Latest TODAY column: New era for S'pore but...
Excerpt:
By the time you read this, it will be a new day for Singapore. We will be led by Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong, with support from SM Goh Chok Tong and ... er ... MM Lee Kuan Yew.
I am glad they finally announced Minister Mentor Lee's new title. It ended a lot of coffee shop speculation and online forum discussion on possible titles (come on, guys — "High Overlord"?). And it definitely befits him as an "old political warrior" to guide and give advice.
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Full column:
New era for S'pore but...
By the time you read this, it will be a new day for Singapore. We will be led by Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong, with support from SM Goh Chok Tong and ... er ... MM Lee Kuan Yew.
I am glad they finally announced Minister Mentor Lee's new title. It ended a lot of coffee shop speculation and online forum discussion on possible titles (come on, guys — "High Overlord"?). And it definitely befits him as an "old political warrior" to guide and give advice.
Some of the suggestions that came from our “creative” online community (read: too much time in their hands) were:
• Really Senior Minister (RSM)
• Head of The Jedi Council (Watched too many Star Wars movies)
• Super-Senior Minister (SSM)
• Dad (Took the term Father of the Nation too literally)
• High Overlord (Played too many computer games)
• The One (Watched Matrix too many times)
So I am glad the Government did not consult these imaginative individuals for title suggestions.
My friends reminded me not to miss the 8pm live screening of the new Prime Minister’s swearing. Swearing IN, lah, bodohs.
I feel envy for the 1400 guests from all walks of life being invited to witness this grand event. Got chance to go Istana, got chance to take photo with new PM, got chance to eat good food. That’s so Singaporean, right? Have to think of the food.
Owing to the large number of guests, it was decided to hold the ceremony outdoors. That must have given the head of the security detail for the event many sleepless nights. Stress, man.
I do have to express two objections to the whole thing, though.
One, if you look at the program listing for Channel 5 for Thursday night, 12 August 2004, you will see that at 8pm, the program is “Swearing In Of The Prime Minister And The Cabinet”. Immediately after that, at 9pm? “Just For Laughs Gags IV”
Hello?
My second objection? No holiday. I really think Singaporeans need a day to celebrate the successful transfer of leadership, and to reflect on how they as fellow citizens of Singapore, can play a more active part in securing the future of Singapore, which is their home, Shirley (Insert “Home 2004” video here).
Also, I need to go to Sim Lim to buy some computer cables, and a holiday would be really helpful.
I, for one, really enjoyed my National Day long weekend. On National Day itself, my family had a picnic at one of our fine Nature Reserves (don’t tell you where, or all 20,000 of you will go there too, and spoil it for us. Yes, I very kiasu).
It was like a scene out of those National Songs videos. Five families having a picnic in a beautiful green haven, eight children running on the grass, screaming their heads off, one of them throwing up on a poncho, a father dropping his handphone into the reservoir, Gin Rummy with seedless grapes as money (actually as forfeit)… ok, maybe not entirely like a National Song video. But close enough.
Then at night, some of us adjourned to my home, bought dinner from the kopi-tiam downstairs, watched the National Day Parade together, and viewed the fireworks from my kitchen window. Followed by a screening of Singapore Idol, where we almost laughed our dinner out of our noses.
I never knew there were so many ahem, talents, in Singapore. I mean, I watched the American Idol, and thought, ok, they have millions of people there, so it is understandable that you would get some major weirdos showing up for auditions.
But Singapore is only a small little island, man. Where do these koo-koo people come from? We need to get them some professional help, man!
I am sure a few of you took one look at some of the “less-talented” contestants and said to yourself: “Hey, that guy is my neighbour, man!” And promptly went to double-lock your door.
You see, it is different watching Singapore Idol. None of us know the Amercian Idols. But those Singapore Idol people we were watching (in horror and disbelief), were probably people we know —our own countrymen, our relatives, our friends, our stalkers. But that’s what makes it compelling, funny and scary, all at the same time.
I hope we did not invite any of these kooky contestants for the Swearing In ceremony. The last thing you want is one of the invited witnesses running up on stage when the new PM is being sworn in, and grabbing a mike to sing and dance a sexy dance in his underwear. Ewwww.
Now THAT would have given the head of the security detail a real fit.
mr brown is the accidental author of a popular website that has been documenting the dysfunctional side of Singapore life since 1997. He is still recovering from eating too many grapes because he kept losing at Gin Rummy.
