For those successful applicants to the Imperial Academy.
Now that you've joined the Imperial Forces, you're bound to meet Darth Vader some day. That's as exhilarating as it is dangerous. Follow these simple rules and you'll be okay.
10. Don't mumble "This is CNN" under your breath as he walks by. He hates that.
9. Don't tell him he's got a one-eyed snake in the trash compactor. He'll probably misunderstand and kill you.
8. Don't push any buttons on his chest. Especially that blue "fill suit with water" one.
7. Don't point out that most of the Stormtroopers in those wide-angle shots are just matte paintings. Just play along and wave politely.
6. Don't say "Less filling".
5. Don't accept any promotions that would make you an Admiral. Trust me.
4. Don't shift the Death Star into reverse from fourth gear.
3. Don't come out of hyperspace too close to a system. Remember what happened at Hoth?
2. Don't ever call him "Anakin" or "Pepe". Those names no longer have no meaning to him.
1. Don't bother trying to hide those McNuggets. He's on them like white on rice.
Contributed by Mtn Std T
