Update: The little one didn't make it. But thank you all for all the love. Comments are closed for this post.
We did not expect this one. The wife had already given away most of the baby things after Joy turned four.
Then, a few weeks ago, the wife said, "I think you better pick up a test kit." I rode my bicycle to the 24-hour shop on the way home from work at around 11pm. We've had a few false alarms before so I didn't think much of it. Just another test kit to buy. I think 7-Eleven makes a ton of money from me.
By the time I got home, the wife was already in bed, almost asleep.
"Aren't you going to use the test kit?" I asked.
"Tomorrow," she said, sleepily.
In the morning, I asked her if she used it. No, she said, she was hurrying to work. She would do it later that night.
I spent the day at work, wondering if we were going to see that extra line. Then the call came, when I was out of the office.
"I think I am pregnant," she said over the phone. She was crying. I think it was a mix of happiness and apprehension. I rushed home.
We saw our gynae the next day. The scans only showed a yolk sac. This was the first time we had ever seen him/her this early. The first time we saw our other three children on the monitor, we saw their heartbeats.
"Come back in ten days," said Dr Lim cheerily.
Easy for him to say. It was a very long ten days for me.
Then the day came, and Dr Lim began the scan. My eyes were searching for movement. And there it was. And my own heart skipped a beat.
"There is the fetal pole," he said, "And let's see if we can hear the vibrations from the heartbeat."
The rhythm of the beat filled the tiny room. I was not sure if I was hearing that or my own heart. You'd think, after having three kids, this stuff gets old. It never does. And it never fails to reduce me to a nervous wreck.
We are still not out of the woods yet. That 12-week stage is another important milestone. But we are hopeful. And terrified all at the same time.