This is the funniest email exchange I have ever read, between 2 Reservists, one an Officer (LTA D) and another (Teo HW) who is not. Somehow, their surreal email exchange got circulated on the Net, and it is now somewhat of a cult viral email. I could not write funnier material than this if I tried. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. -brown
Dialogue starts HERE
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3
My e-mail is working again, you can send to this e-mail a/c.
Your contact list is very good. You are very free.
Well done SOLDIER.
Regards
LTA D
-----Original Message-----
From: Teo HW
Sent: Sunday, August 12, 2001 09:25 PM
Subject: RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3
Thanks for your compliments. But no, I am not very free, just that it does not take me too long to do something like that. I'm too efficient, thank you. You can continue using that "soldier" line on me, but you only have 6 more days to do that. Anymore references after that day shall be politely ignored.
Regards,
HW
p.s. You made a mistake with your rank. It's LTA(NS).
I dun understand why you should call yourself an NSF.
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, August 24, 2001 12:19 PM
Subject: RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3
Outstanding don't worry don't let me meet you in camp during our reservist period. Are you excuse push up, I hope not so I can knock you down hahahaahahahahahahaah.
-----Original Message-----
From: Teo HW
Sent: Saturday, August 25, 2001 12:07 AM
To: '[email protected]'
Subject: RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3
Dun worry, dear, coz I'm going to sign on in the police force.
Don't forget to salute to ASP hor.
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, August 25, 2001 07:15 AM
Subject: RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3
You sign police I sign army then we should see whose rank is bigger. I sign on as a captain, who knows if I have an honour, I sign as a Major. One or two year later LTC then knock it down ASP. Ha Ha.
-----Original Message-----
From: Teo HW
Sent: Saturday, August 25, 2001 11:52 AM
To: '[email protected]'
Subject: RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3
Oh, but for your info, I am not staying in there for long. I intend to quit after 2-3 years, then fly off overseas for an advanced degree/phd, then come back and work in the gov sector as a civilian. As is obvious, it's the money I'm after; who gives a hoot about rank. Anyhow, I doubt u can have a chance at knocking me down, since I'll be back as a civilian before u know it. And not a reservist in the Army, but the police force. But if all things do not follow as planned, do you honestly thinkn I'll knock it down at your command?
Laughing is a more likely response you will get. In the end, seems like I have the last laugh. Ha Ha.
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, August 26, 2001 09:30 AM
Subject: RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3
Who knows in the army my rank is much higher then yours, so ten years down the row, you may be working outside not in the army but in your so call government sector and who can tell I may be your superior, by that time I would not want you to knock it down instead "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY SIGHT" I believe that since my rank in the army is so much higher than yours. I can be very "on" in doing things. One thing for sure you would definitely go for reservists. Come on you think I would knock you down, I would recommend some extras for you to do, as you know it is very easy to get extras in the army.
If fact you can get extras for no reasons. I think you must also be aware that I could charge people as well. SO BEWARE
-----Original Message-----
From: Teo HW
Sent: Sunday, August 26, 2001 09:13 PM
To: '[email protected]'
Subject: RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3
Frankly, I don't know why I bother carrying on this silly conversation with you, but since we've come thus far, maybe I'll just give a bit more of my two cents' worth.
First and foremost, u seem to possess a strange tendency of putting others down. You apparently attach a very high value to that rank of yours, but may I remind you that it is but just a rank as an NSF (versus a regular) in the SAF (versus Israel's). Big deal? I don't think so. Hey, I mean, how many times are you compelled enough to go home from camp in your full uniform just to show your rank to the general public during your NSF days?
And if you do, you expect the public to look at you with respect? Please face reality, friend. This is Singapore, not Taiwan, where armed forces personnel are treated as national heroes. So with that misplaced pride on something as mundane as two small patches of string, you expect others to regard you with fear? Oh man, I'm so scared....
Second, I find it rather incredulous that I have to remind you that rules and regulations in the SAF exist for the cohesive running of the various forces, not as an instrument to whit the appetites of a lone man's selfish ego and ambitions. You desire to abuse the rules hinges on the brink of pure childishness. And I have some things I need to bring to your attention, in case you face embarrassment in future:
1. Sure, the army can be extremely unfair, especially in the days of full-time NSF, but (oh no!) the reservist period is a completely different story. There, ranks count next to nothing, and if anyone tries to play stupid tricks on me, don't expect me to sit back and accept whatever is meted out without question.
2. Charge? Yeah, they are only fines actually. Peanuts when you compare with your future pay. And of course you need a heck of a damn good reason to put me in the cell, if you insist. And finally, you can't charge, only recommend. Do not assume others do not have assess or don't read military documents.
Third, I do not see any reason why you need to mention about being "on". And yeah, of course I'll do reservists, but not necessarily so in the Army. And can you stop me from downgrading in future if I have to?
And finally, I almost laughed when you claim that your supposedly Very "high" rank is going to mean that you will excel in the civilian work force.
Naive indeed. Please enlighten me regarding this claim. And please tell me what you will do if I happen to be your superior. As for me, I will love to invite you to my office and listen to all your oh-so-interesting talk about the way you treat your subordinates during reservist. I'll love to see just how much joy you can derive from that. And come to think of it, it makes me wonder how someone with such "articulate" use of the English language can expect to rise up to the pinnacle of society. Still, I wish you well.
Good luck.
Yours,
HW
p.s. But if you are just talkin cock, then just pretend that whatever I've said above are meant for someone else. Okie? :>
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, August 27, 2001 09:36 PM
Subject: hahaha
Oh so you are saying that my language is lousy. Look you are from Serangoon Junior College which is not RJC, NJC not even ACJC. So why talk about language, if you are really that good then you won't be in Arts and Social Science. Cut the crap of telling me that you wanted to study subjects from this faculty. The fact is your results sucks just like our junior college.
Next according to chapter 295 of the mindef directive a NS officer could charge people but first have a valid reason and next he got to discuss it with his immediate superior. Note I put it as discuss because it is as good as the guy would be charged, the only reason to inform superior is only for "show".
Sorry I forgot to tell you before I commissioned. I was once out of course and was appointed as a clerk and all this directive stuff, I know it at the back of my hand.
Moreover don't count your chickens before the eggs hatches, who knows that you may be earning a lot. You may fail your first year in University, you may get retained or this are possibilities that might happen. Once again don't tell me this would not happen. For people from RJC I think not but for people from SRJC it would be hard to say.
In addition just for your info if I sign on, even by the time I retire, I would be guaranted a place in the civil sector. The pay would somehow be the same as what I earn. But for you, you won't sign on because you don't have the rank, next I doubt you would have the physical ability to endure lastly as you are from SRJC, I doubt you have the capabilities.
Lastly, charge, extra duties and confinements are very common among NS MEN. In fact it is very easy to get these punishments. So I don't understand why you are saying, I can't punish you. Try complaining in the army and see what happen. Wow, are you thinking about downgrading, I think you better not, becos I do not want to have a friend that wanted to escape reservist by downgrading WHERE ARE YOUR BALLS.
I find it insulting and time consuming actually to be talking to you.
Yet there are some facts which I wish to highlight to you.
1. I am an officer while you are not
2. You may not be as successful as what you think
3. You can't escape the fact of having reservist unless YOU HAVE NO BALLS.
4. I do not wish to say this again I am an officer while you are NOT. This is already the fact which can't be changed. Yet what you had told me all the while was only what you intend to do but not exactly the fact.
I certainly hope that you must accept the fact that I am an officer and you are not. So what if I am a NS man, THE FACT IS MY RANK IS HIGHER THEN YOURS. Be in army for so long even for people from Yishun Junior College they should be able to understand that rank counts in the army so I see no reason for someone from SRJC not to understand it.
Regards D
----- -----
Dialogue Ends HERE
Postscript...
HS's REPLY:
hello. it may come as a surprise to u receiving this email. u do not knw me and neither do i u. it's just tt yr correspondence with another guy is being circulated all round spore. and i think u r really the laffing stock of saf. an nsf ocifer who thinks he's really damn big f**k. let me tell u, unless yr father is s r nathan, u r nothing u undstd anot?
yr command of the english language is almost zilch. and u have the audacity (dunno meaning ask yr dictionary) to say "who knows if I have an honour, I sign as a Major." pls stop dreaming u hokkien peng. saf must have koked up, as always, to have u as an ocifer. btw, the correct way to express yrself is "who knows? maybe i'll get an honours degree. then i'll sign on as a Major-jackass!!!" but i really hope u dun even dream about getting a degree, let alone honours, cos u have the mindset of a freaking 2 yr old. "i am ocifer. u low rank. u knock it dwn." <--- eh wake up u moron. did u have a troubled childhood?
i have lots more to write but i'll like to see wat u have to say with regard to the above. oh i hope u have the BALLS to reply though.
rest of u guys... feel free to voice yr opinions thru the net.
ciao
