I have just come across your website and I find it filled with objectionable thrash, things that I would term as "intellectual pornography". The views that you espouse are views that are parochial and clearly, not much thought went into them. Your persistent and often unfounded criticism of the Singapore government is unwarranted and perhaps reflects your level of maturity (or rather, immaturity). As a member of the esteemed Rafflesian family who is destined to assume stewardship of society, I implore you to stop writing this nonsense that is BrownTown. You are now a father of two children and surely, you must have some sense of responsibility. The written word is a powerful tool. Use it wisely.
That is all for now. I hope that you heed my advice and change for the better. I shall be more than happy to assist you in writing socially responsible articles should you wish to seek my help.
These are all funny, but the last one is a riot!! Ever spoken and wished that you could take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are a few people who do....
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store called "Nuts about You" that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me was screams of laughter.
A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX SUPER SIZE."
That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three- year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realised that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No."
I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any...? a true story...
We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
Hey, you must be a bloody wanker. You haven't been updating your website regularly you asshole! You think just because you have that column in Today/Streats (whatever crap tabloid you write for), you are now a hotshot writer. Please don't forget your roots ok. It's the readers like us that made you well known by recommending your site to our friends.
P.S. Your latest 2 SNEs were pretty lame. You can do better than that.