mrbrown.com

Star Awards 2012 twitter roundup #starawardssg

When you are at your in-laws on a Sunday night with the tv on, it is always fun to collectively watch something like Star Awards 2012 with your twitter gang. It's like watching it in the void deck with all the snarky uncles and aunties. Here are the tweets from the #starawardssg hashtag:

1. @mrbrown: I heard later got Jay Park on #starawardssg Where is Jay Walk and Jay Run?

2. @mrbrown: Jay Park > Jay Chou? Discuss.

3. @mrbrown: Rui En prettier than all the other Mediacorp actresses COMBINED? Discuss.

4. @mrbrown: I hope the most hardworking star at #starawardssg wins tonight. Yes, I am talking about Botox.

5. @miyagi: Smoking strictly prohibited at #starawardssg cos artistes' hair products will catch fire (and all will look like David Gan).

6. @mrbrown: Most Annoying Thing Award goes to the Dongdongdongdongdongdong sound effect at #starawardssg

7. @PamElanessa: #starawardssg the most Hao Lian Actress Award goes to…

8. @miyagi: #StarAwards2012 is at MBS tonight so #starawardssg stars got 3G signal to read the horrible stuff you say about them 'live'!

9. @iuhHA__: One award two person take got 意思 meh?" Stupid right?

10. @mrbrown: Elvin Ng has armbands on his suit because he scared the sleeves fall off ah?

11. @timsty_: So the 红星大奖 won the 红星大奖? Sounds legit. (红星ception -mb)

12. @mrbrown: Tay Ping Hui won Chow Chee Hong Xing Jiang. (sorry, my hanyu pinyin not so good)

13. @socialpr: Why they only show head shot of Ann Kok? (Isn't that her best asset? -mb)

14. @miyagi: Joanne Peh wins best performance in a budget airline commercial. (Dun bluff! -mb)

15. @gohg: The #starawardssg tweets r hilarious, esp those by @miyagi and @mrbrown (Maybe we can get Chow Chee Bai Xing Jiang 超级白星奖 -mb)

16. @mrbrown: Chen Hanwei forgot to tuck his skirt into his pants. I think.

17. @mrbrown: Why do the men at #starawardssg look like the makeup artist tripped and spilled talcum powder on their faces?

18. @miyagi: Was it not "Unriddle"? RT @absody: Congrats to Rebecca Lim! Her performance in Riddle is damn good can! (Prequel? -mb)

19. @mrbrown: @AmazingKumar for Queen of Caldecott Hill!!

20. @miyagi: No need. He Queen of whole country.

[photos via xinmsn and TODAY]

And we're gonna make you lose your mind

Youtube link: http://mrbrwn.co/wGfVqr

Wife: "You and; the kids and your Party Rock song in the car last night. Now I can't get the "Party Rock is in the house tonight" lyrics and tune out of my head."

8-year-old son: "Sorry for Party Rocking."

Youtube link: http://mrbrwn.co/IjvtXD

A Day of Flambé

Today the sky was azure blue
And the clouds like cotton candy;
The sunset danced in orange hue
But damn hot, can? Armpits sweaty!

Traditional media still the best platform for national debate, says traditional media

Cool Story, Bro!

As a Chinese saying goes, 老黄卖瓜，自卖自夸。

Some choice comments from my (non-traditional media) Facebook wall:

Miyagi: "Like masturbator calling himself world's greatest lover."

Fletcher: "That's new to me, I didn't know a debate is a monologue."

Lee JS: "Wa lau... I just spat out my lunch when I saw this."

Callan: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Ahh sst sst ooh sst sst

Ahh sst sst ooh sst sst is the sound you make in the toilet after having a Double McSpicy burger.

JCube, Jurong's Jaunty Jewel of Jollification and reJuvenescence

From the website for Jurong's new mall, JCube (emphasis theirs):

"And the name JCube, already reflects every bit of its role.

The ‘J’ stands for ‘Jurong’, the mall’s location in Jurong while ‘Cube’ epitomises the architectural concept of the mall - a six-sided development with façade walls designed to resemble an ice cube.

The name also connotes the mall’s multi-faceted offerings and the Juxtaposition of enJoyable shopping and sports in Jurong."

Wah, "enJoyable" also counted ah?

MethJnks thou art tryinJ too hard, Capitaland.

In Singapore, our domestic helpers have no names…

…just product numbers.

PM texts Hillary too

Inspired by the Texts from Hillary tumblr.

See Hillary party in Colombia, and the story behind the Hillary meme.

[Original Hillary Clinton image by Kevin Lamarque for Reuters.]

I hope it wasn't English that she teached

From the Twitter account of Miss Universe Malaysia:

"Our Miss Universe Malaysia 2012, Kimberley Leggett has teached for Malaysia. Will you Teach for Malaysia?"

One day. I also hope to has teached for Malaysia. World peace!

[via the Pls Revert tumblelog]

What I Had for Dinner

I thought it was sweet of PM to share what he had for dinner on Facebook. But the Straits Times thought it newsworthy enough to publish as news:

Really, ST? "Breaking News: PM posts dinner menu on Facebook"?

Hey ST, last night for dinner, I had Nasi Goreng Ayam Paprik & Teh-Orh Ice Limau Kurang Manis. No fruit. In case you need news.

Maybe the headline tomorrow will be, as @lynnylchan says, "Breaking News: Noted blogger admits to not eating fruit!"

Here are some choice tweets from #whatihadfordinner:

1. @humswhilepeeing: Chicken Chop with Potato Salad and Fries. No fruits. #whatihadfordinner #thuglife

2. @yanyi_: Economic rice #whatihadfordinner

3. @jeffcheong: Bread with traffic jam. #whatihadfordinner

4. @kosongice: I had chap chye peng with sweet and sour fish dish leh. Considered got fruit not ah? #whatihadfordinner

5. @sashizoso: KFC double down sandwich Need to go for a heart bypass now. Definitely no fruits. #whatihadfordinner

6. @Jemkhoo: my mum's yong tau foo #whatihadfordinner

7. @_underjoyed: #whatihadfordinner Hong Kong claypot from Amoy, seriously good!

8. @SonicShadow: Cookhouse food from Jurong Camp I. I don't know if you can consider the fruits there as "fruits." #whatihadfordinner

9. @raining_on: #whatihadfordinner Ice cream. Life is short, eat dessert first. Also definitely had fruits, it was strawberry ice cream. :D

10. @omgitsjosie: Cigarettes and wine. Grape is a fruit right? #whatihadfordinner

11. @groovemonkey: Rib-eye with gorgonzola butter, Lyonnaise potatoes and a caesar salad. And wine. lots of wine. #whatihadfordinner

12. @Aleeshstaaa: #whatihadfordinner yesterday, the day before and the day before: cup noodles.

13. @quitemindy: I haven't had dinner yet. So #whatihadfordinner will be breaking news later with live status updates. (Journalists standby! -mb)

14. @MizHalle: #whatihadfordinner Sushi, and a mango. I am the only person on my friends list who eats fruits daily!

15. @bmc_stephen: #whatihadfordinner last night? Kweitiaw goreng di Jakarta. Same as char kwek tiao bo harm (no cockles)…

16. @rebeccawang316 I had chicken katsu curry at Liang Court basement. Can't afford the fruits. Watermelon costs S$49/pc in meidi-ya. #whatihadfordinner

17. @isftish: #whatihadfordinner chye tau kuey. Kuey means fruit right?

18. @Futurachel: #whatihadfordinner? Antibiotics.

19. @omgitsjosie: This would be a good time to launch my cooking blog http://riotinthekitchen.tumblr.com #whatihadfordinner

20. @sonydjuana: #whatihadfordinner I ate fruitella, that is fruit right?

21. @kixes: #whatihadfordinner Rice and egg and some tofu. No fruits but I ate with my mum, who can be a fruitcake.

22. @hai_ren: #whatihadfordinner Burger King Whopper meal. Do tomato ketchup and iced lemon tea count as "fruits"?

23. @iUnspoken: French Fries. Potatoes are fruits too you know. #whatihadfordinner

24. @cheanliang: I had the world's most expensive laksa, exported all the way to Switzerland. http://instagr.am/p/JwrOJ3jfv0/ #whatihadfordinner

25. @janicekoh: Homemade claypot rice. Plus a glass of red. Does that count as fruit? #whatihadfordinner (Grapes always count as fruit, Janice! -mb)

26. @mrbrown: #whatihadfordinner I had early dinner today: Soto Ayam and bakwan (vegetable fritter) soaked in chili sauce.

In Singapore, LRT rides you

It seems that today was the LRT's turn to break down. This viral image was circulating on Facebook and it captured the 11 passengers on the Bukit Panjang Light Rapid Transit (BPLRT) who had to walk the rest of the way to a train station this afternoon.

News reports here and here.

[original photo taken by Izzul Haziq, see the rest of his great shots here on Facebook]

Next time don't overcrowd your bus ok? Slap you on the wrist then you know!

You throw a cigarette butt on the floor: $300 fine.

SBS or SMRT overcrowd their bus: $100 fine.

See? Gahmen very fair one.

the mrbrown show: Golden Loveseed Club

Photo by vincent ☆

Don't get caught with your pants down! Play safe! Try our agency at mrbrownshow.com!

Play "the mrbrown show: Golden Loveseed Club"

Comedy in Singapore: Can the Much-Restricted Nation Lighten Up?

Kumar, Cherian George and myself were interviewed for PRI's The World. Their radio show is heard on NPR in America: "Comedy in Singapore: Can the Much-Restricted Nation Lighten Up?"

Two covers in three months…

Oh the irony.

Singapore Tatler cover: "Join four high society couples who share their stories of enduring love"

Straits Times front page: "Howard Shaw and 3 others charged for underage sex"

As friend Imran pointed out, perhaps the headline for the Tatler cover should have been "Lust, Caution".

In other news, "Indonesian charged with having sex with minor granted leave from S'pore". Apparently, our authorities are sooooooo confident the fellow will return from his "marriage preparations" that they granted him bail of $30,000. Gahmen got very big heart one.

Also in the grapevine (the grape being @izreloaded): "Apparently one of the men just broke up with the girlfriend, paid the underage prostitute to go hotel, hear him talk. No sex. He was let off. The judge let him off with warning because the hardcore underage whore confirmed his story."

Now who says our Singaporean workers are not productive? This young lady was not just a hardcore prostitute, she was also a model, social escort, psychiatrist, social worker and counsellor. That is multi-tasking indeed.

'Cher, MRT breakdown leh, that's why late!

SMRT issues new kind of MC for latecomers. This morning, as you know, it was the Circle Line's turn to go down.

In other news, Miyagi asks, "Is the Minister for Train Delay Announcements saying something yet?"

You mean Mr Lui Stuck You?

[Photo by Wayne Chan, via @NAR_sg]

Kids and their fancy malls

Isaac: "Pa, can you buy me a Lego Ninjago from Easten?"

Me: "Where?"

Isaac: "Easten."

Me: "…Isetan lah."

introducing the 5d Mk III (light leak edition)

don't think, just shoot.

(it's not a bug, it's a whole new product line.)

Never lose your wonder

We took the kids to Sentosa over the weekend, to the new Port of Lost Wonder attraction. The wife was very happy there was something the whole gang could enjoy and Faith, my oldest one, with autism, loves water.

I was nursing a flu so it was decided earlier that I would not go into the water. My job was to hover at the edge of the water, while the helper went into the water with the kids. The wife watched over the bags in the shade.

As the children ran through the pirate ship, the centerpiece of the attraction, playing with water guns and splashed by fountains, my helper told me she needed to change into something more suitable for the wet conditions.

So I took over watching over the kids, especially Faith, as she went to change.

For the first few minutes, I had my special eleven-year-old in my sights. She was enjoying herself, and splashed water in various spots, as if looking for a favorite play area.

Then for a split second, I lost sight of her in the crowd of kids. My heart stopped as I scanned the water and playing children.

I did not worry too much about Isaac and Joy, though they were younger, because they knew not to talk to strangers or wander away from the designated play area. But Faith, she did not have that sense of danger and could leave the pirate ship and go where she fancied.

I was about to enter the play area fully clothed, getting wet be damned, when I found her 10 seconds later, at the other side, sitting down in the pool. It was the longest 10 seconds I've ever experienced.

Soon after, my helper returned to take over watching over Faith and I walked back to the wife for a drink of water.

"I almost lost Faith for a moment there," I said.

"I know," the wife said.

"You saw?"

"I was tracking Faith the whole time too, from here," the wife replied. "I could even see the frantic look on your face," she laughed.

It was at that moment I was reminded that we are partners in this, my wife and I. We are in this together, raising the kids, watching over Faith, covering for each other.

My wife, she has my back. And I have hers.

Holy Wifi, Batman!

Dear family who named their wifi network "We Love U Jesus":

Behold, I stood at your door and knocked, but your wifi was locked.