mrbrown.com

So that the dead can fly in comfort

Er, did we really need to know that "Singapore Airlines has equipped its new aircraft with special cupboards big enough to take a corpse in case any passengers die en route"?

"Singapore Airlines: You're a great way to die."

Excerpt:

Record longest flight flies in the face of its critics

Andrew Clark, transport correspondent
Tuesday June 29, 2004
The Guardian

A hardy group of 181 passengers boarded a jet at Singapore airport yesterday for the world's longest commercial flight - an inaugural non-stop service to New York designed to appeal to time-pressed Asian and American business executives.
After a champagne send-off accompanied by a band blasting out "New York, New York", the Singapore Airlines plane embarked on an 18-hour, 8,900 nautical mile journey over the North Pole which has drawn criticism from experts on medical and commercial grounds.

Airline staff handed out 20,000 red apples to mark the record, which uses a new ultra long-range Airbus A340-500 plane with enlarged wings, enhanced engines and a smaller, lighter body than traditional passenger aircraft.

Singapore Airlines said it would knock four hours off a one-stop service and would cut down on delays. A spokesman, John Cotton, said: "If you've got an intermediate stop-off point you're at the mercy of air traffic control and various other factors, which can be very inconvenient."

The new Airbus plane has a long enough range to fly non-stop between London and western Australia. But doctors have expressed concern about the impact on the body of such long unbroken flights, in which passengers will constantly breathe recycled air.

Experts said passengers had a greater chance of picking up viral infections such as flu and colds on board. Farrol Kahn, director of the Aviation Health Institute, said the heart and lungs would come under increased strain from a lower than usual supply of oxygen, with an enhanced risk of deep vein thrombosis (DVT) among people who fail to exercise frequently on board.

"We'd like to see doctors on board these very long flights," said Mr Kahn. "There is an increased risk of medical incidents across the board - whether it's heart attacks, DVT, fainting or alcohol abuse."

Singapore Airlines has equipped its new aircraft with special cupboards big enough to take a corpse in case any passengers die en route. (emphasis mine)

The planes are staffed by 14 cabin crew and six flightdeck officers, each working four-hour shifts. A special "passengers' corner" on board allows people to chat or "network" during the flight...

The Great Singapore Blackout II

Power was restored at my cheering estate at around midnight, two hours after the first blackouts.

Twice in one year, wow. Did someone forget to pay the National Electricity bill? Of course, we are told it was because of a natural gas disruption from Indonesia. Remember, not our fault, but it was the INDONESIAN gas. If we had our INDONESIAN gas, this would not have happened. Did I tell you it was an Indonesian gas disruption?

On my way home, I stopped at Mustafa's, bless their open-24-hour souls, and jostled with a big crowd trying to buy torches, batteries and candles at 11.30pm.

I got me a 40W fluorescent lantern (rechargeable), a powerful Krypton-bulb Energiser torch, and a whole lot of "D" cells (all my torches use big "D"s) and "AA" batteries (for the Gameboy).

Thankfully, the house already had two smaller torches, so Ginny could get some emergency lighting going without me (I was not home yet). And also, she got my trusty battery-operated fish tank air pump going too, which I bought the last time we had a power cut from the Lift Upgrading construction.

I almost died climbing 9 flights of stairs with my laptop bag and new lighting paraphernalia. High floor lah, buy high floor... see how fun it is when there is no lift working? Sigh.

Whining and dining Sumiko Tan

Read on a forum, apparently heard by the poster on NewsRadio 93.8FM.

Personally, I think she has every right to write whatever she wants about her comfort zone. I mean, we already read about her discomfort zone. Remember the hemorrhoids story?

Sorry, I could not resist. I promise to stop fixating on Sumiko Tan's hemorrhoids.


Heard over the radio last night after 11pm on the late show on NewsRadio ... sibeh hor chio ... not the exact words but to the same effect.

Guest Commentator (GC): I would to raise an issue about Sumiko Tan.

DJ Host (DJ): Oh... what about her?

GC: She can't seem to stop whining!?

DJ: What do you me-

GC: I mean, she was whining sometime back about journalists who served on the frontline in Irag (and other war fronts) and how she, here in Singapore, in her comfort zone, gets her newsfeed and can only imagine the brave war front journalists.

DJ: Well, sh-

GC: I mean, there are a lot of things to write about, rather than whining about her lack of life. Precious papers are wasted here ...

DJ: Trees are being killed.

GC: Instead of writing positive things to encourage people, she whined about her hemorroids, mum-not-at-home-so-I-have-to-cook-instant-noodles. She was just whining about how she can never be an entrepreneur, blah-blah-blah.

DJ: Looks like you have a crush on Sumiko Tan!

GC: Crush?! I just thot that having a column on Life ... she should be writing more positive things rather than whining.

Mommy, can you tell the PTI to not tekan me so much?

A little story about Civil Defence BRT (like BMT for Army NS). I kept it anonymous for a reason.

I cannot help but feel that we are breeding a nation of weak-kneed pussies after reading this. I mean one of the guys actually "called his mother, who actually drove down to complain" to their CO about the harsh physical training. In a Civil Defence camp.

What more do you want, kiddies? You get a National Service posting to Civil Defence (CD), that most Riflemen would give their right arm to get, and you still want to complain to your mommy that the bad bad PTIs are making you do more push-ups than you have ever done in your entire cushy student life, you pussified lardball of manhood?

Pass me a blanket, boys. We are going to have us a party tonight.

Excerpt:

…there has been a big problem going on in the camp. You see, ever since a few years ago, the civil defence has undergone a change. Civil Defence has always been known to everybody as being more slack than army, the punishments less severe and the officers not as evil. And its true. Even in the past, many years ago, civil defence was tough, but never as tough as the army. When I first entered civil defence, it was hard, but I endured. Not as tough as army, but the transition from civilian life to uniform life still takes some adjusting. The exercises (3 times a day because we're unfit people in Physical Training Phase) were difficult because I'm not used to it, but ultra-slack as compared to years ago and the army, so I heard.

Soon my muscles began to ache, but I was getting used to it. By the second week, I was more or less used to life in the Civil Defence, and I didn't really hate it. It helped me get fit, but didn't torture or humiliate me as much as the army would have. Not to say, of course, I enjoyed it more than I would working or studying. I don't like it THAT much to want to do it long term.

Anyway, I was getting to know people, getting to know my instructors etc. Most of the instructors are very nice people, and my corporal is one of the nicest guys around. Definitely much better than army. Then came the big event.

On Wednesday night, [deleted] Company (my company) got called to the Multi Purpose Hall. There the commander of the camp, the guy with the highest rank, asked us about our training. Most of us said it was tough, but we can take it. He asked us how many pushups we did, and some Malays said many many pushups, and many many more to go. Which was all right, but the commander asked for specifics. Then some people stood up and recounted the number of pushups done during training. The only problem being... some of them lied about it. They said that they did more than 20 at the swimming pool, when in actually fact it was only 10.(all of you who have gone through army, shush. I know its slack, but its not like anybody actually wants to do more pushups. It's CD, anyway. we have no choice) Even for CD 10 pushups is very easy already. Then a few people complained some more about the training.

Our Commanding Officer (guy in charge of [deleted] company) talked to us after that, and some people complained some more. The commanding officer said that those instructors weren't following instructions, and he would talk to them.

The next day the morning exercise was slack. And I MEAN easy. We did like a maximum of 60 jumping jacks, 10 burpees, and a few other exercises, but ZERO PUSHUPS then ran two rounds around the parade square, approximately 400 metres per round. Almost nobody broke out in sweat. It was easier than secondary school training. Everyone was shocked. During physical training later, we found out why. The physical training instructors (PTI)s had been scolded by the higher ups. Apparently two people complained separately to the camp commander, totally disregarding the hierarchy. You don't just go straight to talk to the camp commander. You talk to your sergeant, then if you're not satisfied up to your platoon commander, then company commander, then go higher up. Not straight to the camp commander. Even worse, another guy called his mother, who actually drove down to complain.

The PTIs were given a firm warning, and if they ever did not follow the book again and 'torture' us, they'd be sent to detention barracks (hell on earth. army detention barracks is hell in hell. both are much worse than prison). The PTIs now treat all of us like children. The give ultra easy training. BUT, they say they will be very, very strict when it comes to our NAPFA test. And without tough training, how are we to pass our NAPFA? I definitely can't, even if I run every night, training pullups and situps. The Physical Training lessons are also not fun anymore. In the past, even though the training was tougher, the PTIs really cared for our training. They did not go to the extremes, neither did they go easy on us. They would joke around with us, and I tell you PTIs can be very, very fun people, even if you're only a recruit.

Now, they wear a black face to every PT lesson. They don't care about the training, they just follow the book to the letter. They make sarcastic remarks like, "Don't run, don't run. What if you fall down and break your bone? Welfare, welfare."

Currently, all other companies are very angry with [deleted] company. My platoon is very angry with platoon 8 and 9, the platoons where the people who complained came from. Right now, all they're doing is wasting our time with such easy training. I can't stand it.

But hey, in 3 months time, I'll have my Passing Out Parade, where I finish my BRT (Basic Rescue Training. not BMT, which is for the army). THEN, I'll be very happy!

When you need a whisper quiet period: Kotex

A Kotex Rant at Skin Talk (site no longer there)

Very funny rant about Kotex ads. Who doesn't want to a New Freedom Lady? (Jingle found here?)

Excerpt:

Last night I saw a commercial about Kotex pads with new 'whisper-quiet' wrappers. Apparently not only is menstruation a dirty little event to be hidden from boys, it's also so filthy and embarrassing that the crinkle of a pad-wrapper in a public restroom is a shame to be avoided at all costs.

I thought I'd seen everything when I saw the Tampax commercial about the leaky boat plugged with a tampon by a quick-thinking girl in white pants. (Remember that one?) What is with you people? For God's sake, it's only menstruation! It's not like we leak hydrochloric acid every month!

Listening to Gavin FM

The sort of thing that excites an office of geeks. Gavin was trying out Michelle's iTrip on his iPod, and about three of us ended up tuning in to 88.7FM Gavin FM (with two Sony mini-radios and a Nokia phone, ain't technology grand?).

The song playing at the time of the shot was Fly Me to the Moon by Frank Sinatra. Sadly, the broadcast came to a halt when the newly created "radio station" had to temporarily pause transmission, because Gav had to go for lunch and he was not about to leave his iPod on his desk for nefarious characters to filch.

As you can see, the trials of operating a radio station in Singapore are many. Censorship, strict licensing, and lunch.

You can see the stress on the owner's face (actually, that is a too-much-Euro-2004 face).

Damn, I gotta get me an iPod.

Not the sharpest criminal minds of America

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Academy, please give it up for the Stupidest Criminals of America:

Wi-fi hopper guilty of cyber-extortion
Though he went to some lengths to make himself untraceable technically, past altercations between Tereshchuk and the company made him the prime suspect from the start, according to court records. The clearest sign came when he issued the $17m extortion demand, and instructed the company to "make the check payable to Myron Tereshchuk."

Blood-Soaked Wal-Mart Customer Charged With Murder
NAPLES, Fla. -- A man who walked into a Wal-Mart covered in blood and bought garbage bags Friday was charged with murder after authorities found a stabbed body in a trash bin.

Man Arrested After Confessing to Reporter
When detectives later asked Patterson why he visited the newspaper, he said he wanted to correct a detail from a story the newspaper published Sunday about the robbery: The truck he drove when he tried to rob the bank was burgundy - not green, as the paper reported police as saying.

Brunswick Police Find Bank Robbery Suspect Getting Haircut, Shave
Minutes after a Bank of America branch on Altama Connector was robbed by a man with a gun, James Eugene Blaze of St. Simons Island came into Mixon's barber shop in the Glynn Place Mall looking for a trim.

"We talked about the bank robbery, really, not knowing he was the one," Mixon (pictured, left) said. "Then, one of the other guys walks over and says 'Hey, they're looking for someone like you that's got on flip-flops (and a) goatee. Then the (customer) told me to go ahead -- if I had time when I got through -- to cut the goatee off."

Minutes later this barber realized this wasn't your normal cut.

"These six detectives come around the corner with big guns drawn and told me to step back," Mixon said.

EMJEM's gems on Censorship

EMJEM (eatmejusteatme) on censorship and a delicious bit at the end about ads in Singapore.

Excerpt:

There's something in the papers a couple of days back about how they're finally going to screen Sex and the City in Singapore , but it'll be subject to censorship.

Wait a minute and think this one through for a while: they're going to show Sex and the City, but they're still going to censor it.

So I guess everybody will be watching 27 minutes of commercials during each episode, then. I mean, you censor Sex and the City, this is what you're going to end up with:

Intro Credits. Famous theme music plays.

Shot of ad of Carrie on bus: [“Carrie Bradshaw knows good love”. Word ‘love' looks suspiciously modified by Singaporean censor's Photoshop tools. Hmm.]

13 minutes of commercials.

Carrie: “Hey Miranda, where are all the good men?”

Miranda: “I don't know.”

Carrie: “Oh my God, don't look now. It's Big.”

Miranda: [looking around] “Oh my God, where? Where?”

14 minutes of commercials.

End Credits. Famous theme music plays.

Bush in his undies: Fruit of the Loon

Bush checks out the Irish weather in his underwear. Found this on The Peking Duck, who found it on Eschaton. The comments section of this post is just as funny.

Calvin Klein should give the President of the United States a modeling deal, man. He looks so macho in his white undershirt. Even the BBC covered it.

Comment Excerpts:

"You could have gotten Bush shot"

You?? How about "He could have gotten himself shot?"

Didn't anybody ever tell Bush he should stay away from the windows? Especially while in his undies? Of course the ordinary person know this already but we're talking Dubya here.

---

The emperor has no clothes.

---

I'd rather have a bush shot of Condi than an underarm shot of Bush.

---

W's underwear ==> Fruit of the HeirLoom
W's philosophy ==> Fruit of the Looney
W's bank accout ==> Fruit of the Loot

BBC Excerpt:

The feeding frenzy did not last long. Within minutes, broadcasters were being ordered not to use the pictures, even though they were the most original images of the day.

A hastily written memo was delivered to all broadcasters, including the BBC.

"These pictures are the property of the Irish presidency and must not be used for transmission by any service," it said.

Just in case anyone was thinking of ignoring the instruction, it was written in bold, with capital letters and underlined.

It was too late for some broadcasters, who had excitedly rushed to air with the pictures of the blushing Mr Bush.

The authorities were not amused, and apparently made their feelings known to the cameraman involved.

"He'll probably be sent to Guantanamo Bay now," joked a fellow cameraman.

Find a better browser than Explorer, people

Time to look for a new browser, I think. Can't wait to get my new Powerbook G4 so I can move on to OS X Jaguar Panther Tiger, and use Firefox and Safari. Right now I am still stuck in OS 9 with my old but trusty Powerbook Pismo (it's a long story), and I'm probably the last OS 9 user in my company.

Excerpt:

Web browser flaw prompts warning

Microsoft has issued advice about the loophole

Users are being told to avoid using Internet Explorer until Microsoft patches a serious security hole in it.

The loophole is being exploited to open a backdoor on a PC that could let criminals take control of a machine.

The threat of infection is so high because the code created to exploit the loophole has somehow been placed on many popular websites.

Experts say the list of compromised sites involves banks, auction and price comparison firms and is growing fast.

Google Gmail banter

Two people having some boliao banter... (thanks YM)

Excerpt:

Phoenix (5:38 PM) :
i just realised that i now have 100MB email space on yahoo
Cybern (5:38 PM) :
yes, and i have 1Gb on Gmail
Phoenix (5:39 PM) :
how did u get that? apply with resume?
Cybern (5:40 PM) :
nopes... by invitation only
Phoenix (5:40 PM) :
how did u get invited?
Cybern (5:42 PM) :
ppl who've used gmail for some time can invite new users
Phoenix (5:42 PM) :
oic
Phoenix (5:43 PM) :
i hope next they'll come out with free 1GB web hosting service
Phoenix (5:43 PM) :
that will be so much more practical than free email
Cybern (5:44 PM) :
yeah... google says u'll never have to delete another mail wif gmail
Phoenix (5:44 PM) :
perpetual email archive
Cybern (5:45 PM) :
yeah, barring a nuclear attack on their harddisk farm
Phoenix (5:45 PM) :
or a huge magnet passing overhead

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban in 15 minutes

Not as funny as Troy in 15 minutes, but still good. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban in 15 Minutes by Cleolinda. Warning, contains spoilers and adult language.

Excerpt:

The Shrieking Shack

RON: Help! Help!

HARRY: We’re coming, Ron!

RON: Don’t help! Don’t help! It’s a trap!

HARRY: *eye roll*

BIG BLACK DOG: *turns into Sirius Black*

HERMIONE: If you want to kill Harry, you’ll have to kill us first!

HP FANS: OMGWTF THAT WAS RON’S LINE! YOU CHANGED THINGS FROM THE BOOK!

LOTR FANS: What are you, new?

Admit it, you loved these shitty movies too

Five shitty movies that everyone loves by maddox. Spot on and funny as heck. He rules.

Ever watch a blockbuster movie that blows so much that you feel like you have to scrape a layer of turd-shaped photons off the back of your retinas, yet everyone else in the universe can't wait to fellate the director of the big-budget shit festival you just watched? I know I'm not the only one who walked out of "Willow" thinking "too bad I don't know any midgets so I could remind them that the golden age of midgetry will soon pass and that I will always be taller." Just kidding, that was mean; there was no golden age of midgetry.

Karen's Blog

Stumbled upon this lovely blog after rummaging through someone else's referrer logs, a blog by Australian Chinese mom-of-one, Karen Cheng. Nice little snippets of life in Perth and her family. It also helps that she is quite a hottie. But don't tell my wife I said that.

Excerpt:

Callum LOVES pointing at strangers. It's his new thing. He'll squeal "Ooo! Ooo!" and frantically wave his hands around and points at them, until they wave back. If they don't... he scrunches up his nose and growls at them instead. It's very funny.

Yesterday I left Callum with my mum and spent a couple of hours sitting in a cafe reading a book. Hot coffee. Hot apple pie. The warm sun on my back. I plunged deep into a lush world of kings and magicians. Elves and dwarves. A journey of two boys through an alien invasion. I don't usually read fantasy novels. And I didn't enjoy Lord of the Rings. So I am surprised at how pleasant this book has been.

I resurfaced as the cafe staff began to stack chairs. Time had flown. The setting sun now throwing coins of light onto the wooden floors. The evening breeze slowly pushing the pockets of warmth from the windows. It has been a long time since I've felt so refreshed. And it felt goooood.

TODAY: Unwanted Business Spam

Latest TODAY column is: Unwanted Business Spam

Excerpt:

Singapore is planning to introduce an anti-spam law to supposedly help us fight [spam]. Hurray!

But before you celebrate, know this: The proposed law will let a business keep sending unsolicited email messages to a person until he tells them to stop. Never mind that spam costs us millions of dollars in lost productivity each year. It is up to you to tell them you want out, because, God forbid, we do not want to stifle e-commerce.

As Mr Charles Lim, principal senior state counsel in the Attorney-General's chambers, points out, we need to balance the need of local businesses to publicise themselves with the wish of computer users who do not want to be bugged by unwanted unsolicited mass-marketing email.

My response to this is -- how do I put it in the best non-computer jargon -- bollocks.

More Hand Chicken here

Looks like someone else noticed the hand chicken banners too.

Sticking it to the Man

Adri of the almost daily grind wonders what the Indonesian police were doing to Bashir prior to this.

byoli guesses, "bowling and a movie?"

Creepy Thirtysomething guy creates countdown site for Emma Watson

Ok, while I think Emma Watson, who plays Hermione in the Harry Potter movies, is going to grow up to become a real hottie, this thirty-seven-year-old guy's tribute site is just downright disturbing. He has a countdown on his site that tracks the number of days left to Miss Watson's 18th birthday.

Donald Nyffington names his computer equipment after characters in the Harry Potter books (his mouse is called Scabbs) and has done a drawing of Hermione, and even a poem:

Hermione, oh me, oh my
Oh my, oh me, for you I'd die
You charmed me with your wand and smile
And I've loved you for a long, long while
You raise your hand so high in class
I'd take you on a date, alas
You're not quite old enough and yet
My heart burns for you like a smoldering sunset

C'mon, now that's just wrong, man.

*shudder*

So what are you waiting for, Emma fans? As Donald says, "Now grab your wand and get counting!" Ewww.

Thank goodness the site is not for real. I recognised the photo of the supposed site owner and it was an image taken off The Onion, from an old article called "Children Creepy Middle-Aged Weirdos Swept Up In Harry Potter Craze".

Then again, there will always be childish adults into these things. Or not.

Thou shalt not choke the ladies toilet

Toilet under repair, do not cross this barrier...

Was having a meeting in a room near our office's third floor ladies toilet when we heard a racket coming from toilet. A plumber had been called in to do some major toilet bowl rescue work there. "What on earth could have been stuck in the ladies' loo that could choke it so bad?" we wondered.

Then we got the email from Admin. Edited for brevity and confidentiality, of course.

Well, hate to tell you this, but I was asked to go into the toilet on the 3rd floor to see the reason why the ladies toilet always gets choked. You cannot imagine, after a full Breako lunch of spaghetti to see the toilet bowl removed and have to stick my head to look inside because a SECURITY PASS was logged in it. Well, this may occur again as recently we had another case that was reported in the other ladies toilet, we'll handle that when it comes.

Might I suggest, in future that you let the admin person know that you have accidentally drop your pass into the toilet (hopefully after this message, will never happen again!), than at least when it gets blown up, we'll know better how to handle the situation.

I've been handling the security passes for 3 weeks, I have noted that we have very fast wear-out of the covers, be it hard or soft, all that I can say is be CAREFUL!!!! You have to wear the tag along with the lanyard as its a breach of security if you don't! Please do take care, cause it not only cost you $60 but may cost the company more if the building management decides to stuff the cost down our throat, afterall, they are holding the evidence!

I seek your cooperation to take care of the office and building property and thank you in advance!

Why I use webmail more than regular email

So I am not the only one who feels that web-based apps like webmail can sometimes be "better" than my regular email apps like Outlook and Entourage, despite the web's shortcomings. Or why I use an Xbox and Xbox Live (to start playing, turn on) to game, when a souped-up PC (to start gaming, boot up, launch game, fight off viruses, install drivers, etc) will give me better graphics and cheaper games ($5 OEM, ahem, PC games vs $70 Xbox originals).

Sometimes, high quality may not always mean it will become popular. Sometimes, good enough can be good enough to make a product popular with the masses, as long as it is simple to use.

Interesting views at Daring Fireball, with the article The Location Field Is the New Command Line

Excerpt:

I completely saw the potential of the Web as a publishing medium, but I just didn’t see how the Web was ever going to serve as a high-quality application development environment. The way I saw it, Microsoft killed Netscape not because it was a threat to Windows, but simply because they (Microsoft) wanted control over this new publishing medium.

I simply couldn’t have been more wrong. The conventional wisdom was in fact correct — the web has turned into a popular application development environment. Where I’d gone wrong was in getting hung up on the idea of it needing to be high-quality before it could become popular...

Exhibit A: web-based email apps. In terms of features, especially comfort features such as a polished UI, drag-and-drop, and a rich set of keyboard shortcuts, web-based email clients just can’t compare to desktop email clients.

But.

With web-based email, you can get your email from any browser on any computer on the Internet. “Installation” consists of typing a URL into the browser’s location field. The location field is the new command line.