I woke up this morning and the kids were watching yet another replay of this year's National Day song, Love at First Light.
"Papa, why do they keeping playing Love at First Light on tv?" asked my 8-year-old son.
"Because they're trying to brainwash you into liking a sucky song," I replied.
Joy, my 6-year-old asked, "What happened to the little girl at the end of Love at First Light?"
I thought for a while, and decided to tell her the REAL story of the music video…
"The Wicked Witch of the Bay, Queen Olivera, captured the little girl Natania and took her to the roof of OUB Centre because she needed her psychic powers to put the entire downtown area of Singapore into a snow globe.
"Natania's sister, Nutella, saw all her friends stuck inside the Evil Snow Globe and begged Queen Olivera's half-sister, Princess Zombie Curtains, to tell her how to set everyone free.
"Meanwhile, a dude plays a guitar.
"One of Singapore's top hackers, nicknamed Anonymousness, found out from Google how to stop Queen Olivera.
"Anonymousness rushed off to tell Dr Birdman, an eccentric professor who taught him how to set the Singapore CBD free again.
"Meanwhile, the under-appreciated super heroine, Scarf Girl, ran off to get some kungfu masters to help her defeat Queen Olivera. She found the Chong Pang Zone 9 Residents’ Committee Taichi club, who joined her in the fight against Queen Olivera, after checking with their Grassroots Advisor (who happened to be their MP too).
"All the people who had friends or loved ones stuck inside Queen Olivera's Evil Snow Globe (because they were working overtime at the office when she struck), gathered and walked all the way to Changi Airport, to see if they could rescue the Captured. This was because the MRT was down due to part of their stations being shrunk inside the Snow Globe, so it was by no means the fault of the SMRT or SBS Transit, or the LTA.
"They walked very far but finally reached Changi Airport, where many were imprisoned. Suddenly they saw some of their friends and loved ones come out of the clutches of Queen Olivera's transit lounge, pushing trolleys with looted duty-free perfumes and liquor!
"Everyone hugged and embraced. Some even hugged women they didn't know, because they could. Scarf Girl finally found a boyfriend who didn't friendzone her.
'How did you escape?' the mob asked the Captured.
"'Dr Birdman sent his trained killer birds to Queen Olivera's lair, and broke the Evil Snow Globe machine's force field with their sonic bird songs and toxic bird shit.' they replied.
"Meanwhile, the Averagers, Singapore's Most Average Heroes, broke into the roof of the OUB Building, and freed little Natania. She was reunited with her parents, but not before Queen Olivera stared at her, and took her psychic powers (and some of the knowledge from her weekend enrichment classes too), setting the scene for the inevitable sequel at next year's National Day."
And that was the story I told my daughter when she asked "What happened to the little girl at the end of Love at First Light?"
Oh, ok, I told Joy the short version: "Her parents rescued her from Olivia Ong on the roof."
Then I went and made the rest of the story up for my own entertainment.
