From matchboxinme:
1. While on an overseas mission in a land far far away, fall asleep during guard duty. Wake up to discover that two rifles, one M203 and one SAW to be exact, are missing from the inventory list.
2. Agitate your sergeant, thereafter whack him with a chair, ala WWE. The sergeant will kick you back and viola the both of you will be in the same cell.
3. Go on a long hoilday. Do not inform your unit or anyone and keep your handphone off at all times. Do not apply for exit permit or get leave approval as well.
4. Go around bunks and steal packets of instant noodles. The best is steal it from someone of higher rank than you.
5. Have sex with an underage girl while being on AWOL.
6. Drive a SAF vehicle and ram the pillar while reversing.
7. Use vulgar language and threaten sergeant with a knife when the sergeant refuse to let you book out.
8. Assault your sergeant when asked to perform a task and when asked for the reason for assault, assault further.
9. Have "bad parents" that will blow the whistle on you when you are sleeping at home instead of reporting for training.
10. Lie to your superiors about having to visit a relative in hospital and then head on to Zouk instead.
* the above mentioned ways are tried and tested and the accused are currently serving out their sentence in our posh detention barracks
(Thanks to Clement!)
