And you thought your job interview sucked, got this from Balderdash
Female: "Currently there's no set career path progression for client support officers within merrilll lynch although we hope to have one soon."
Female: "You will be rotated among a pool of front line financial consultants - some of them may be willing to mentor you and help you progress but most prefer a more hands off approach where you stick to the administrative and operational work."
Female: "Usually it takes up to 4-6 years before we can consider transferring you to other divisions."
Male: "There will be times when you have to sit in on behalf of the financial consultants at sales talks and market briefings to take notes while they're overseas talking to their clients. Don't worry, you're not expected to understand it."
Male: "You can probably pick up everything about this job within 1 year."
Female: "Not a lot of analytical thought is required; it's mostly processing and administrative support."
Female: "We're not trying to dissuade you from taking up a position with us."
Male: "Your current job sounds far more interesting than what we're offering."
And finally, the crème de la crème. The pièce de résistance:
Female: "You may have to run personal errands on behalf of the manager you're assigned to."
Me: "Like helping them photocopy documents or send mail?"
Female: "More like collecting laundry."
Long pause followed, as I struggled to maintain the principles of inner balance and the Ni To Ichi Way of Strategy which held me back from screaming over the phone, "YOU NEARLY CAUSED ME TO CRASH INTO FIERY AUTOMOTIVE DEATH DUE TO DRIVING AT BREAKNECK SPEED (again) BY TO GET HOME EARLY AND PREPARE FOR THIS BECAUSE YOU SCHEDULED A PHONE INTERVIEW AT THIS FUCKED UP HOUR AND YOU COME HERE AND SPEW THIS SHIT TO ME????"
Male (interjecting helpfully): "Not all the managers will expect you to do things like this, of course."
*fatalistically* At the end I ramped up my "expected pay" quotation to SGD$3800 and asked for a relocation allowance. They politely responded that they had some other candidates to consider and they would get back to me on that.
At least I can tell people that I told m. lynch to go f**k itself.