Mile 22 was a pretty crappy movie. I’m glad I didn’t watch it at the cinemas in 2018. I think this may be Mark Wahlberg’s worst movie.
Marky Mark plays James Silva, an always-angry CIA operative whose Overwatch (haha!) team needs to escort an asset from Indonesia who knows where some bad nuclear thingie is. They have to travel from the embassy of “Indocarr” (fictional place but they speak Indonesian) to the airport where a plane is waiting to extract them, and it is… 22 miles away.
Of course, they don’t call a Gojek, but instead fight their way to their destination while being chased by Indocarr’s special forces and street punks. Taking Gojek would have been faster.
In the middle of the movie, Mother (John Malkovich) who is their handler, computer team leader, and general eye in the sky, has to explain the plot all over again so that you will not be confused by the convoluted first half of the movie.
There is even the line from a recurring series of SNL Andy Samberg sketches parodying Mark Wahlberg, "Say hi to your mother for me."
Wah, they play mother one.
You also get to hear Wahlberg explain a bunch of things in the middle of the movie to his debriefing team. In case, you need more exposition. And you also get to see how bad Ronda Rousey's acting is.
They have it all. A crack team, every weapon known to man, air and satellite support provided by Asian chiobu rapper CL (Lee Chae-rin), killer drones, nerdy MIT-trained computer experts saying high-tech things but unable to unlock an encrypted hard drive, and documents that they sign before a mission that state they are no longer American citizens as evidence of their ultimate patriotism.
The only thing they don't have is a decent plot.
Naturally, a country must be depicted like some dingy Third-World banana republic full of corrupt cops and slums. And for some reason, the motorcycle-riding bad guys wear black from top to toe. In our Southeast Asian heat.
Even the twist in the plot (yes, I will save you the trouble of watching this by telling you there is a twist), was ultimately unsatisfying and a cheap attempt at setting up a possible sequel (Mile 23?).
What a waste of John Malkovich and The Raid’s Iko Uwais.
Option 1: Diplomacy
Option 2: Military
Option 3: Watch something else.
