mrbrown.com

Oh dear, nasty accident

At the junction of Upper Serangoon and Bartley Road. 11.30am.

One of those days

When you spend the whole week rushing out work, staring at a computer screen till 2am in the morning for the 3rd consecutive night, good-morning-ing good-bye-ing the wife and kids only in the morning and seeing them at night when they are asleep... a day like this wipes out a week of care.

First, breakfast with the missus and taking her to her facial in the morning, an hour at Funan, picking up a new TV series to watch with the wife, an afternoon swimming with the kids (even mommy and grandma swam), and squeezing in 20 laps yourself, and then dinner in the evening with the whole family by the sea, and this lovely setting sun...

Not every Saturday is like this, of course. You get the shitty weekends too.

I even have a new Dvico TVix harddisk-based media player waiting at home for me to fill with stuff later -- 300gb of entertainment for the missus on those nights I work late.

Like I said, one of those days.

browncast: 16 June 2006: the mostly real news

A Mostly Real News report from the mrbrown show, made up of real news headlines. We just made up the rest.

This mrbrown show is sponsored by yearbook.com.sg, Singapore's very own "School Reunions" site.

Audio file for the mrbrown show 16 June 2006: the mostly real news
(MP3, File size: 2.1mb, Time: 00:04:34)

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Technorati tags: singapore, mrbrown, podcast, podcasting

Singlish also must remember to verb conjugation one, ok?

Interesting comment left by "John" recently on one of my older posts from last year (TODAY: Our English no standard, lah!).

It's interesting that defenders of Singlish often point to how linguists define singlish as a dialect of english. Ok, so a bunch of scholars decide that Singlish fulfills their criteria to be called a dialect of English--what does that say about whether English speakers in traditionally native-speaker countries actually understand Singlish? Just because botanists consider the cucumber a fruit and not a vegetable doesn't mean that we should start including cucumbers in 'fruit salad'.

If Singlish were just a matter of using localized vocabulary for local things there wouldn't be an issue at all. American english has 'kvetch' where other english speakers might say "gripe", Australians call barbecues 'barbies'.

However, I think we can all see that Singlish is more than just that. Consonants are dropped, consonants that are often important in distinguishing minimal pairs in English. Vowels that again distinguish minimal pairs in English are also mispronounced. It's one thing to drop the 'g' in 'shopping' cos 'shoppin' isn't a separate word. Already, Americans and Brits confuse each other (Brits confuse Americans more I guess) with their different pronunciations of the "o" in pot and the british (besides northerners) dropping their final 'r's'. However, Singlish-speakers take this further--sometimes, no effort is made to differentiate 'peak' from 'pig', 'pick' or 'peek'. Same goes for 'fit' vs 'feet'. Another thing that separates Singlish from other varieties of English usually considered native speaker English is the significant difference in syllable stress. Where other English speakers would say "COL-league", singlish speakers say "cuh-LICK". Word stress is also used less frequently by Singlish speakers to convey different shades of meaning, giving way to lahs, mehs, lors, whose meanings are completely lost on English speakers. For e.g. "Hey, that's your SPEAKer" or "Hey, that's YOUR speaker", Singlish speakers say "That one your speaker LEH" or "That one your speaker WAAHT".

Basic English verb conjugation is also not observed. It's one thing to adopt 'tekan' as a verb. It's quite another to say 'I tekan, he tekan, she tekan, i tekan him yesterday' instead of 'I tekan, he tekans, she tekans, I tekaned him yesterday'. Just because 'kvetch' is a Yiddish loan word into American English doesn't mean Americans don't conjugate it into "he kvetches, she kvetches, I kvetched about it all day yesterday".

Some people seem to want to have their cake and eat it too: speak their own version of English, unconcerned with how close it is to the standard, and yet balk at the possiblity that some people might rightfully consider Singlish to be more an English creole than an English dialect. Just because there isn't THE bible for English grammar doesn't mean that there aren't any rules at all. Many Singlish speakers like to set up straw man arguments where they pit Singlish against an overly formal, strained, verbose version of English.

Basically, if you want to speak an English creole as opposed to an English dialect, don't be surprised or upset if native speakers of English don't understand you or don't consider you native speakers of English.

TODAY: Conversations in the field

Latest TODAY column: Conversations in the field

(This was last Friday's column. I forgot to post it here, sorry hor. -mb)

Excerpt:

Men on reservist are very well-read. Newspapers and magazines are shared and read, and re-read by a captive audience who have no other forms of entertainment.

Popular with the men are technology magazines with skimpily-clad women (we read it for the technology articles, ok?) and women's magazines (need to know how women think). Usually, one or two of us will supply the whole day's papers — from broadsheets to free tabloids — and these are circulated among about 30 men who take turns to read them. This means that for the two weeks that we are on our sacred and national duty, we are also at our most well-informed. On a regular working day, most of us have little time to give the papers more than a cursory glance, or we get our news online for free. But here, Singapore news, Asia news, world news, Arts Festival coverage, and of course, World Cup news, are perused and mulled over. Some of the topics become talking points over lunch or tea breaks, or in a "Man-truck" (it's not what you think) in the field.

Live from the Jamie Cullum concert

We're at his great concert, and he is even belter live. So far, he's broken the piano a bit, and did a version of So Sick and Kanye West's Golddigger that rocked.

We are currently singing back up (ba ba bada ba) with him. Fun stuff.

A few more photos here.

Singapore beats Malaysia and North Korea in World Democracy audit

I am sorry to find this out so late, but it is my pleasure to announce that Singapore beat Malaysia and a host of other countries like Uganda, Dem. Rep. of the Congo and Sierra Leone. We were number 83 out of 149 positions, a good number ahead of Malaysia's 93rd position. We almost beat Mauritania (81st) and Bhutan (82nd) too. Better luck next time!

Go Singapore!

See the whole thing here.

Of course we all know that these freedom indexes are compiled by people with too much free time in their hands, and who do not have a clue about the unique conditions of Singapore.

But we beat Malaysia! Yeah!

(News of our win courtesy of Mr Wang)

MOE ad seen in The Guardian newspaper

Quick, native speakers of English! You have one more day to apply to Mould the Future of Our Nation!

Sorry, you Singaporean native speakers will not get a relocation allowance if you are living in Jurong and need to teach in Punggol. Actually you cannot even apply, because the ad is for a UK audience.

I particularly liked the precise way they described some of the requirements:

...Humanities (e.g. English Literature, Geography, History, etc.)

...English (e.g. PGCE, TESOL, TEFL, etc.)

...or relevant teaching subject (e.g. Geography, History, etc.)

Etc., etc., etc.

The ad in The Guardian's classifieds:

Organisation: MINISTRY OF EDUCATION SINGAPORE

Location: Asia & Australasia
Salary:
Date posted: 15 May 2006
Closing date: 15 Jun 2006

Ministry of Education
Moulding the Future of Our Nation

Be Different.
Teach in Singapore.

The Ministry of Education (Singapore) is looking for experienced, qualified native speakers of English to teach English as a first language, English Literature, Geography, History, Knowledge and Inquiry

We are looking for teachers who:
- Hold a relevant degree in English Language or Humanities (e.g. English Literature, Geography, History, etc.)
- Have a recognised Teaching Certificate in teaching English (e.g. PGCE, TESOL, TEFL, etc.) or relevant teaching subject (e.g. Geography, History, etc.)

Newly qualified teachers are encouraged to apply but they MUST have completed the induction year.

You can look forward to:
- An attractive remuneration package (including medical and dental benefits, and bonus upon successful completion of contract), depending on qualifications and verifiable working experience
- Relocation allowance (one-time baggage and lodging allowance, free economy air passage for candidate, spouse and 2 children below the age of 18 to Singapore on first appointment)
- Return air passage upon successful completion of contract
- Interest-free settling-in loan

You can view the video recording of our online career seminar held on 23 April 2006 on the website.

All terms and conditions are subject to review and change from time to time without prior notification. The Ministry of Education (Singapore) reserves the right to decide on the terms and conditions to be offered. No reasons will be provided for selection and non-selection of candidates.

Kenny Sia drops by

Femes Malaysian blogger Kenny Sia was in town recently, and dropped by our office with his friend Mia, to catch up with Miyagi and me.

Sorry we made you visit so late that night, dude. What to do, we got many many work to do lah.

In case you're wondering, Miyagi was showing a rough cut version of the WTF! Show Episode 1 that I am doing post on. And that hairy thing you see in the foreground is a Rycote Softie Windshield covering the AT897 shotgun mic mounted on one of the Sony HDV video cams (an HVR-A1) we use to shoot the show with.

KFC cures breast cancer, for $9.95 with 2 free drinks!

Unfortunate Newspaper Ad Placement #119: Spotted by an alert Mr Tan in TODAY newspaper.

Endorsed by Superman, and available in Original and Crispy recipe, a safer drug to cure breast cancer has been found. Do let the counter staff dispensing the Buddy Meal prescription know if you do not want breast meat. Thank you and have a nice day!

browncast: smile and speak good english

We need to be a nation of good English speakers and also brush up on our smiling, then can be a global city mah.

(Warning, contains coarse language spoken by a native speaker and may not be suitable for minors and the linguistically conservative)

This mrbrown show is sponsored by yearbook.com.sg, Singapore's very own "School Reunions" site.

Audio file for the mrbrown show 14 June 2006: smile and speak good english
(MP3, File size: 2.4mb, Time: 00:05:10)

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browncast: the mrbrown show 12 June 2006: tempted to break the law

Update 2: Fixed. The show is downloadable again.

Update 1: Our podcast host is experiencing a service interruption which is why today's show may not be downloading. We apologise for the downtime, and will inform you once their hardware issue at the data center is resolved.

The other day, a friend of ours was tempted — tempted to break the law.

This mrbrown show is sponsored by yearbook.com.sg, Singapore's very own "School Reunions" site.

Audio file for the mrbrown show 12 June 2006: tempted to break the law
(MP3, File size: 3.8mb, Time: 00:04:25)

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Maxian T600: 30gb of video goodness

30gb hard disk, a gorgeous high-res 4-inch lcd screen, and the ability to play just about all video formats (except Quicktime and Realplayer) - meet the Maxian T600 portable media player from Korea.

This little sucker does music and photos too. USB OTG feature means you can connect your digital camera (or card reader) via USB and transfer photos directly without a PC. You can even drag and drop VOB files, which are native to DVDs, or DAT files from VCDs, and play them without conversion.

The T600 also has a Monitor mode, which allows you to connect other devices to it and use it a like a monitor. AV-OUT lets you play your movies on your TV (handy for watching your movies on the hotel room TV), AV-IN lets you record from your TV or cable set-top box (in 640 by 480 avi format).

The battery is detacheable and is supposed to last more than 6 hours for video and more than 14 hours for music. So you can purchase extra batteries for long-haul flights.

The company seems very on-the-ball about firmware updates, which hopefully means that new versions of video codecs like DIVX will always be playable on the T600.

Getting media files on the unit is as simple. Just connect it to the PC or Mac via USB and it mounts as an external hard drive.

The 4-inch 16:9 widescreen 480 by 272 WQVGA TFT screen really rocks (same resolution as Sony PSP's screen). Wide viewing angle, very sharp and bright, in 24-bit colour. I recently tried watching anime on the 2.2 inch screen of an Archos Gmini 400 and while the quality of the Archos screen was great, it was way too small to see the subtitles. That will not be a problem on this model.

Sweet.

Forum discussions here and here. Other competing models in this price range and form factor are the Cowon A2 (review), Archos AV500 (review) and the Creative Zen Vision (review).

browncast: reservist talk

brown and Miyagi talk about reservist training, toys and how if you collect enough booger, you can roll it into a ball, and maybe set fire to it.

This mrbrown show is sponsored by yearbook.com.sg, Singapore's very own "School Reunions" site.

Audio file for the mrbrown show 9 June 2006: reservist talk
(MP3, File size: 8mb, Time: 00:18:17)

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I dare you to try these buffalo wings

My reservist mates and I ate at Jerry's, along Jalan Kayu, and Cpl (Res) Foo recommended their speciality, the super spicy Buffalo Wings.

Comes in Smoked, Intense and Chef's Challenge, which is, in order of spiciness, Mild, Hot and Insert Hokkien Vulgar Word of Your Choice Here.

I, never one to turn down a Chef's Challenge, of course tried the hottest wings. And with typical brown luck, my first bite into the wing sent a drop of the chilli paste flying past my glasses, into my freaking eye.

After washing the fire out of my left eyeball, I tucked in, and proceed to set the rest of my face on fire.

My face went red, my lips throbbed then went numb, and then my tongue wanted to run to the nearest fire hydrant.

Half a glass of water later, I started to enjoy it, as well as my grilled Rainbow Trout set lunch later.

Seeing my reaction, LCP (Res) Ray decided that it to play it safe to surgically remove the chilli-soaked skin of his wings with his steak knife.

Ha! Chicken.

All gay people take drugs one

At least that's the impression I got from this article. So all you promising doctors take note. Wait you become unpromising then you know.

Maybe when they are done catching the promising doctors who descend into the downward spiral of "gay sex and drugs", they can start catching the ones who descend into the downward spiral of straight sex and drugs.

And last on the list would be those who don't have sex at all, but take drugs.

Big Fat Duh disclaimer: mr brown is not suggesting that you take illegal drugs. Nor is he promoting or unpromoting gay sex, for that matter.

Staple Canteen fare

You must eat this quietly.

browncast: gor

A friend's gor (older brother) got a place Singapore Business School. Dunno why not happy leh.

This mrbrown show is sponsored by yearbook.com.sg, Singapore's very own "School Reunions" site.

Audio file for the mrbrown show 7 June 2006: gor
(MP3, Filesize: 1.0mb, Time: 00:02:15)

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TODAY: It's every NSman's yearly rite of passage

Latest TODAY column: It's every NSman's yearly rite of passage

Excerpt:

The thing that strikes me most about in-camp training is meeting people from all walks of life. Between waiting for the next instruction from your superiors, there is ample time to talk and find out about each other. Executives, businessmen, bus drivers, technicians, insurance agents, property agents, bak chor mee hawkers, columnists ... we all hang out together for two weeks — brought together by this yearly rite of passage. It is a great leveller of men, this event.

By and large, everyone does what they need to do. There is no rah-rah patriotism, although I am sure we know our duty, but more of a stoic sense of "we're here, we've got to be here, so let's co-operate and get this done quickly so we can all go home on time and safely to our families and loved ones".

browncast: going to a singapore business school

An American friend of ours got a place in a Singapore Business School. Dunno why not happy leh.

This mrbrown show is sponsored by yearbook.com.sg, Singapore's very own "School Reunions" site.

Audio file for the mrbrown show 5 June 2006: going to a singapore business school
(MP3, Filesize: 1.2mb, Time: 00:02:35)

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