Dear Companies Who Did Diddly Squat For Joseph Schooling Before He Won His Olympic Gold,
Thank you for your generous offers of free rides, free whatever, and congratulatory ads that show your product big-big.
After Joseph Schooling won a Gold for our nation.
After all the blood, sweat, tears and money that he and his parents and loved ones have shed on his swimming training.
I think it's time pay up if you want some marketing opportunities with our new hero. Cash is best.
I have decided to compile a list of the bandwagonners. The first one, by SMRT isn't that bad. But it attracted some pretty funny comments below. Like "Congrats Joseph Schooling for being faster than our trains.". Ok, I admit it, that one was by me.
But there were other gems like "Hahahahaha. Joseph Schooling can swim faster than your trains arriving ;)" and "Only 4 people made it to celebrate his victory because there was a track fault".
We also had MPs jumping in too.
Dear Lee Bee Wah, please share with us a detailed breakdown of how you secured NS deferment for Joseph Schooling and Quah Zheng Wen, since you seem very convinced about your monumental contribution.
Because my understanding is that their parents negotiated with Mindef at a personal level. Sure, you brought it up in Parliament yonks ago but to include your "contribution" in a congratulatory message seems self-serving, no?
Hey, I also contributed to Joseph Schooling's win because I refrained from peeing in a pool he was training in.
This one by Lee Hwa Jewelry was damn one kind. Clever ah, use the headline of "GOLD" then tompang your brand in there.
Ahhhh, Brands Essence of Chicken. This one was one of the most annoying bandwagon ads I saw. The bottle of chicken essence big big put there, as if to suggest that it had anything to do with Joseph Schooling's fine performance.
Grab lived up to its name here. It really reached out and grabbed Joseph Schooling's name and used it for its own promotion. Come on lah. Using Schooling's name as a promo code? Without paying him a cent for it? An earlier ad even offered Schooling's family free rides.
How about you guys give their family some cold hard cash? You know, so that they can defray some of the costs they have spent over the years on Joseph's training and studies, estimated to be more than a million dollars.
Free rides?! Wah lau eh.
This one by 99.co more champion. Even uses Joseph's image. You welcome him home, you put your own photos here lah. Why must use his image without paying leh?
Singapore Airlines did put in some effort in giving Joseph Schooling some nice stuff. They offered him a Krisflyer Gold card with one million miles in it. Now I am not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, especially if it comes with 1 million miles, but eh, Gold card only ah? At least PPS lah!
And this photo above that ended up in the news got many of us scratching our heads. Whose birthday is it? Why is that fella behind not wearing formal clothes like the rest? Wait, that's Joseph Schooling! The cake wasn't for the fella in front!
Now these are all fine, hardworking staff of our nation's airline. So please don't flame them. And I am sure all this was done under a lot of time pressure. But whoever was responsible for the PR needs to vet these things, lest it sends the impression that the airline is more important that the hero they are celebrating.
Temasek Clothings (@temasekclothings) helped to fix that Singapore Airlines photo:
I will be adding to this Bandwagon List as we go along. I am sure we can find more.
Since everyone is jumping on the bandwagon, I also join in. This morning, in honor of Joseph Schooling's win and return, I got out of bed 50.39 seconds after my (third) alarm went off. I think it's a personal best.
Anyway, I also did 50.39 seconds for Butterfly before (25m Butterfly). I'm well on my way to Olympics Gold. Tokyo 2020 here I come!
The Bandwagon List of Shamelessness contributions keep pouring in. So here we go:
Pizza Hut, why Hawaiian pizza? Joseph Schooling is from Hawaii issit?
Canopy Garden Restaurant, so if Joseph Schooling swam slower, we would get more discount lah? Aiyah, why Joseph didn't swim his 100m Butterfly in 99 seconds leh? Then can get 99% discount from you lor.
What's next, McDonald's? Joseph Schooling Happy Meal with Schooling-O-Fish burger and Butterfly fries?
Because Joseph Schooling's thighs look like chicken drumsticks ah?