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#singaporeanness: Lets do an NDP song TOGETHER!

Recently, with all the interest in our NDP songs, StarHub got in touch with me to see if I could help create an NDP song with you guys.

StarHub felt that the best way to celebrate our unique achievements is to celebrate all that's unique about us. So, we are putting together an unofficial NDP song that pays homage to our unique traits and habits — our "Singaporean-ness". And you can help me.

Here is what you can do. Send me unique Singaporean quirks, traits and sayings (including Singlish terms), anything and everything you love about our country and I will weave the into lyrics for the song.

You can submit your #singaporeanness ideas via Twitter or Facebook with the #singaporeanness hashtags (yes, Facebook supports hashtags now) or if you are the desktop computer kind of person, you may use the Facebook app via this URL: http://mrbrwn.co/ndpsong

I will be collecting submissions from today till the 7th of August but send them early or else I will be be very stressed lah! Limpeh have to write song and shoot video for you one leh! Thanks ah!

Yes, I sing Chrismas songs in July

Me, singing Michael Bublé in the car: "I'll be hooome for Christmas, yooou can count on meee…"

Joy, 7: "Papa, the singer sounds just like you!"

Me: "Why, thank you!"

Joy: "Ya! Like old man! He's an old man singer, right?"

-_-

I miss my bridge :(

Update: The folks at NParks kindly replied: "We are glad to hear that you enjoy using it and cycling through Kallang Riverside Park daily. We would just like to explain that the bridge repairs will take more time than usual because the works are extensive and our workers need to access the river to patch up the bridge columns with concrete. Public safety is our priority, so we want to ensure that the repairs are done well. Hope you understand our efforts and thank you for your patience in the meantime."

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Dear NParks, please fasterly repair this bridge so that I can return to cutting through your lovely Kallang Riverside Park on my way to work. First quarter 2014 is so far away!

Thank you!

Tales of the Super Gorblok

Miyagi and I always loved the word "Super Gorblok". We heard it so many times shouted at us during NS days that it is seared into our brains whenever we do something stupid.

I recently found out the root word is Goblok, and it is Indonesian slang for Stupid or idiot. It is amazing how words travel in our region. It seems Malaysians use the word Goblok too.

Anyways, I shared one moment of #SuperGorblok on Twitter and unknowingly unleashed a torrent of tales from other Super Gorbloks.

1. @mrbrown: Left hand carrying reading glasses. Right hand some crumpled paper I didn't want anymore. Opened dustbin. Threw glasses in. #supergorblok

2. @gurms: Removed chewing gum from wrapper, opened pedal bin with foot, threw away gum, kept the wrapper, stared #supergorblok #truestory

3. @aidilism: 1. Insert ATM Card 2. Keyed in digits 3. Stared at mirror on ATM 4. Removed ATM Card 5. Left & forgot to take $ #supergorblok

4. @TheZR0: Went to take a glass of water. Took the glass, forgot the water #supergorblok

5. @mrbrown: Went to the bathroom. Opened jar of face day cream. Took at glob of it. Applied to hair. #supergorblok

6. @andeelym: Walk to room, forgot why, walk back to recall, no luck, walk away and then remembered. Walk back to the room, forgot again #supergorblok

7. @kwonghow: Tapped staff pass to pay for the bus. Used ez-link to enter office building. #supergorblok

8. ‏@FabesLau: Noticed new facial wash, applied to face. Noticed lather was weird, looked at bottle. Noticed label - Lactacyd, Feminine Wash #supergorblok

9. @acupofgie: Inserted Nespresso capsule into machine, pressed the brew button but forgot to place mug #supergorblok #TrueStory

10. @xploded_tb: Went to the bathroom. Pull down pants. Sit on toilet bowl. Pulled up pants and left. #supergorblok

11. @Clear_Liqueur: Went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Squeezed face wash onto toothbrush. Started brushing. #supergorblok

12. @mrbrown: Left hand envelope of cash. Right hand letter. Posted the cash. #supergorblok (I had to wait by the postbox for the postman to come and beg him to let me retrieve my envelope of cash.)

13. @haus_of_k: Went down to put dirty laundry into washing machine. Got cold water from fridge. Left underwear in fridge. Mother screams. #supergorblok

14. @foxunlimited: Used towel in one hand, trash in the other hand. Opened washing machine lid and threw trash into it. #supergorblok

15. @_christymas: Doing math homework while watching tv. Aimed calculator at tv screen to change channel. #supergorblok

16. @MansonKoh: Went to bath room, squeezed out toothpaste, applied on face, and scream #supergorblok

17. @haus_of_k: Returning used dishes at Khatib Camp cookhouse. Puts utensils into sink. Throws plate into bin. Auntie: "BOY AHHH!" #supergorblok

18. @xploded_tb: Went to bathroom. Drank Listerine. #supergorblok

19. @mrbrown: Came back from long overseas flight. Slept. Woke up. Looked at clock. It says nine. Panic at being late for work. It is 9pm. #supergorblok

20. ‏@mrbrown: Wife walking around the house looking for her glasses. She was wearing them. #supergorblok

21. @andeelym: Took trash & keys, opened door, close & lock for security. Open trash chute, threw everything in. Stuck outside house. #supergorblok

22. @veracia: Ordered KFC to table, clear the dirty table n put rubbish into tray, throw the new tray into the bin. #supergorblok

23. @kelvinlammh: Friend on the cell phone chatting while walking , ask me to help look for cell phone. #supergorblok

24. @ChickenMacabre: Steps into shower, rinses, shampoos, soaps. Rinses off. Soaps and shampoos again #supergorblok

25. @LimhanyongLimhy: Calculator on hand. Phone rings. Answered the call with calculator. #supergorblok

26. @finalaeon: Wash hands at home, put hands under tap, expect water to come out. Realise not at public toilet, home tap no sensor #supergorblok

27. @WatanabeShawn: Bought bottled drinks. Drink without opening the cap. #whatamidoing #supergorblok

28. @orbigood: Alarm clock rings. Picks up and say hello? #supergorblok ("It's time to wake up!" said the clock. -mb)

29. @shouyaas: Thought the Mcflurry spoon was a straw. #supergorblok

30. @andeelym: Reached swimming pool after 45mins journey, went to toilet to change, strip and realised forgot to bring swim trunks. #supergorblok

31. @andeelym: Shook wife awake at 12am, to be first to give birthday wish. Wife punched face, turned away mumbling "Its next month idiot!" #supergorblok

32. @RandomMutation: Filled the mug with ice tea and throw cap of bottle into mug. #supergorblok

33. @_920716: Uses laptop at desktop table. Works with desktop keyboard and mouse, and thinks laptop is spoilt. #supergorblok

34. @eugeneyap: Activated staff at spa and massage place to search for locker key strapped around my arm. #supergorblok

35. @KingMeng: Left hand holding wallet. Right hand reach in jeans pocket & screamed "MY WALLET IS MISSING!!!" #supergorblok

36. @politavros: Test tomorrow, mug like crazy. Goes to school super-confident. School holiday. #supergorblok

37. @wengkiong: Double tap folder on my PC screen with my finger. Then press and hold. Still nothing happened. #supergorblok

38. @pattyopines Pack extra extra battery for PSP. forget to bring PSP. #supergorblok

39. @pattyopines Board taxi to return to camp. tell uncle "Tekong" #supergorblok (Water taxi? -mb)

40. @BrewerGregg Grab hot pan with one hand, feel the burn. Immediately hold in other hand. #supergorblok

the mrbrown show: Kim Huat sings an NDP Song

Youtube link: http://mrbrwn.co/19kk1ba

Kim Huat shares HIS cover of the hot new NDP song from the 2013 NDP, One Singapore.

Turn on Captions to sing along!

Download the song too: One Singapore (Kim Huat remix)

The Royal Baby is out!

William and Kate's new baby son is the third in line to the throne and the Prince of Cambridge. His O and A levels must be very good.

My Royal Baby Name suggestion:

"HRH A-Levels, The Prince of Cambridge".

[Photos via The Independent and Matt Dunham of AP]

We could have had him for President…

Maybe the former Presidential-hopeful didn't realize he needed to upgrade to the Pro version of the app. Then his iPhone would not only measure temperature, it would also measure current PSI (PM2.5 included), tell you if you are having your period, and cook instant noodles.

Good thing he didn't try to measure boiling water.

In the comments which ensued, a commenter pointed out, "The phone is not a thermometer. The app merely gathers temp data from other sources."

Mr Tan replied, "You got the right answer. I realized it after a while. Haha."

Mr Tan went on to quip, "My $700 iPhone cannot measure temperature. A $3 thermometer can. What an irony." #fail"

Fail indeed.

Fathers tell the lamest jokes

On the car ride home from my in-laws', we were trading silly jokes and Isaac asked, "Papa, tell us a lame joke!"

Me: "What is the name of Iron Man's girlfriend?"

Isaac: "What?"

Me: "Laundry Woman."

Singapore Jaeger Names

Today, @danielgoh suggested I think of some #SingaporeJaegerNames in honour of the movie Pacific Rim, and off we went on Twitter:

1. @mrbrown: Awful NDP Song #SingaporeJaegerNames

2. @mrbrown: Limpeh Kaligong #SingaporeJaegerNames (To which @Milodrums said: LIMPEH KALIGONG IS GONNA CANCEL THE APOCALYPSE. HUAT AH!)

3. @mrbrown: Urban Redevelopment #SingaporeJaegerNames

4. @mrbrown: IU Unit #SingaporeJaegerNames

5. @mrbrown: Robot by the Bay #SingaporeJaegerNames

6. @mrbrown: QuickPick System 7 #SingaporeJaegerNames

7. @mrbrown: Minion Hunter #SingaporeJaegerNames (Peepoo! Peepoo!)

8. @mrbrown: @YoongDerp: Garang Guni #SingaporeJaegerNames

9. @mrbrown: @Gdy2shoez: Bobo Shooter #SingaporeJaegerNames

10. @mrbrown: Sibei Tokong #SingaporeJaegerNames

11. @theangrycamel: ORD LOH (Retired Mark 1 version) #SingaporeJaegerNames

12. @CharlesNeo: Holly Sea #SingaporeJaegerNames

13. @lammified: White Horse #SingaporeJaegerNames

14. @lupcheong: #SingaporeJaegerNames Leopard Prince

15. @bryandmlee: Singapore Jaeger #SingaporeJaegerNames (@hai_ren: After a multimillion dollar rebranding exercise.)

16. @theangrycamel: Kena Arrow #SingaporeJaegerNames

17. @mrbrown: Le Kuasimi (Singapore-French collabo) #SingaporeJaegerNames

18. @mrbrown: Ground Jiro #SingaporeJaegerNames

19. @ObiAngKenobi: MC King #SingaporeJaegerNames

20. @ErvinHan: Little Red Bot #SingaporeJaegerNames

21. @hsiennan: Strike-Lottery Eureka. #SingaporeJaegerNames

22. @Sytan79: Arm Chio #SingaporeJaegerNames

23. @longadin: You all nair see the LKY mecha before? #SingaporeJaegerNames http://mrbrwn.co/12NkFtN (Ah, the mythical Jaeger named Ah Gong! -mb)

24. @NanoPulp: Marine Barrage #singaporejaegernames

25. @miyagi: Super Gorblok #SingaporeJaegerNames

26. @mrbrown: Integrated Robot #SingaporeJaegerNames

27. @mrbrown: Up Lorry #SingaporeJaegerNames

28. @mrbrown: Milo Dinosaur #SingaporeJaegerNames

29. @mrbrown: Kancheong Spider #SingaporeJaegerNames

30. @mrbrown: Kitty Queue #SingaporeJaegerNames

31. @mrbrown: Jerry Mander #SingaporeJaegerNames

32. @mrbrown: Buay Steady #SingaporeJaegerNames

33. @mrbrown: Kyoto Gusai #SingaporeJaegerNames

Forget about the Price Tag

If it's not about the money, money, money and they just wanna make the world dance, why isn't the song free?

@daiyaku draws our Pacific Lim podcast!

Check out this drawing done by @daiyaku inspired by our Pacific Lim podcast! Coolness!

the mrbrown show: Pacific Lim

Singapore faces it's biggest enemy yet, but we fight back! Go to mrbrownshow.com.

Play "the mrbrown show: Pacific Lim"

The Family Series by mrbrown (at Yahoo!): Home for the Holidays

The Family Series by mrbrown (at Yahoo!): Home for the Holidays

Excerpt:

The family just came home from Semarang, Indonesia, from our family vacation. It was beautiful, not too warm, and the air was lovely, especially in the hills of Bandungan.

I wish we had stayed longer.

Yup, we came home to PSI 401 haze caused by Indonesian forest fires. The irony is not lost on me.

We are making the best of things. I managed to find some N95 masks for everyone in the household after some searching. Those masks are the new Hello Kitty, as limited edition as they come. Nobody seems to have any stock.

My wife took one look at the N95 mask I bought and said, "A bit ugly leh. Don't have the thinner one ah?" (cont'd)

The Family Series by mrbrown (at Yahoo!): Have Gift Will Travel

The Family Series by mrbrown (at Yahoo!): Have Gift Will Travel

Excerpt:

I travel quite a bit for work and each time I do, I have to stress over what to buy home, for the kids, for the wife, for my mom who helps to look after the children (and sometimes the wife helps too, if she's not with me).

It has become such a thing that the first thing my children say when they see me drag my weary, jet-lagged body home from the airport is not "Welcome home, O Head of Our Household! Allow us to massage your tired feet and prepare your milk bath."

No, their first words are usually, "Papa! You are home! What did you buy for us this time?" (cont'd)

Free show at Nicoll Highway

After dinner at Beach Road market today, Ryan and I spent a good 10 minutes at rush hour, watching cars trying to turn from Beach Road into Nicoll Highway illegally, and laughing our heads off.

Cars here are only supposed to turn from the outermost lane but many try to squeeze in from the middle lane to turn two abreast. This evening, a traffic cop had set up his video camera on a tripod and was filming everyone.

Most of the time, you would see a car approach to try to do the illegal turn, then the driver would spot the cop, and immediately carry on driving straight.

Ryan and I provided our own special effects ("Oh oh oh oh… go straight liao! Heng ah! Next car coming, oh oh oh oh, WAH she turned in front of the cop, never give face ah, KENA!").

I know, it was a cheap thrill but it was fun to watch. That traffic cop should get at least a Best Cinematography award for his fine work at that traffic island.

The new $1 coin looks like an arcade token

Now I feel like visiting the arcade to play a few rounds of Street Fighter.

Last night at home, our movie night…

Wife: "Wow, listen to that surround sound from the movie!"

And with that, I whispered to myself, "Now thy earthly work is done."

Child abuse case at First Skool

First they were told their 3-year-old had a fall at his childcare centre, First Skool at Toa Payoh. Then they had the presence of mind to demand to see the CCTV footage and the videos showed their son being dragged to a corner and roughly pushed down, and later dragged away when he couldn't stand properly.

Doctors at KK Hospital confirmed that the boy had a hairline fracture in the shin (seen in this photo shared by his parents on Facebook).

The father took videos of the CCTV footage and uploaded them to YouTube.

This is Video 1:

And this is Video 2:

I hope the law comes down hard on this child abuse case. Shocking stuff. I just visited the parents' Facebook page at 3am, and they say their 3-year-old has been waking up every half an hour screaming in pain. I feel their anguish, man. Be strong and get well soon, little boy!

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Via 938LIVE's Facebook page:

(UPDATED WITH PRESCHOOL MANAGEMENT'S RESPONSE)

PRE-SCHOOLER FRACTURES SHIN AFTER ALLEGED ABUSE BY TEACHER

Parents of a 3 year boy have lodged a police report against a pre-school teacher for allegedly abusing their son, and causing him to suffer a fracture on his leg.

The incident allegedly happened on Friday morning.

Video clips from CCTV recordings at the My First Skool centre in Toa Payoh Central which showed the incident, have since gone viral.

One clip showed a woman dragging a young boy to a corner of the classroom, and pushing him to the floor.

A second clip showed the boy - still in the corner - trying but failing to stand on his own, and then being dragged away by the same woman.

The boy's mother told 938LIVE she was informed by staff of the centre while she was at work that her child was complaining of pain, and that he had had a fall.

At the KK Women's and Children's Hospital, doctors confirmed the boy has a hairline fracture in his shin.

When the parents returned to the pre-school centre, they demanded to see the CCTV recording of the classroom, following which they filed a police report.

When contacted, police confirmed they are investigating the incident.

A spokesperson for My First Skool said they are co-operating fully with the police on the case of alleged child abuse.

And the teacher involved has been suspended from all duties with immediate effect.

The spokesperson said the safety and welfare of the children in their care is their top priority, and they take this responsibility very seriously.

She added: "Our main focus now is the child's welfare and we will do all we can to assist the family on the care of the child during this period. The centre principal was with the child at all times during his visit to the doctors yesterday. The parents of the child has requested for a transfer to another centre in our network and we are doing all possible to manage this transition in the best interests of the child."

938LIVE/

Today we celebrate our Independence Day!

"Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world, and you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind.

Mankind, that… word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences any more. We will be united in our common interest. Perhaps it's fate that today is the 4th of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom. Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution, but from annihilation.

We're fighting for our right to live, to exist and should we win the day, the 4th of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice, 'We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on, we're going to survive.' Today we celebrate our Independence Day!"

-President Thomas Whitmore, July 4th, 1996

He was their greatest President, I tell ya…

In case you are wondering why the speech sounds so familiar, the movie paid homage to many movies and plays, and this speech is actually a variant of King Harry's St. Crispian's Day speech from Shakespeare's Henry V. See if you can spot Batman in this video of Kenneth Branagh's awesome version of the St. Crispian's Day speech.

Now off to our F18 Hornets, the only aircraft left in the world! We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; for he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother!

Park Dis-Connector Network?

Just tried the newly created PCN near Circuit Road and Aljunied Road and saw this sign.

In front of an overheard bridge.

With no ramps.

What?!

Or maybe I'm wrong and the sign means someone will carry your bike for you up and down the overhead bridge as you walk leisurely in front.

I think LTA and NParks people who plan PCNs should be made to ride their paths with 20kg Flying Pigeon bicycles.

Not all of us own $2200 Bromptons, ok?

That said, I appreciated the parts of the new PCN that worked. It was pleasant to ride to work almost completely on bike paths.