mrbrown.com

They simi also have

This Sydney Thai restaurant very the direct hor?

[via]

Shocking news: Hello Kitty is not a cat

By now, you would have heard the shocking news that Hello Kitty is not a cat. This shocker came from Sanrio themselves:

"Hello Kitty is not a cat. She's a cartoon character. She is a little girl. She is a friend. But she is not a cat. She's never depicted on all fours. She walks and sits like a two-legged creature. She does have a pet cat of her own, however, and it's called Charmmy Kitty."

My life is all a lie. Next you will tell me Goofy is not a dog. Or Barney is not a dinosaur. Or The Force is caused by midi-chlorians.

Does Dear Daniel know? Does he know he hasn't been dating a cat all these years?

I believe all these years Hello Kitty wanted to tell us that she was not a cat. But Sanrio didn’t give her a mouth, to keep it a secret.

This is what I believe Hello Kitty will grow up to look like:

[Drawing above done by my super-talented artist friend Artgerm, in response to the shocking Hello Kitty news. Used with permission.]

Happy 40th, Hwa Chong!

Someone told me I was on this list. Nice list, ST! It is an honour to be in such esteemed company.

10 prominent Singaporeans who graduated from Hwa Chong Junior College: http://mrbrwn.co/1tvKpYb

Policeman Bo Jio?

Seen near Tai Seng MRT Station…

"Stop! No banana for you!"

"Don't eat unripe bananas, citizen!"

"Low banana doesn't mean no banana!"

"High five!"

My kids high-five this "policeman" every time we see the standee. I should take a photo of every place I see him. He is so ubiquitous.

Nice Facebook post you have there…

Facebook: "mrbrown's post "blah blah blah" is performing better than 80% of other posts on that page. Promote it to get even better results."

Sounds like a mafia gangster telling you, "Nice post you have there. It would be a REAL shame if something were to happen to it, and no one saw it…"

Fellow complains ambulance blocking his way

This bozo thinks his kids getting wet is more important than an ambulance saving someone's life.

Your children kena a bit of rain will melt ah? Never heard of umbrella ah? Other people got heart attack is less important than you getting wet ah?

Anyone who has ever had to call an ambulance for a loved one knows how critical time is. Every second counts, whether it is at the pickup location or on the road.

Please give way to ambulances, and don't be a dick. One day you or a loved one may be in that ambulance.


[SCDF comment from TR Facebook]

Tweets from National Day Rally 2014

How time flies, another year, another #ndrsg. And what is the meaning of my life if I don't live tweet it? Here we go!

1. @mrbrown: Wait. If PM is doing his #ndrsg tonight, does that mean don't have #夜市人生? Nooooooo…

2. @mrbrown: PM today not wearing pink leh. I feel so disturbed. #ndrsg

3. @mrbrown: PM just sang Liang Wen Fu's 细水长流. I think it is the first time he has ever sung at an #ndrsg Singapore Got Talent siol.

4. @mrbrown: I am sorry. It was a green screen behind PM and I couldn't resist. #ndrsg

5. @mrbrown: Help me, Obiwan Kenobi! #ndrsg

6. @mrbrown: PM can go and do insurance and financial planning agent liao. Wah he can really talk very long on CPF lor. #ndrsg

7. @mrbrown: Are you not entertained? #ndrsg

8. @mrbrown: PM after his CPF speech, "How many of you still don't understand everything I just told you?" #ndrsg Wah lau, which minister dare to say no?

9. @mrbrown: This year boh goodies ah? #ndrsg

10. @mrbrown: Good news: New Science Centre. Bad news: Still in Jurong. #ndrsg

11. @mrbrown: This year #ndrsg I learned: Fishball stick is now NEA problem. They bao ka liao.

12. @mrbrown: Idea to PM to improve Jurong Japanese Gardens and Chinese Gardens: Move them out of Jurong. #ndrsg

13. @mrbrown: Idea to PM to improve Jurong Japanese Gardens and Chinese Gardens: Plant some Japanese people in Japanese Gardens. #ndrsg

14. @mrbrown: PM shared about all the new MRT lines coming up at #ndrsg and all I can think about is, dig so much Singapore won't sink meh?

15. @mrbrown: The new Singapore-KL high speed rail station may be located in Jurong. So you need your passport to go Jurong first. Then again at JB. #ndrsg

16. @sohbengkuan: Who still say Jurong boring and ulu after this year #ndrsg? (Me. -mb)

17. @miyagi: In other news, Old Chang Kee to start selling fishballs without sticks. #ndrsg (Or without the fishballs too. -mb)

18. @mrbrown: This year the #ndrsg goodie is… Fishball Stick.

19. @mrbrown: And now stand by for the news, that will repeat everything the PM said at #ndrsg

20. @mrbrown: @miyagi and I ask important questions of PM after his #ndrsg

21. @Fake_PMLee Last year #NDRsg , selfie stick. This year, fishball stick.

22. @mrbrown: One fella anyhowly throw fishball stick, and Grace Fu now has new job as Municipal Services Office head. Buay pai. #ndrsg

And this morning, I turn to the Sunday papers and find:

MRT wait long long

New Thomson-East Coast SMRT line to be ready by 2023, 2024.

the mrbrown show: Kim Huat, for the brudders

YouTube link: http://mrbrwn.co/1vQdot4

Kim Huat and Marc sing us a brudder song.

Download the mp3 here: http://mrbrwn.co/1Bjebml

Poor Tigers!

Seen in a YouTube comment: “I’m sure there's other good products besides tiger balms that relieve pain, I don't use tiger balm because they kill tigers for it.”

‪Facepalm.

When I posted this on my Facebook page, I got many interesting responses:

David: "They kill faces to produce facepalms as well."

Abel: "I dont drink Tiger beer for the same reason also."

Shaun: "They kill rabbits for 大白兔奶糖"

Jackie: "I'm fine with olive oil, but baby oil?"

David: "I always use Extra Virgin."

Alex: "How about Camel Nuts?"

Stella: "Hey don't laugh. I used to think Chee cheong fun was real pig intestine…"

Terrence: "How about Mama Lemon?"

Aric: "I don't mind people being vegetarian, but don't talk to me if you're a humanitarian."

Lillian: "What about fish balls?"

Kelvin: "Good luck to the person called Pocari. I think he's definitely working very hard to produce all that sweat."

Not going to be featured in Homes You Can't Afford magazine any time soon

When you first get your home, every renovation detail must be right. By the time you've lived in it for ten years, with three kids: masking tape.

Oh, the fancy glass from the wardrobe door fell off? Cover with pieces of art that the kids made.

In case you are wondering, the bird one on the top right was by Isaac, the flower on an ice-cream stick in the middle and the splatter piece on the bottom right were by Faith, while the rest were done by Joy.

A nurse speaks: it's not just about the pay

This was written by a nurse friend of mine, let's call her "Nurse A". I thought it was very enlightening to read, a look at the societal perspective on the value of health:

As more articles surface regarding nursing, lack of nurses and demand for pay raise, I only have one recurring thought — society has all our priorities wrong.

A nursing diploma is one of the least desirable — an aggregate of 28 points will get you a place in poly. Most say that is so that those who want to be a nurse, can be a nurse, regardless of grades. But that means that those who do not do well, or cannot study well in secondary school and cannot make it to say, Business, or Arts, may choose to study nursing.

Then this whole cycle starts:

1. It is not their interest, thus, many will drop out or not work as nurses even after graduating. And we wonder why polytechnics cannot churn out enough nurses to meet the need. They don't end up in the workforce.

1a. Don't get me wrong here, but healthcare is dealing with lives, with medicine. We let a bunch of people who can't study well and have poor results become nurses. Nurses who are dealing with your lives. A calculation error or an error in judgement can occur in anyone, but I just don't see why you want the smartest to become doctors and the not-so-academically-inclined to become nurses. (Note: I've seen people who are horrible in their studies go on to be awesome nurses, but you get my point about the different requirements for people who are technically in the same line and deal with life and death)

2. If they don't have a backup job to go to, they start working as nurses. Then you have a group of nurses who have zero interest in working as a nurse - You have a bunch of average nurses. A bunch of average nurses, who do the bare minimum, who ARE TAKING CARE OF YOUR ELDERLY FATHER. That's right.

3. And the pay. The pay is not enough. We work long hours, with high patient acuity, low manpower, short or no breaks, highly stressful environments, low recognition/ appreciation, and you get to deal with the unreasonable patient or family. How is it justifiable? Someone that deals with your money earns way more than someone that deals with your health. Obviously, money is more important than health to this society.

4. Then, people migrate or switch to the private sector. The pay in higher, the patient load lesser, and the satisfaction is higher. Then the workforce loses manpower.

There's more to this never ending cycle. But the main point is, society needs to review its priorities. Just raising the pay of nurses to "pacify" the nurses in the workforce now will not solve the problem. To breed a different class of nurses, it needs to start all the way from people's mindsets. From the start of education.

Just remember, you may be the world's richest billionaire, but if one day you are stuck in a hospital under the care of a underpaid, undereducated nurse who is working three jobs to support her family, who has 12 patients under her care, three hours of sleep, no food, a full bladder, five bloods to take, 7 medications to serve, money cannot save you then.

[Photo of my brother tending to my mother who was recovering after her knee operation. She fractured her knee earlier this year.]

Wife 1: Me: 0

We had just finished lunch at the coffee shop and were driving home.

I took out some change from my shirt pocket and said to the wife, "Can put the $2 notes back into my wallet? I'm driving. Hey wait, you're doing it wrong. I like the big notes behind, small notes in front, and facing the same direction."

"I know," the Love of My Life replied, "I just want to irritate you."

‪My wife is such a troll.‬

#iamsingaporean: The National Day 2014 edition

Once again, it is National Day, our nation's 49th birthday. And what is National Day without some #iamsingaporean tweets, right?

Some background and trivia: "I Am Singaporean" actually started out as a series of audio podcasts that were recorded by me, Miyagi, my friends, and my favourite one, by my wife, in 2006. Go have a listen if you have never heard them.

Since then, I have been tweeting this hashtag almost every NDP because it is fun to declare what it means to be Singaporean. I kicked it off this morning and it has gone right through the trending roof, because, well, because we are all #iamsingaporean lah.

Oh, yes, before I forget: Happy 49th Birthday, Singapore!

1. @mrbrown: Other people Fourth of July go picnic. We Ninth of August go wet market and eat at hawker centre. #iamsingaporean

2. @syzzlyn: @mrbrown Hahahah Exactly what my parents did this morn… at Bedok Central. #iamsingaporean

3. @mrbrown: Want to scold, can scold me. We don't play mother one. #iamsingaporean

4. @mrbrown: Don't care how long the queue is, the queue so long must be the food very good. #iamsingaporean

5. @mrbrown: Must have my morning kopi or teh. #iamsingaporean

6. @miyagi: I live on an island, I fly abroad for island holidays #iamsingaporean

7. @miyagi: We care about national security, but we use our office keycards to chope seats. #iamsingaporean

8. @melpig: No kopi cannot work. #iamsingaporean

9. @Seat24Charlie: I pay good money to spend the weekend in a hotel 20 minutes away from my house #iamsingaporean

10. @HongJieOng: buying from your regular stall till they can memorize your order. #iamsingaporean

11. @mrbrown: When I say LJ, I don't mean LiveJournal. #iamsingaporean

12. @miyagi: #ManU, #Chelsea or #Liverpool can be our teams, but we dun know or support any S-League ones. #iamsingaporean

13. @mrbrown: Grandparents speak five dialects, parents speak one dialect (maybe), kids don't even know what their dialect group is. #iamsingaporean

14. @HaruLoku: You know you're Singaporean when you've never eaten these before #iamsingaporean (Eat liao will Merlion. -mb)

15. @furryphotos: Willing to queue 4 hours to book a table 3 months at a super popular restaurant. #iamsingaporean

16. @Gdy2shoez: I travel from Pasir Ris to new mall in Jurong because #iamsingaporean

17. @frhn: The #iamsingaporean tweets are hilarious. (Thank you. It's my yearly national duty. -mb)

18. @darrylho: #iamsingaporean No aircon will die

19. @MascotNila: Being able to instantly pick up a Singlish accent from across a crowded restaurant while overseas. #iamsingaporean

20. @mrbrown: One of the best public transport systems in the world. But not best enough for us because #iamsingaporean

21. @mrbrown: Four different cashless payment cards in one wallet. #iamsingaporean

22. @CDPPie: Knowing the difference between "air" and "air". #iamsingaporean (Baik lah! -mb)

23. @ronaldisthewan: I squatted by the drain to brush my teeth when I was a primary sch student for some national campaign. #iamsingaporean

24. @melpig: Order Milo by saying "tat kiew" at coffee shops. #iamsingaporean

25. @tstar: Go to hotel lobbies to use their toilets because the toilets are very nice #iamsingaporean

26. @hellofrmSG: .#iamsingaporean because when I see people starting this convo I also want to chap jin lai

27. @_shxrty_: Cold weather also tweet, hot weather also tweet. #iamsingaporean

28. @mrbrown: We are a nation of readers. #iamsingaporean

29. @zomgitsashok: National Day. Confirm must wear red. #iamsingaporean

30. @miyagi: Excited that many stores are offering 49% discounts. Can't wait for #SG100. #iamsingaporean

31. @tanhuiyi: I smuggle food & drinks from NTUC into Shaw or Golden Village #iamsingaporean

32, @Nyzms: Alamak. Here comes @mrbrown with his hashtag of the day. #iamsingaporean

33. @mrbrown: We love stories like this one and this one from #singaporeanoftheday because #iamsingaporean

34. @NeilHumphreys: Loving the #iamsingaporean stuff. loving it. (We love you too, Mr Humphreys. -mb)

35. @MothershipSG: #iamsingaporean because I think mee kia is spaghetti and mee pok is linguine

36. @funkshin: #iamsingaporean cos my bomb shelter is too full to protect me from bombs. (Where we keep the toilet rolls. -mb)

37. @ronaldisthewan: Every MRT stop has a shopping centre. #iamsingaporean (Almost, hor? -mb)

38. @lynnylchan: Sitting in the sun at Marina Bay to book my camera spot for fireworks later. #iamsingaporean

39. @ComradeTovarich: Because I complain about everything under the sun including the sun itself. #iamsingaporean

40. @yinghaoz: I type on WhatsApp faster than you type on computer because #iamsingaporean

41. @IanLeong93: Getting outraged that economic rice at food courts cost more than $5 #iamsingaporean

42. @frhn: All year long complain non-stop about the country but for one day, on 9 Aug, suddenly overly patriotic because #iamsingaporean.

43. @sarahcoldheart: I KNOW HOW TO DO THE GREAT SINGAPORE WORKOUT. #iamsingaporean (You more Singaporean than me then. Haha! -mb)

44. @chezevo: I am very amused by @mrbrown's #iamsingaporean tweets every year (Y) (Tankew! -mb)

45. @mrbrown: National Day still got tuition and revision. #iamsingaporean

46. @mrbrown: Would never wear or buy anything with a Merlion on it because #iamsingaporean

47. @MothershipSG: #iamsingaporean because I don't carry umbrella out and then it rains.

48. @mrbrown: We love our parks. #iamsingaporean

49. @Hwang_Yihui: When someone living in Jurong dates someone living in Pasir Ris it's called a long-distance relationship #iamsingaporean

50. @funkshin: #iamsingaporean cos I still dunno when to sing "bersatu" and "bersaru" in Majulah Singapura. (But I do! -mb)

51. @ronaldisthewan: Animals teach us when we were young. A lion says be courteous, a bee says be productive, a frog says keep it clean & green. #iamsingaporean

52. @mrbrown: Put. Chilli. On. Every. Thing. #iamsingaporean

53. @thebrainyspecs: Accidentally-on-purpose wearing red today. #iamsingaporean

54. @HongJieOng: Wearing Man U shirt to floating platform later. #iamsingaporean

55. That ecstatic feeling when @mrbrown retweets you #iamsingaporean (Good things must share mah! -mb)

56. @dtio: I follow @mrbrown just because #iamsingaporean (Tankew! It is my honour. -mb)

57. @howwow: Now this feels more like National Day with @mrbrown tweets #IAmSingaporean Happy 49th National Day Singapore! (Kumsiah! -mb)

58. @NeilHumphreys I am kinda, secretly, looking forward to #NDP fireworks and truly have no idea why. #iamsingaporean

59. @jeffcheong #iamsingaporean because is will always sing an extra 'ma' at the end of the national anthem.

60. @madebyjw Happy 49th Birthday, Singapore! #iamsingaporean

61. @mrbrown: Working from home. On a public holiday. Without a shirt on. Because so hot ok? #iamsingaporean

62. @mrbrown: Tweet/Instagram/Facebook until battery dead. #iamsingaporean

Which Turtle movie are we watching again?

Me: "Kids, your uncle is taking you to the Turtle movie tomorrow."

Son: "Yaaaaay! Is it Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?"

Me: "No, it's Turtle: The Incredible Journey, a documentary."

Son: "Noooooooo…"

I can be such a Troll Dad.

After I told them it was really Michael Bay's movie, Isaac whispered to his disappointed younger sister (who probably wanted a less boy-oriented movie), "They are Turtles… and Ninjas."

A mrbrown NDP song playlist spanning SEVEN years

YouTube link: http://mrbrwn.co/1pDC16j

A playlist of every NDP song the mrbrown team has ever done from 2008 to 2014. Did I miss any song?

The Sound of Music

There is something about watching the Sound of Music on stage that is magical. I love the original movie version with Julie Andrews, for sure, and my kids and I can sing almost all the songs by heart. But watching the stage version has its moments too.

Do catch it at the MasterCard Theatres at Marina Bay Sands before the run ends on 10th of August 2014.

the mrbrown show: jiak simi (music video)

YouTube link: http://mrbrwn.co/1ulGM5G

This year, they said the 49th birthday of Singapore has no new NDP song. So not only did Marc Nair and I write one, we made this music video for you. Sing along and share, ok?

United Airlines writes the most insincere apology letter

This was recently released by a customer of United on imgur.

I, (USERNAME), think (COMPANY) has quite a (INSERT SPECIFIC ADJECTIVE CONVEYING EPIC FAIL) apology letter.

That reminds of the classic United Breaks Guitars incident: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YGc4zOqozo

the mrbrown show: Happy 49th Birthday, Singapore!

No new song for our nation's 49th National Day? Nair mind! We write!

Here is the song-only version too:

Download or listen via the Soundcloud player above or the mrbrown server below:

Play "the mrbrown show: Happy 49th Birthday, Singapore!"

Song only:

Play "the mrbrown show: Jiaksimi (song only)"