In the light of all the uncertainty over the Commonwealth Games in New Delhi, India, I thought I'd offer Singapore as an alternative venue for the Games. Here are the Top Ten reasons:
Why Singapore is ideal replacement venue for the Commonwealth Games #1: Our government is very good at evicting NTU students from their hostel fast. We can make it an instant village overnight.
Why Singapore is ideal replacement venue for the Commonwealth Games #2: We still have GIVE WAY to YOG road markings. Easy to change to GIVE WAY to CWG.
Why Singapore is ideal replacement venue for the Commonwealth Games #3: Our motorists are already used to road closures and traffic jams. Hey, what's a fourth one this year?
Why Singapore is ideal replacement venue for the Commonwealth Games #4: Our street names show a deep colonial hangup.
Why Singapore is ideal replacement venue for the Commonwealth Games #5: We have a road called Commonwealth Ave.
Why Singapore is ideal replacement venue for the Commonwealth Games #6: Your athletes will feast like kings and our volunteers… will be fed too.
Why Singapore is ideal replacement venue for the Commonwealth Games #7: We will only overrun our budget by 3 times. And our Minister will tell you it's worth it.
Why Singapore is ideal replacement venue for the Commonwealth Games #8: We have a great bulk discount on fireworks.
Why Singapore is ideal replacement venue for the Commonwealth Games #9: We don't mind if other countries pull out. More medal chances for us.
Why Singapore is ideal replacement venue for the Commonwealth Games #10: You will only see muddy brown shit-like water when we have freak floods. Which is once in 50 years.
