spam

I actually received this in my email the other day, a piece of spam (unsolicited junk email) claiming to be able to help me fight spam. In essence, I was spammed by an Anti-Spamming company. Not very kosher, I think. He also needs to learn how to spell. Another day on the Knowledge Infobahn. Sigh. -mb.

Pickup Lines

Man: "Haven't we met before?"

Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."