I decided to create this page to give you an idea of the kind of mail I receive (both fan and hate mail). Please note that the opinions expressed here are not mine, so do not get mad at me if they say stuff that do not agree with you (like when a reader bashes Fann Wong or says something negative about your country). Have fun.
More Hate Mail...
You probably don't know me, and neither do i know you.
However, i feel it necessary to raise a few points to you, directly.
I was a recipient of some of your comments on everything from the ERP to Malaysia's internal turmoil.
I am SIngaporean. And I am equally Malay and Chinese. Lastly, I am apolitical. However, i would advise you to be sure of who (ultimately) receives your comments... because they smack of insensitivity and immaturity. Just because you can very well do a double take on the surface of current affairs, does not license you to try to take the mickey out of all and sundry.
I would feel very much relieved if fewer Singaporeans tried what you have just done, but speak openly, if that is how they feel.
I apologise if I have upset you. But someone had to say it.
dear mr brown,
as much as the many rats who would follow your little pide pipper song would agree with what is said of benedict, i'd like to say this to you. i really think it's highly insensitive and judgemental of you to make such "comments". i mean, how do you think you people would fare as an actor? give the guy a break man.
think about it. in the 3 years he was with tcs, he was only an amateur compere before tcs decided to throw him into acting. true enough, he's quite wooden as an actor. but then, i see improvements in his acting after 2 shows. i see many actors and actresses being given bad reviews during their first few shows and compliments and words of encouragements for their efforts.
i know many of you think you could do better. but REALLY... could you? i think most of you are influenced by prejudiced reporters who choose to write unkind words about people they dislike. tell me. do you like fran dresher? well, i love her. i think she's hilarious. although local tv has stopped showing the nanny, i still try to catch it on cable even though they're repeats. not only do i like her but many many others do too. but just recently, a reporter who doesn't like her put her and benedict goh in the same category as people we would like to see less on tv.
i think you will agree with me on this. what we see on tv, magazine & newspaper articles influence our thinking. cos let's face it. singapore is no america where people have their own mind and have their own opinions and stick by it. we're always being led by the nose without us admitting it. but like the education board said, we need to educate our children in a new way, so they can exercise their minds instead of just memorising the textbooks... so our children can THINK!!!
so let's think before we act [or write]. it's gonna hurt a little at first [thinking] but you'll get used to it.
Happy Birthday Browntown!
Congratulations Kin Mun!
On publishing your 50th issue of Singapore National Education without getting a visit from the ISD lads! But perhaps they have a sense of humor too?
I get each issue at least four time, from forwarded emails of friends as well as your list! Here's to a growing list of subscribers! How many do you have anyway? How about some statistics in your next issue?
From Johann D'souza
Congratulations Mr Brown from me and Inkpot.com you have been great and hope to see the Hundredth edition.
Cool site man! Keep it up...
Will check out the rest of the columns when I have more time. Must tell more people about your site.
Oh, and loved your wedding pix - reminds me of all the fuss I had to go thru when I married my Canto wife!!! Pig & all.... But you have a pretty wife - congrats and all the best!!!
Hi, wishing you and the site a happy 1st birthday. And applauding your dedication in writing all these reams every fortnight, regardless of rain, snow, sleep etc.
Just writing to offer my congratulations on your site's first anniversary. Your articles have provided much needed relief for acute homesickness, lingering depression and chronic moroseness. I have had the pleasure of being witness to all three.
From Hui Min
I'm glad you used the clinton pic I sent you. Happy 50th issue. Once again I thank you for a wonderful close-to-home peek in a not so close to home place.
P.S. Guess what, I should have known not to read your SNE with a beauty mask
on (the St-Ives-firming-mask-with-pure-mineral-clay-that-stiffens-and-
inhibits-facial-movement-completely-when-it-dries type). It gives a whole new perspective to "cracked up". :)
Just thought I'd draw your attention to something interesting. I mailed my friend studying in Stanford about your website, and apparently they had heard about it already. They accidentally went to browntown.com, thinking that that was the address. As it turns out, it's a gay porno site for blacks. And the funny thing about all this is, there was a link on the LSE homepage to your site using that address. So imagine the horror of people who visit the prestigious LSE homepage, and follow one of their links to a porno site. I think that the Stanford students mailed the webmaster informing him of the mistake, but i haave no idea if the error has been corrected yet.
I was searching for information on National Education to join the MOE webpage design and I came across your site! I was looking for real info on National Education and instead I got this site! IN FACT, THIS IS BETTER THAN WHAT THE MOE IS TEACHING US STUDENTS! Then another surprise, this is made with a mac! Cool awesome, keep thinking different!
On Being Chinese
I am Singaporean Chinese, & have been living in America for the Umpteen years... I'm shocked...flabbergasted... by the way you describe us Chinese people so clearly.
Being that I'm married to an American for so long, you'll think my idea / concept should be indfferent & very westernize by now. You're wrong,... I've to much Chinese in my blood that everything you describe in your 84 listings is also describing ME also. It's disgusting!!! But it's so true and it will never change me. I call it The "Zen Zhong" type! Yes Sir, and I'm proud of it. Even my hubby is behaving like one too, ...what can you say, when you feed the man rice 24x7=365 days. And because of the way I think & do things so very Chinese way, even my American mother-in-law branded me as "Jews" instead of Chinese (She's born & raised in Brooklyn - the Jewish neighbourhood)... So, my friend, we're not alone!!! I should share your 84 listings with my Jewish friend & compare. Smile...
Keep up the good search!!!...
An Wars: The Movie
Just thought I would share my favourite quote from the wise and eloquant Dr M of M (really sounds like some villian from some B-grade arcane action movie) when asked how Datuk Anwar was to direct his supporters to stop rioting while he is still in jail and have no access even to his wife:
"I don't know... mental telepathy"
(The New Paper Saturday 260998)
On Hate Mail...
Ha ha! What hooplas! There are people who have no sense of humour at all. Life is a one way street, their ten cent coins only have either a head or tail. They want to throw dices with only one number on it. They probably read only Straits Times and have difficulties picking up the WSJ and NYTimes. Too many facts are confusing. Their eyes sored after viewing the kaleidoscope of life for 2 seconds. They can only manage one view, and that is their own. Butterflies come in one colur, roses are all pink and bra cups take only one size. Changes are not welcomed, risks are not in their vocabulary. Multitasking is not their competency. Parallel processing is a science degree you get after a major alien adoption. When challenged, their sorry defence raised to Defcon 1, and empty headed ICBMs immediately mobilised. It is a nuclear warfare for them everyday just to look at things from a different angle. Complex issues are Mensa items. They have problem rebooting their computer, since "Ctrl-Alt-Del" needs major coordination between their three fingers.
SNE is the funny side of life in Singapore with a good hint of how the man in the street actually feels about issues affecting them. And if they can't see it from that point of view, I guess some people are just born with brocolli in between their ears.
As for you, you should get your sorry and lazy butt off that smelly chair and go do the next overdued edition of SNE.
i was pretty amused by alan khoo's comments. just a word of advice alan, we SINGAPOREANS can jolly well not shop(or should i say patronise) your shops, but you don't come BEGGING for our business an friendship when your shops are on the verge of collaspe and bankruptcy. That's exactly what your Trigger Happy Prime Minister is doing RIGHT NOW!! by inviting PM Goh to KL.
From Asian in America
Please tell Alan Khoo that if he don't like the site, go f**k himself, wakeup and smell the coffee and get a grip. He is into x-rated web site, he needs help himself.
You guys are excellent, love and enjoy reading your site, keep up the good work.
Regards from L.A.
From The Semi-potent Orangejuice
At very least I have to say, you have an interesting website. I read the so called hate mail you were talking about and it looks like the propoganda speech of someone mired in the happy bunnie dreams of perfect political party ties with privilages for not having a sence of humour about the whole stupid stinking thing. Anal retentive? That's for Freud to determine, and yes I'm aware that he's dead.
I have read your site for sometimes, started off by just reading jokes. But later found that others are quite good. Recently had seen the hate mails for you. Well, I have to say that not all people can accept what you have written, depending on their kind of personality. But I think with a sense of humor and some wild creative thoughts, your writings will appear to be like jokes of the day. So I want to tell those who wrote hate mails, RELAX PAL!!!
From Teo E T
Mr Brown, sir
I am a major fan of your senselessness. Your web page speaks everything about you
10. You are dumb.
9. You have an infinite capacity to show your dumbness.
8. You are a very jealous person.
7. You speak without thinking.
6. You do not see things around you and judge on your meagre knowledge.
5. You have numerous fans....because of your senselessness. i believe you do receive TONNES of such fanmails.
4. It's either the weather or your own statellite which grows on your butt that tells you all your ' facts' .
3. You are insensitive thus my being so now.
2. I can imagine how you look just by reading your web page... you probably look like a dweeb with a hole in your head.
AND THE NO. 1...
YOUR WEBPAGE IS LIKE YOU------LOUSY BORING AND A WHOLE LOT OF BULL SHIT.
On Malaysia Bashing...
Hi Kin Mun,
Just read your recent SNE, and are surprised to see 13 out of your 30 points are related to bashing of Malaysia. I have read press articles from both countries and think the issue can be solve amicably. The last thing we need is more bashing of each other. Majority of people from both side don't want any quarrel but I guess politicians think otherwise. The issues has now been blown out of proportions with a friend of mine in U.K enquiring whether there is a war going on ! The funny thing is every now and then there will be some disagreement between the those countries.
The write-up on the ERP is very thought provoking. In bad times like now, the ERP is the last thing we need. Its not going to help retailers either. I have friends in the retailers industry who are on the verge of collapsing.
The National Education fair was a disappointing one as I was turned away as I did not have the sticker pass. It should be opened to all if the main objective to let people know about the short Singapore history.
Until then I guess the next SNE will be Clinton bashing.
On Mr Y K Ho's Mail...
(The original mail that sparked the Anwar protests)
Mr Y K Ho speaks...
Hi there, it is with deepest sympathy that I have to write this letter to you. Writing to a person with such negative views of Singapore and all things around you.
As the saying goes, a bottle can be "half full or half empty depending on which way you chose to see it" and it is obvious that you are living your life in the "half empty" part.
In such times of economic uncertainty, it would be encouraging to all Singaporean to hear some motivating advices or suggestions from other Singaporean regardless race, religion, experience so we can keep our morale high and remain competitive.
And with so many things developing with our neighbours up north and down south, I think you are doing us, all Singaporean, a big bad favour by drilling a big hole on a vessel sailing through choppy water !!!
But please do not get me wrong, I do agree with some of the views from your SNE and when view from another angle, I think it is true to some extend. However, please be remind (and I'm sure you know) that not all the "truth" are pleasant and sometimes it hurts.
The saying goes, You can determine how " big " a person is by his temper and views. Since I do not know you personally, I hope (sincerely) that you, with all those information in your SNE, could instead of voicing them in a sarcastic manner, provide some constructive suggestion for all of us to benefit.
With this, I would like to end my letter but it would be very sad for me to see you living your life as such. Furthermore, it has been proven in the medical world that people with have a negative views of life tends to live a shorter life. Do you agree?
May any God bless you (i.e. if you have one in the first place)
from Mr Ho Y K
PS --> It would be "sadder" for me to know if you are indeed a blue-blooded Singaporean.
From Mr Swee
Keep up the good work and ball to all hate mail sender. These people never know only try to act. Since can act go TCS .
Take care man
From Hawaii Golf
Aloha Mr. Brown,
I have read with great interest for the past few weeks of your columns and many many contributions.Too bad for Mr. Y.K. Ho for taking such a serious side to the whole endeavour. He did not have that sense of humor of many Singaporeans who are in Exile possess.I guess he must have been a 'kiasu king' all his life with the ah beng mentality.
Hi Mr Brown
I enjoy reading your latest article 14 August 1998.
Do you suppose we can get Mr Ho Y K to elaborate on what he meant by 'half full'? I am very curious about his occupation as well. Do you suppose he is a civil servant?
From his short letter and sarcastic remarks, I get the impression that he has never step out of this country. If anything, he is definitely more bias in his opinions than anybody else.
Eh..... (ssshhhh don't do loud) I think that hate mail you received must be from Lee Yoke Suan - just like him to talk nonsense and bad grammer while trying HARD to butter the upper echelons.... may be he use his glandfadder or glandmudder name?
From Mr Death
Dear Mr Lee,
If I may say so, you really ought to stop the cover up and let us know Mr Ho Y K's real email address. There is nothing I will not do to holier than thou, PAP ass-kissing MOTHERF*****S like him.
So if you could be so kind, please do forward his email and preferably real home address (finger him or something, I don't know). There are many "associates" who completely disagree with his views and fully support yours. If you could in fact be so kind, we will give you front seat tickets to the act featuring him as he perofrms some of the most spectacular body contortions of our time.
Hi Mr Brown,
In the light of the local hate-mail that you've received, I thought that it's about time for me to voice my personal views, just for kicks.
I've been an ardent fan of your SNE series ever since a friend started forwarding them to me, circa SNE 19. My other friends have also been happy beneficiaries, and while some of them enjoy it for 'alternate' views of Singapore life, I personally find it gratifying to know that I'm not the only one whose mind boggles at such covert insanity.
Mind you, "Singapore's my homeland, it's here that we belong , lah dee dah" and all that but every country has it's loony side, right?
Anyways, back to the point, a.k.a. Mr "Ho Y K" or whomever he really is... he's a putz.
He wrote : As the saying goes, a bottle can be "half full or half empty depending on which way you chose to see it" and it is obvious that you are living your life in the "half empty" part.
I say : It's equally obvious that he is living his life 'half empty' - the man, oops, person, has no sense of humour at all. It's so sad to see that that person is unable to distinguish satire from political discussion. Mr 'Ho', get a life, improve *your* negative viewpoint, and learn to laugh a little, for crying out loud!
One last thing, Mr Brown, since when were you Singapore royalty? :-)
"PS --> It would be "sadder" for me to know if you are indeed a blue-blooded Singaporean."
Mr Ho. Do us a favour. Leave the "constructive" criticism and pat on the backs to the mass media, education systems and government. In a democractic country, there is a recognised niche for a cynic critic who serves as the conscience of a civic society. We come here to be amused and laugh at ourselves. Let us recognise that he has a right to voice these views in cyberspace and you could exercise your right not to be looking at these webpages. Singapore has not implemented the Malaysian Sedition Act and Mr Brown is certainly not advocating any seditious or apotastic acts.
Alan Khoo's Great Porn Adventure...
From Alan Khoo of Malaysia
I think you are wrong the knock the country that once rules your sorry asses. Besides you are wrong to critisize us the way you did, you bunch of tight ass dumbfucks think you're all that...but you're not ! And besides all this, i'm dissappointed in coming in to your fucked up page, i was looking for some adult pics.
So to put everything in a few words....F**K OFF SINGAPOREAN D*CKLESS F**K ! And don't ever come to our country to buy anything...PR**K
From Adrian Tan
Hilarious stuff. Keep it up. I see you have some Malaysian visitors so try to use only one-syllable words in your articles.
I donno how I got to your site, really believe me I'm still trying to figure that part out, but it's great and I can say that I'm very entertained.
Keep up your good work...heck, start a chat or a forum discussion page, that way we can reply Mr Alan too.
just read about the alan khoo guy at the mr brown home page too bad you didn't give his real address, if not i could have directed him to the correct url he was looking for.
i think he was looking for www.browntown.com rather than your www.mrbrown.com go take a look, i think that alan guy was actually looking for this website.
From Lee Y H
I feel compelled to apologized to you on behalf of my fellow countryman, Alan Khoo, on his rather rude email to you.
Some of us may not have developed a more civilised way to express our feeling, but the feeling is genuine and sincere.
I lived here for 15 years, and am fortunate to develop a more level headed way of rebuttal, but I am glad the loyalty and love to my country, which some singaporean find them (the loyalty and love) hard to understand, has never abetted.
I don't believe in censorship, I hope the email response that you received on MNE will not be seen as a threat to shut you up.
It has been said that if everyone in the world posses empathy, then this would be a much better place! I fully agree with your political satire form of describing the Singapore and Malaysian way of life I mean lies, and I can see the ill informed or maybe deprived of brain cells that have reflected that persons (Alan Khoo) response!