With lines like "Besides shooting out a big blank from your buttock, you can feel as if your root chakra leaked sweet hot mucus," I predict this book will become a bestseller:
How to Good-Bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday.
Malarkey? or Effective Way?
by Hiroyuki Nishigaki
(also found here)
I mean, check out the reviews!
On the right track, but.... November 13, 2003
Reviewer: alexander blake from singapore
100 times is clearly too few, and who has time for more?
And by the way you can't do this in meetings at work. I've tried.
Effective way? Most certainly! September 25, 2002
A wonderful treatise on depression and a valuable resource for anyone, I can personaly attest to Mr. Nishigaki's methods. By following his instructions implicitly, I have banished the dark clouds under which I suffered for years, and have integrated his practices completely into my life. Even as I sit and type this review I am busy constricting my anus and counting, 80,81,82,83....... ooops!
Rectal Awareness for Mental Health February 20, 2002
Reviewer: A reader from San Diego, CA
This book is better than lithium. I was depressed for years until I came across Mr. Nishigaki and his incredible anus book. I was skeptical at first, but after only a week of the recommended anus exercises, I could feel my spirits lifting, my buns firming and my blank-shooting ability reaching new heights. It's now been three months since I began the program, and I feel as if I've finally mastered my emotions. Nope, no more crying jags at the liquor store...for me. Instead, whenever I get down or feel as though I might need to abuse myself, I simply stop, concentrate on crushing the imaginary walnut in my anus and-BLAMMO!-all depressing and/or criminal thoughts are gone in a single squeaky fart. Of course, the resultant hemorrhoidal burning and itching can suck a bit, but I just think of it as the price one has to pay for rectal sanity.
Hilarious!! Buy it now!! April 22, 2001
Reviewer: Brian Williamson from Seattle, WA USA
I've only had this book for a day or so, and I haven't even thought about reading it from start to finish, but it is pretty gosh darn funny. At the end of the book, the author (Niroyuki Nishigaki) thanks everyone for "finishing reading what I have written in bad English." Bad English indeed! I'll share one of my favorite lines with you and if you think it's funny, I suggest you purchase this book.
"Besides shooting out a big blank from your buttock, you can feel as if your root chakra leaked sweet hot mucus."
That line doesn't make any sense, but it's pretty great. Sometimes I like to open the book up to random pages and read passages for a good laugh. Enjoy!
via Boing Boing