Methinks the choice of font was wrong for this movie poster.
[photo taken by @kixes]
I made this animated gif for you, football fans. Enjoy.
Last night, some swore at Man U. Some swore at Man City. All swore at Mio.
The TV service glitched just before a crucial late game goal by Man City.
Dear Singtel Mio TV: Just because the Man City match was in stoppage time didn't mean your 没有 TV service can also stoppage time.
Also interesting was the disappearance of angry posts by irate football fans on Singtel's Facebook page. I think the admin gave up in the end because too many complaints came in. (Update: Or it may be the new Timeline filter that made it look like the angry posts were deleted.)
Check out the video glitches on this Youtube video during the crucial matches, shot by Mr Phyo Myat Thu.
My friend, Chandra, helpfully offered this pro tip.
How to fix your Singtel Mio:
Step 1. Unplug all cables from box.
Step 2. Open window.
Step 3. Throw it out.*
*Needless to say, I was only kidding about throwing your Mio box out of the window. That would be killer litter and illegal. Want to throw, throw into dustbin also can.
Warning, shameless product placement at the end of this sincere post.
My first home was a three-room flat in Upper Aljunied Lane. My parents lived there for three years before they had me, their firstborn. My family went on to stay there for the next fifteen years.
We had one of those old school gates, a heavy black metal gate that opened by sliding to one side. You can see it in the photo above (yes, that was me in 1969). Because the bearings below were damaged and Pa didn't bother to fix it, every time we opened the gate, the whole neigbourhood could hear the clanging sound. It was like the sound of a castle drawbridge being lowered.
We hardly kept the door closed anyway, because our neighbourhood was like a little kampung. Neighbours walked in and out of each other's homes, doors were not locked till late at night, and kids played along the common corridor.
More than once, my brothers and I had some limb and head stuck in the one of the gaps in the gate, and our parents had to rescue us.
I miss that monster of a gate. I miss my old home. We had many good times and fond memories of the place.
Recently, I went to look at my old flat again. It has been upgraded since, of course. There is now an additional lift that stops on every floor appended outside (the old one inside that stops on the first, fifth and eight floor is still there) and the basketball court we spent many a Saturday morning playing badminton and catching is now a multi-storey car park (sigh). But I still remember the neighbourhood like it was yesterday.
I guess you never forget your first real home.
Shameless product placement follows:
Incidentally, the tagline for the new Polo 1.2 TSi is “You never forget your first real car.”
If you have time, do check out the new Polo 1.2 TSi. Prices start as low as $96,800 and it is the latest Polo to join the Volkswagen family. You can test drive it at the launch on the 12th and 13th May at both Volkswagen dealerships (Alexandra and MacPherson). More details at their website.
According to the papers, A father made a police report for "verbal abuse" because his 7-year-old daughter told him that her teacher said to her: "I don't want to see your face."
Seriously? A POLICE report? Call the school. Call the principal. Heck, call the Minister of Education, if you like. But a police report is a tad overkill, don't you think?
Even if the teacher was harsh with her words (and we have all experienced worse, I am sure. Bags flying out of the window, anyone?), why do we #SimisaiAlsoPoliceReport?:
1. @mrbrown: Teacher told your kid not to talk in class? Make police report!
2. @mrbrown: Teacher didn't let your kid sit next to her best friend? Make police report!
3. @mrbrown: Teacher threw your kid's test paper a little too fiercely on her desk? Make police report!
4. @voxeros: "你这个学生很 难教." orrrhhh… 老师 scold bad word… Make police report!
5. @adesabrina: Teacher made your kid stay back during recess? Make police report!
6. @moby74: Teacher mispronounces child's 5-part name. Make police report!
7. @voxeros: My daughter tell me teacher don't let her go toilet! Make police report!
8. @jieandyang: Your daughter's friend don't friend your daughter anymore. Make police report!
9. @MaxFosterr: Say "Cher can go toilet?" Teacher reply "I don't want go toilet." Make police report!
10. @mrbrown: Your kid's classmate stepped on your kid's new and white Bata shoes? Make police report!
11. @asuna88: Teacher throw chalk/marker/duster at your kid? Make police report!
12. @slackin80: Play catching, cannot catch anyone. Make police report!
13. @moemasri: Teacher never give your kid a "star" sticker. Make police report!
14. @jeffcheong: Teacher ask your kid to go TAF club. Make police report!
15. @mrbrown: Teacher didn't choose your kid as the Class Librarian? Make police report!
16. @Fake_PMLee: My teacher confiscated my phone so I cannot tweet with #SimisaiAlsoPoliceReport hashtag. Make police report!
17. @mrbrown: Your kid's tuckshop ran out of chicken wings during recess. Make police report!
18. @mrbrown: Teacher didn't give enough homework? Make police report!
19. @mrbrown: Teacher gave too much homework? Make police report!
20. @timthyo: Canteen auntie up price for lor mai kai by 20cents! Make police report!
21. @Fake_PMLee: "My teacher says I must use 2B pencil. But I like HB." Make police report!
22. @mrbrown: Teacher told your kid Hougang by-election is not a public holiday? Make police report!
23. @mrbrown: Teacher used permanent marker on class whiteboard, thereby traumatizing your kid? Make police report!
23. @thecarrotstick: Teacher used whiteboard marker to erase permanent marker. Make police report!
24. @jayleif: White board marker no more ink. Make police report!
25. @BB_See: Teacher don't let your kid finish his food because recess is over? Make police report!
26. @miyagi: Still in classroom after bell for recess period? Call police! Make police report!
27. @MelodyChen_: My piano teacher used to hit my knuckles with a pencil. My folks should have called the police!
28. @eisen: I still remember my mum telling my stern form teacher: "Tell me if he misbehaves. He'll get double at home." Now… #SimisaiAlsoPoliceReport
29. @lucian: My teacher hit my hand with a ruler. A metal ruler. Using its edge. Make police report!
30. @jiw3n: The teacher's saliva splatter on my kid while teaching. Make police report!
31. @benkuza: Classmate borrow pencil never return. Make police report!
32. @lupcheong: My daughter doesn't know how to find the cosine of a banana. Make police report!
33. @adesabrina: Teacher didn't give your kid that 1/2 mark to get A********? Make police report!
34. @beautysorority: Teacher didn't choose daughter to answer question even though she put up her hand. Make police report!
35. @jeffcheong: Someone sings an extra 'Ma' after the National Anthem. Make police report!
36. @ErvinHan: Teacher made my son a pedestrian at the Road Safety Park when he was born to be a cyclist. Make police report!
37. @ShunfuMart: PE teacher disallowed goal for offside. Son says he was level with last defender. Make police report!
38. @ahmarudolpf: Female teacher snapped the bra of poor girl & said "YOUR BRA STRAP CANNOT HAVE COLOUR. CHANGE IT!" Make police report!
39. @iremembersg: School canteen ran out of Mamee. Make police report!
40. @aitweetmai: My teacher wore black belt with brown shoes. Make a police report (Call the fashion police too -mb)
41. @mrbrown: Teacher showed a bit of her bra strap by accident. Make police report! #SimisaiAlsoPoliceReport
42. @mrbrown: Your daughter play Police and Thief in school, but always kena be Thief? Make police report!
As @BB_See puts it: The Singapore Police Force: Your Personal Complaint Hotline.
Returning Officer Yam Ah Mee approved these nine symbols for candidates to use if they wished to contest the Hougang By-election. Two thoughts crossed my mind:
1. Good grief, the clipart is ugly. They look like the kind of word-processor clipart used by Resident Committees and Community Centre for their event banners.
2. The symbols are open to interpretation.
So here are my interpretations.
So it seems that the Hougang By-Election likely to be 26th May, while Nomination Day is 16th May.
On PM's Facebook page: he hopes Hougang residents will "use this opportunity wisely, to elect the best candidate with commitment and integrity: someone they can rely upon to express their hopes and concerns, address their needs, and make a real difference to their lives."
Wah, he quite Suan King ah?
Rumours are also rife that on 17th May, McDonald's is bringing back the Hello Kitty plush toys.
Yes. God help us all.
In the name of suggesting decent candidates, I nominate McDonald's Hello Kitty for the PAP candidate at Hougang By-election!
It is cute, white, and does not have a mouth. Also it is popular (sells out easily).
To be on the safe side, may I suggest Workers' Party field a eunuch. Preferably from the Ming Dynasty. I heard they very smart.
Image by Seth Wee Junyi on FB
When @jovenatheart tweeted: "it makes me #rage when i see emails saying 'for your advise'", I knew I had to start #EmailLinesThatMakeMeRage
1. @jovenatheart: "For your advise"
2. @lupcheong: "Sent from my iPad"
3. @pretzelknot: "Please revert"
4. @maenadery: "Action on this."
5. @mrbrown: "Noted with thanks."
6. @WayneTeo: "Out of Office AutoReply"
7. @humswhilepeeing: "For your perusal."
8. @hai_ren: "For your necessary action"
9. AntiStressKid: "Please reply A.S.A.P."
10. @mrbrown: "Dear Kin Mum" (It's Mun, you twit)
11. @mrbrown: "Dear Editor/Blogger/Producer/Content Manager/Friend of the Media"
12. @GenkiGenki: "Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:"
13. @billaBangs: "Pls kindly find in the attachment…" *no attachment*
14. @sonydjuana: "With regards to the above mentioned subject"
15. @badehavior: "My name is George Ekobi & I need your help to transfer $5million out of my deceased uncle's bank account."
16. @yanyewkay: "The user's mailbox quota is reached. Please inform him."
17. @miyagi: "We wish to inform you whereby..."
18. @Joakim_Gomez: "………has sent you a request on FarmVille"
19. @thomasarie: "No Subject"
20. @inanaj: "FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: Cats"
21. @fab_xl: "[ADV]"
22. @chezevo: "(Fm: MINDEF) You have a National Service Call-Up Notification."
23. @rainnabe: "This is a system-generated acknowledgement. Please do not reply to this email."
24. @liangkaixin: Worse still, "FYNA" RT @CelineShanmugam: "For your necessary action."
25. @idvhiidvr: "Please contact the below-mentioned number regarding the above-mentioned issue."
26. @sarasofjuliet: "Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld powered by StarHub!"
27. @Fake_PMLee: "Sent from the Office of the MM -"
28. @BB_See: "Please proceed urgently"
29. @noshi113: "Any queries, please contact self"
30. @TommyWee:"Your kind feedback is appreciated." Why must my feedback be kind? Why.
31. @noshi113: "Needful, as attached"
32. @dinnie: "Your feedbacks is duly noted."
33. @behindmysmiles: "In regards to a…"
34. @mrbrown: "Your iCloud storage is almost full"
35. @sooling: "Click here to Unsubscribe" Hello, when did I ever subscribe?
36. @KendricKHJH: "Zynga"
37. @food_blogger: "To who it may concern..."
38. @DeniseLiTweets: "I will be following up soon with a phone call."
39. @DanielFoodDiary: "I would so like to invite u to my event. By the way, it's tomorrow."
40. @HossanLeong:"I need your quotation and proposal by 5 today" Hello it's 3pm. Don't you guys plan??
41. @appleseed "Please vote for my baby daughter/son x4 to entire company"
42. @repulsivity: "User is out of office until 31/12/2099"
43. @ErvinHan: "Your latest online credit card statement is ready for viewing."
44. @MAIMUNAHnasir: Looking at #EmailLinesThatMakeMeRage is making me laugh so hard, cos those are the exact same mails i am replying now! hahaha
At age 11, Faith still does not have speech. Her autism is fairly serious and it is something we have come to accept. Whatever is on her mind, what she knows and what she doesn't, is pretty much locked away in that head of hers. Occasionally, she lets us have a privileged look at what she is thinking and what she is capable of.
Her Special School teachers shared something startling with us when they did their home visit. One Friday, in March, Faith kept shoving the card for the number 16 to her teachers. They couldn't figure out why at first. But she kept giving them the number 16.
Then the teachers got it and asked, "Today is your birthday, ah? Happy birthday, Faith!"
Turns out that day WAS the 16th of March, it WAS her birthday, and once the teachers said that, Faith stopped pushing the number forward.
That totally blew my mind. We never knew she understood the concept of a birthday, much less the concept of date and time.
Another time, the teachers got a cryptic number 3 from Faith, on the 2nd of March, Friday. They kept guessing until they realised and asked, "Your grandma coming home from India on the 3rd ah?" and then she stopped.
The 3rd of March, Saturday, was the day my mother was to return from her India holiday. Faith knew that fact and that date. And was obviously looking forward to it.
One of the ways she "converses" with us is pointing. She would grab my finger (or the finger of people close to her) and point it at something, waiting for us to say what it is. "Floor" and "window" gets pointed at a lot.
Recently, the wife sent me this text message:
After making her mother point at all the clocks in the home, and making her mother say "clock", Faith tried to say it herself.
I got a taste of this last night too.
Faith took my finger and pointed it at the ceiling lamp.
Me: "Light, Faith."
Me: "Right, Faith. Light."
Inside, I did a little dance.
After that post about the girl-on-girl kiss, I wondered what the next Star Awards would look like if it got censored. Let's begin with Mediacorp actress Constance Song's controversial dress:
How about this kiss by "Auntie Lucy" (Zhou Chong Qing):
Korean singer Jay Park may have been censored like this:
More random kissing censored:
Tay Ping Hui looks very happy here:
[Original photos via xinmsn]
Apparently the MDA is probing the one-second lip-on-lip kiss between Mediacorp actresses actresses Vivian Lai and Kate Pang at the recent Star Awards show, following complaints from some members of the public.
Will the MDA be checking for tongue?
I wonder if MDA has a Girl-Kissing-Girl Policing Division. Or is it lumped under General Kissing (Same Sex) Policing Division.
Probably also a Listen-to-Dumbass-Complaints Department.
MediaCorp says that the "kiss" will be censored for the repeat telecast "as some viewers may not be comfortable".
Maybe next year, at Star Awards 2013, all the female actresses should kiss each other, and all the guy actors can kiss each other, then the reruns will only be 5 minutes. We could hope.
I think the phrase "Chey, liddat only ah?" comes to mind.
They never use cable ties from Superman's planet lah, that's why:
Mr Loke, who was the night duty officer after the 17 December disruption, told the court that cable ties were placed around all claws on the North-South and East-West lines during a thorough joint inspection by the Land Transport Authority and SMRT.
This prompted Committee of Inquiry member engineering professor Lim Mong King to ask if Mr Loke knew of instances where claws have dislodged even with the cable ties in place.
Mr Loke answered: "I believe there were."
When asked why the claws dislodged, Mr Loke said the cable ties used were the "normal, industrial cable ties, not the special one."
Ah well, there's always Velcro and Duct Tape.
The wife and I caught Avengers in 3D on Monday midnight with eight other friends (next day holiday, can stay out late).
It was my second time (I caught the very early media preview on the 16th of April) but it still rocked.
They had better let Joss Whedon direct the rest of the Avengers movies or we fans will go Hulk Smash on Marvel.
Over breakfast on May Day, the Wife said, "Actually you are like Tony Stark."
Me: "Why, thank you!"
Wife: "Except without the armor and the money. Just the motor-mouth."